by TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE-COACH RIMA DESAI
Tag Archives: marriage
REFINE YOUR DESTINY ~ KARM(a) THEORY
Please note that the original term is KARM, not KARMAS (western version). Hence you will see me use the term Karm or Karm(a)s often in the text today.
Did you know that 2019 has been one of the most potent year of our generation, astrologically speaking. Have you found this year to be exceptionally challenging? The two karmic planets in Vedic / Sidereal Astrology made a huge impact in our lives this year.
2019 to 2022 is one of the most popular time for Vedic Astrologers since some of transits happening in the sky have never happened in our millennium! As I made my astrology video on Saturn-Ketu (South Node) conjunction in Sagittarius, one of my viewers emailed me, asking me to make a video on how to repay our karmas? What a wonderful question! I’d love to answer that today.
What is KARM(a) exactly? Karm in the Indian language means ‘Action’ or ‘Deed’. However, karm is not our outward action alone. Karm is also our inward action. What does this mean?
This means that every thought which is generated from our belief systems and perceptions and the intentions behind our actions make up karm as well. A collection of Karm over time makes up our destiny. In other words, the larger, intense, transformative life experience we have in our current birth are often an expression of our ‘BANKED’ karma from many previous life times.
TYPES OF KARM(a)s
There are 4 main types of Karmas:
- Sanchit Karm(a)s: The full range of karm collection for an individual soul, until current day
- Prarabdh Karm(a)s: Karms that have matured or ripened from the bank of sanchit karms. Not all karms ripen at the same time. Karms ripen when they are ready to give their fruits. (Just like our Fixed Deposits or Investments have a maturity time).
- Kriyaman Karm(a)s: The karms that we are creating by our thoughts and deeds in the present moment
- Agam Karm(a)s: Karms that are yet to mature or manifest in the future
The Two Karmic Planets
Saturn and Ketu (South Node) are the two karmic planets in Vedic Astrology. Saturn ruling the sign of Aquarius (along with North Node Rahu) and Ketu co-ruling the sign of Scorpio along with Mars are the two most important planets responsible in giving us the fruits of our Sanchit Karms. They govern the painful, deep teachings or transformative experiences in our life. I would not call them negative planets. After all, they help us REPAY our pent up karmic debt and help our soul progress towards a higher state of existence!
7 ways to repay our karmic debts
- Surrender to our destiny – The painful experiences, people, and events in our life are often the culmination of our Prarabdh karms. e.g. people we trust the most betray us or money we lose when unexpected, being or feeling abused, etc. Those people are merely ‘nimit’ (means / medium) to have our ‘karm phal‘ (fruits of our karms) reach us. Should we surrender to our lord, destiny and life then, humbly accepting our karmic lessons, we are able to resolve that debt much more easily and avoid further entanglement.
- Penance – Repenting for known and unknown deeds that inflicted pain to another is one of the most powerful way to repay our karmic debts. When we are pain we often say to ourselves that we haven’t done bad to anyone but truly if we were to remember and list the rude words, actions and harmful deeds we have done to the planet, animals, people in all our life years and the hurt it caused in their heart and soul even if momentarily (often lasting very long), we will surprise ourselves.
Jainism propagates asking for forgiveness from every single living being on the planet with true intention (Intention is everything, words mean nothing to the universe if our intention is not aligned!). I highly recommend Landmark Forum’s activity where they ask us to go back to our parents, siblings, ex lovers, friends, everyone we know who we have felt hurt by us and who we feel deeply have hurt us. No matter how much we justify to ourselves that the apology is not required or may not be received well, in reality it is what some people in our lives have been waiting for years. I did that activity with over 18 people in my life and found not only how long they had kept the hurt within but also how much I mattered to them! By healing my heart and theirs as well, it brought massive spiritual shifts for me as well as them! - Voluntarily Repay – We can take charge and do what it takes to repay the debt even if painful. E.g. if we have not returned someone’s belongings or money, even after years into it, we can go ahead and finish that circle of debt or serving other needy people to repay old debts we held towards others. Another example is – if we have had difficult people in our lives, know that our karm is often calling attention to healing that life experience from this birth or past. Taking the lead to do what it takes to heal the relationship can help you repay the debt at least from you end. If the other person doesn’t receive or respond it, that’s their incomplete debt, but you having done your part, complete your end of the duty! Remember, the universe hears and sees our intentions, every single second!
- Life-Coaching, SRT, Hypnotherapy – The power of the subconscious mind, opening our Akashic records and emotionally changing our life-stories / emotional lifestyle is huge! By strengthening our mind emotionally, we build mental resilience, learn to be humble and dissolve old soul contracts that are unhealthy. You will find that by seeking these services, a massive shift entails not only in your vibrational message but heals the core existence of everyone around you.
- Deeds of Service – Serving the needy, diseased or underprivileged people with physical deeds of service (preparing, distributing, serving food or visiting them, spending them with them, sharing affection, etc.) helps with the blessings that can dissolve tough karms. Remember though that the universe notices our intention. If our intention to help is to receive recognition, name or fame, then our deeds are credited towards karmic backlog.
6. Godliness aka Virtuous Living – need I say more about this? The emphasis of visiting a place of worship, worshiping a Godly figure, etc. is to build a virtuous character, so as to proceed towards more and more intentional living and humble expressions of ourselves. By being humanitarian or simple in our existence, we simplify the perceptions we hold towards life and difficult times. It builds our inner resilience and appreciation of life however it is!
7. Blessings from an Enlightened Soul – Last but not the least, there is an uncanny ability of karmic debts being resolved with the blessings of a highly enlightened soul. When priests / gurus that are truly humble, highly spiritual and sorted in their existence, they are able to perish the negativity we hold in our energetic stamps of life. It is like having a strong antidote to a virus.
How did you like this post? Did it add to your knowledge and understanding of karm(a)s? What would you like to add to it? Please contribute and hear my video, soon to be attached below.
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KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE!
Do you find it hard to express your love to your loved ones? This post is for you!
Isn’t it amazing to have good friends in our life, no matter how far they are! I was having this heart to heart conversation with a very close friend and discovered something new about her!
Expressing OUR LOVE for our partner / spouse is crucial in any stage of the relationship. Taking each other for granted in known or unconscious ways, is often what distances or breaks a relationship.
Here are some quick tips to keep the romance bursting in your LOVE LIFE. Pick whatever suits you best. These are just some suggestions. Tweek them as you like, pick 1 or 2 that suits you best or use them all!
– SAY IT WITH FLOWERS: Yes, flowers are awesome and they are not just a lady’s pal. Flowers can refresh a relationship and a stressful day. Once you keep the stress away, lots of smile are coming you way 😁
– SURPRISE THEM: Got a surprise dinner planned or an outing to their favorite place or maybe even a small getaway? For most people, it leads straight to the heart!
– MAKE A NOTE: Post its or a chalk board, whatever you have to simply write ” I LOVE YOU” or “YOU MEAN THE WORLD” is a simple but powerful way to reignite some magic.
– GET A GIFT: Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, unless of course🤪 your partner is explicit about it. Remember, men love gifts too. A wallet, a pen, coasters, cuff lings, a shirt, their favorite coffee, a beer mug, call it a day!
– THE SOUND OF MUSIC: Music has healing powers. Get to know their favorite songs, bands or musicians and treat them for a at home concert (play their fav music), date a concert (part of surprises maybe?) or buy them the perfect play in the car playlist. Maybe add some dancing to a musical, romantic day.
– CARDS, CARS, OURS! – Give them a greeting card on their bday, when they are unwell or to thank them for their lovely gestures. Go for a drive in the car (You drive them, give them a break!) and spend time ALONE (let them know, you planned alone time just for them!).
– COOK IT UP: Take a day to COOK ONLY THEIR FAVORITE FOOD. Rest of the family can play along at least for a day??!
– There are many other ways to express love. Get creative. Getting too busy with our in laws, children, work, routine, etc. can keep us from remembering that we must invest time, energy and love in our relationship for it to continue to thrive!
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The Biography of a Victorious Father
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!! We truly treasure the fathers that make our family feel strong and complete. I am introducing today, one such rare FATHER. Read the story of this parent from his child’s narration and in the end, bask in the wisdom shared by this marvelous human being. Today, we are talking about Mwalimu Desai or in other words Mr. Raman Desai. (Mwalimu means Teacher in Ki-Swahili).
It is not like diamonds are found everywhere. Precious things rare, so are precious people.
Mwalimu Desai is a highly sought out person in Mwanza city (Tanzania country in Central East Africa) and immensely loved by the locals. Mind you, do not be fooled by his simple dressing – usually a pale white or brown pant with a simple T-shirt tucked into a black belt. The Kikapu (a little bamboo suitcase) and his white hat are a part of his signature dressing. As he passes the streets filled with hustle of several hundreds, watch his popularity wave by.
Behind the warmth of this soothing smile, is a man who has fought the worst battles of Parenthood in a span of over 2 decades; nightmares that can make our skin disown us and yet through the turbulence, he has managed to emerge victorious. He kept moving on through the rocky roads of life and demanded victory over each moment. Today his life may seem to be at a lot more at ease while he still continues to spread his down-to-earth generosity. Jan 15th of this year, he celebrated his 81st Birthday!
The crux of this biography is – “It is easy to survive through the toughest times but it is not easy to LIVE through life’s traumas, emerge victorious and yet continue to live with enthusiasm, modesty and selflessly”.
HIS-STORY
Raman Desai experienced a sudden crash in his financial situation at the most crucial juncture of life. He had 2 kids, one who was 1 year old and other just 5. All of a sudden the roof over his head was ripped off, everything was lost, everything! Having 2 children to feed and a very simple salary to work off on, he knew, he had no choice but to STEER through his situation! For 25 years since then, he put his sweat and blood together to ensure that his children get EVERYTHING THAT THEY DESERVE. In that tough journey, he had the courage and companionship of the most important person – his Wife: Late Mrs. Vandana Desai.
A MESSAGE FROM HIS SON
- “Dad had a very basic salary. He would wear old clothes for several years, even patch them up so that they would last longer. It was a tough situation financially but dad and mom never brought those troubles to the forefront. They did their best to give us everything they could and always gave priority to our needs. They would work for 20 hours a day (with no exaggeration). Yes, 20 hours – day and night, cyclostyling; which they did for years! (*An ancient device for duplicating handwriting, in which a pen with a small toothed wheel pricks holes in a sheet of waxed paper, which is then used as a stencil). If you know how a cyclostyle works, it requires a lot of hand effort and doing that for so many hours each day sounds painful!
- This was just ‘One of the several jobs’ they did to make sure we had food to eat, clothes to wear and books to study from. In fact, I had a major illness as a child. I had severe asthama since age 4 till my 20s. I would get asthama attacks and my health would be down for days. Mom and Dad had to call the doctors in emergency several times, stay up late at night for days together. NEVER, NOT ONCE, did they complain for the long drooling hours of no sleep and the efforts they had to put in for my care. I knew I was strictly not allowed to eat certain things but I would be careless but still they stayed calm and accepting of me. It is phenomenal how affectionate, caring, and kind they were.
- Dad gave us the best education. We had to be sent far for our education starting standard (Grade) 7th. It was a tough decision as expenses were higher with flight travels, abroad stays and lots of other challenges especially due to my health problems. We were some of lucky few children who were sent out of Mwanza city and in the States for higher studies. There were other parents in town who could very well afford it financially but they did not send their children. With my parents, it was the opposite situation. We literally went abroad with pennies in our pockets but my dad’s faith, his courage and his support did it for us! It was completely unimaginable and I still cant fathom how my parents did it.
- Till date, I do not know how many LOANS he had taken over the years to put us through these schools; he has NEVER told us or made us feel short. And today both me and my sister are well settled at such wonderful jobs and lives. We continue to follow my dad’s philosophy – he always taught us to be generous, kind and content with what we have. We were among the poorest in town but yet, my parents gave the most donations of food to the needy.
- They taught us to give others even when we did not have enough to eat at home. They taught me to help others and they always PRACTICED WHAT THEY TAUGHT US. They also instilled in us the values of FAMILY LIFE. For several years they stayed awake and worked 19-20 hours a day, yet they would remove time to play games with us each evening. They also added a lot of fun and humor to our daily lives, it did not even make us realize what their sorrows were. And in spite of all those sorrows, they have always supported us in our endeavors and wishes.
A MESSAGE FROM MWALIMU RAMAN DESAI
My (late) wife and I have never asked for any help. We worked day and night to raise our children in the right and the best way. And even when our children were small, they extended help to us. Yes, there were times when we argued and fought. It was not all rosy and easy. But love abided within us and in the end, we were one always! This is the greatest challenge of a parent – to teach unity and love to overcome all the small difficulties or faults that we see in life or each other. Our goal was to bring them up and give them the best type of education that they can lead a good life and help other needy people.
I hope other parents feel encouraged and inspired from this message. That is the purpose of me writing here. Consider your child as a lovely plant in the garden. The tree grows with time and only the one which is nurtured the best from inside, no matter what weather conditions were outside, bears fresh, fruits for years to come!”
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To do or not to? A Mom’s Eternal ‘Soup’ Opera
SINGLE MOM? MARRIED yet SINGLE??
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY in Advance. This post is dedicated to Moms, Stay-at-home, Working, Single or just simply M-O-M-S; Also dedicated to those feeling very stressed as Moms or having stressful marriages. It may sound funny and yet truly a Mom’s Daily Opera can very well be feeling like they are in a ‘Soup’. Being a Life-Coach for Women (Women Empowerment Coach), I get to see that a lot with my clients. To do or not to do? To say or not to say? To ‘stay’ or not to stay? To prioritize their lives or not? … endless thoughts…
Living as a Single Parent is never easy, I grew up in one. My mom died when I was 6. We were a family of 3 – My dad, my elder sis and me. While we had massive emotional struggles both individually and collectively due to a whole range of factors, today I talk more in terms of Moms / Women who are Married and yet are Single Moms. I mean that hundreds of moms are the ones taking 80% to 100% of the responsibility of child care and home management. I also talk about the moms who were married and later became Single Moms. I fall more so somewhere in between ;)
It has been an interesting and eye-opening ride. I have found immense blessings in the decisions I have taken to free up my internal space, emotional space and sense of freedom for self-expression. It is funny how despite the democracies we live in, thousands of Moms / Women live in relationships where they feel total lack of freedom of self-expression, even lack of freedom of thought! I was that Mom for half a decade! I was that Wife for a Decade! I was that Woman for 3 Decades!!!! Now?? No more! I stepped up to myself, to my life, to my rights, to my child and our future!
WEEKEND BONANZA?! Moms always get it for free ;)
This weekend has been one of those weekends so typical of being almost a Single Mom. From Friday evening my mind’s pool has been scuba diving into this dire need to write a life-shaking article and I finally get to it on Sunday night at 11pm! …
…An article on how we women feel trapped and keep ourselves woven into this endless victim-hood cycle of the necessary sacrifice we MUST do for our family. I don’t mean to generalize this to all women, neither to just women, there are men too that suffer and sacrifice. Yet my focus in this article and in all the work I do as a Women-Empowerment Coach and Psychologist is towards all the Asian, Indian and other Moms who feel culturally hemmed by the rigid beliefs shoved down our throats (metaphor!), literally since our conception.
Yes, since conception! This is because several beliefs are passed on to us through our mothers, the emotions they feel, thoughts they have, any suffering they feel or behavior patterns they have are passed on to us in our womb. In the womb, we receive our first teachings about re-living these emotional patterns of Victimhood, Persecution, Martyr Archetypes, etc. and pass then we pass them on to our children and future generations. Just like any other inherited illness like varicose veins, thyroid, diabetes, etc., it is like a trademark or a tendency we carry with our soul and then it gets activated when we encounter it socially.
SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
This means serious good news! It means that we have way more control over our destiny than we ever thought or believed. The genes we carry can be energetically re-woven and socially insulated when we choose to alter our emotional patterns, behaviors and self-defeating beliefs. This can be done in several ways. The one most effective for me and thousands of other women has been COUNSELING, LIFE-COACHING, PAST-LIFE REGRESSION, HYPNOTHERAPY, SRP or FAMILY CONSTELLATION, SELF-HYPNOSIS, GUIDED MEDITATIONS, REIKI, etc.
Believe it or not, in the past 2 years I have opened myself up to ALL of the above therapies and used a combination of EACH and ALL of these therapies to fish out a new baby out of me – a new ‘Self-Identity’ I mean. A new way of thinking, feeling and living. I have TRANSFORMED 280 degrees and continue to move towards the 360 mark! A big proof to that is my TWIN FLAME ACTIVATION and this super powerful journey that I am in. A second huge proof to this is the quality of LIVE VIDEOS, presentation and confidence that so many viewers tell me I clearly depict! A third proof is that now, I facilitate the powerful transformation of others. I can go on with the list of success and transformation I and others have found in me since all the major healing I have done. Above all, the happiness that spills out of me is at a totally different level. Clearing up the Generational Pathology that Women in my ancestral weave have inherited was probably one huge sigh of relief.
However, Family Constellation, SRP and Past life regression has its limitations. In that, it can clear up negative, stuck energy and soul contracts and yet we have to do our Inner Work in clearing up our belief systems, be willing to confront our fears, shames, guilts and grief, face the hardest and show willingness to change. No one can change our destiny but ourselves.
It is definitely not easy. It requires one to sit on a wired fence with a fire at the bottom and a sword hanging above. What I mean by that is the ‘fear’ part of confronting a whole new life-style against societal beliefs. Most women chicken out because of the high risk of social taboos and probable social rejection. Courage is one thing I have, for I cannot be a Revolutionary, a Leader if I can’t walk the talk! How can I guide other Moms and Women onto a saner life and path if I can’t show what Speaking Up means, what drawing strong boundaries means while continuing to be kind and unconditional in one’s acceptance of self and others. How can I motivate and encourage you to alter your identity and life-style if I cannot question and confront harmful societal and cultural practices.
Don’t get me wrong. One does not always have to bat out of a marriage or take extreme measures. The aim is ALWAYS to be objective about the next best steps and the final goal. If one can spark the beginning of a two way street, it is the way to go. Sometimes just putting your foot down and stop being the door mat can do wonders. Women are so used to giving endless and feeling empty within, the man almost never realizes how much is being taken for granted. Often times the problem is with us. We need to give less and do enough for ourselves so that our bucket of Love and Joy does not drain out like cooking what we love just as often as we cook what the family loves. Even practices like asking for care from the family when we are ill or drawing a boundary on how much and how often we will entertain guests can be super helpful in the long run. We receive no productive outcome/s when we just about don’t do that and also keep constantly complaining.
But then there are many women that have been or are being seriously abused or ones that are on an endlessly one street dead end curve; where there is almost no hope for recuperation or any real love and cooperation coming from the man no matter what one does. Some men clearly refuse counseling, mutual discussion or anything to do with healing the relationship. They may be in denial or in defensive mode and may even stay there forever!
Ultimately, you are the best judge of your next steps. You know deep in your heart what’s your truth and your sixth sense must be your best advocate. It knows! As long as you can differentiate between your 6th sense and your logic, and follow the deep nudge, you are good to go. As for me too, you may need a lot of VALIDATION in the early steps, and constant ones too! I asked for it more and more, again and again from my experts and my true well-wishers and today I am anything but Thankful a 100 times and more :)
A POT OF ADVICE by ME
“The parents who think that they are staying in the marriage only for the kids are either having an excuse to run away from the fears of separation or are lacking perspective.
If we stay in a #marriage that harbors Bitterness, Harshness, Arguments, Lack of Love, Judgement and rejection despite all efforts, then we are showing our children that Relationships are a Burden and all about Bitterness. That to me, is not #Commitment, that is Foolishness!Killing our happiness by the fear of society or the fear of our children’s future is showing and teaching our children to do the same things in their future. It is Actually Killing their future to see a #Partnership that is Superficial, Contractual in Nature where both parents stay in a partnership merely for the Sake of it. Pretence is never healthy.
Stay in a marriage for #Love, #Unity and #Companionship, our children need to see that. If we cannot show our children that, then we must show them LOVE by Being our Individual selves outside the Marriage. Sometimes #Divorce is Wisdom and a Gift to our children!”
~ Soul Food ~ by Coach Rima Desai ~ Happy Upcoming Mother’s Day!!
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When NOT to get an Astrology reading
O how we are attracted to the play of Planets in our lives. Since we can remember, humans have turned to astrology for guidance and hope. And don’t these planets impact us? Of course they do! The sun’s rays impacts us? If yes, then so does every other planet in our solar system. Astrology is real, it works! However, if one gets a wrong reading, is misguided or feels misled, then that doesn’t mean astrology is wrong. It simply means that not all astrologers are informed or talented enough to be able to provide the ‘authentic’, ancient astrology or that it may have been a mismatch or that just like other industries, some astrologers are ‘commercial’ and some are sincere, learned astrologers. Whatever the case, it is important to not ‘judge’ this ancient science with the lack of one’s knowledge or a bad experience.
One of the big reason why astrology pulls us towards it is that we ‘believe’ that it will give us HOPE for a better future. That is often the reason many people show their charts to astrologers. Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima.
Astrology may be able to give us hope but it was primarily built to guide people in seeking important answers related to guiding their soul’s spiritual advancement, choosing a career, being mindful of one’s karmic backlog and finding solutions to life’s problems related to relationships or etc…
This is not a post for anyone in specific, it is to all those who have in the past, and still consult me with their charts – if you want HOPE, you do not need to show your chart to gain it. A horoscope cannot guarantee anything is going to be ‘better’. Neither can it change things magically. In fact, it could point out the several problems that the individual must address. What happens then to one’s psyche?
In my consultations to people, it has helped my clients to be affirmed of challenges they perceive, have or feel and finding more ‘internalized’ solutions as vs. external, superficial remedies like gem stones or havans.
Working on our ‘character’, our ‘sanskars’, our attitude towards things can do a lot more for us than having a chart read simply for ‘HOPE’ of things turning in your favor. What if I see something worse coming up? Then what do you want the astrologer to tell you?
“Showing one’s chart cannot guarantee a better future, working on oneself can!!!”
Ways to work on oneself: Life-Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Spiritual living, Meditation, Social Service, Life-style change including food and exercise.
When can astrology help?
Astrology is a wonderful, scientific tool which can be used towards one’s benefit in many ways. It can help provide insights into which career or which field of study to pursue, the purpose of one’s birth, what did the soul pledge to do before it chose that body, best time for marriage, child birth, how to reduce certain health or financial hazards and best move through challenging planetary times…
I hope this information helps you make better choices for a brighter future. Remember there is no escape from Self-Work: In our years of life, we have thought ill of people, judged others, been critical, harsh, boastful, greedy, deceived others, acted out of insecurity, etc. Through life-coaching and other modalities, when we clear out our past, we 100% create a pathway for a Brighter Future and then, it doesn’t matter what our chart says!!!
Also know that when a solution is mentioned from an astrological point of view, that is probably the ‘best’ solution for your particular context. Clients sometimes hope for ‘easier’ solutions. Imagine if I am ill, you are giving me medicine for my ailment but I don’t like this medicine, could I ask for an ‘easier’ medicine? … when we show our charts, it gets easier for us if we are ‘willing’ to make the changes mentioned. The astrologer is not a magician: cannot change things around for you. Short cut solutions do not work. They are simply quick fixes that produce weak results.
However, if you are ready to receive GENUINE guidance and are committed to self work, want to grow spiritually and personally, be guided sincerely, then yes, there is a lot to gain from an astrology reading!
Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima
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The Biography of a Beautiful, Courageous Mother
Parent of the Month II (May 2015): LATE MRS. MAYA CHHEDA
Today: 14th May, is my Late Mom’s birthday – Mrs. Maya Chheda. ‘My Parent of the Month’ Series will be incomplete without her mention. I will like to dedicate this post to her with the intention that it will reach her wherever she is. I believe that she did a lot more for others than she received. I intend that with this post, her soul ‘hears’ that she is valued, loved, cared for, and MISSED by many of us even now; that I owe her my life and I Thank her for all the goodness that she instilled in my sister and me in early years. She passed away at an early age of 33 years and I missed out on learning a lot more things from her.
Today I was working at my laptop when suddenly my daughter began singing – “Happy Birthday to you…” Oblivious in my work, I asked her whose birthday was it? She ignored my question and continued singing in the end addressing it to her grandma (my mom). I was thrilled! :)
MOM’S BACKGROUND
Mom was born in a large family of 10 children. She was the last of them all and sadly for her, she didn’t get a chance to even see her dad. Her father passed away when she was yet to be born.
The growing years for all the children including her were filled up numerous hardships. Her mom (my grandma) had to financially support the family and also look after so many children. Even though grandma was physically present, she was emotionally missing from mom’s life. Mom was brilliant in academics and she received support from her mom and siblings to study. She was about to finish her Doctorate but did not end up giving the very last paper!
In her own life, mom had considerable financial struggles while she brought us up. She did the best in giving us the love and support she could. There were times of severe financial difficulty and I heard from my elders that she would not eat a single slice of fruit because she would save them to give it to my sister and me.
From the vague memory that I have of my mom, I remember that she would have us recite religious prayers before sleeping, from a very young age. Those values which she gave me in the first years of life, did remain with me and I can say that they came to my ‘rescue’ in my dark times. It helped me immensely to have faith in God and believe in praying.
“Wherever you are Mom, I want to Thank You for embedding religious and moral values in me at a very early age and giving us all the care and love you did. We cherish that and love you”.
Below are heart-felt shares from some of her family members:
NIECE
“I loved her a lot. She was very intelligent and religious. She had studied Jain religion in deep. She was an expert in cooking and her pani puri was the world’s best. I was very fond of her. She was my ideal and I always wanted to be like her. Your Mom always believed in equality between girl and boy. She never approved of gender bias and clearly corrected those who discriminate between their son and daughter. I still remember her saying that one should give equal love to all children. I am going to feel her loss all my life”.
BROTHER-IN-LAW
“As her name suggests, MAYA, she was full of ‘love’. She was like a sister to me. She helped her sister (my wife) to get married in spite of her partial disability. She put an ad in Mumbai Samachar newspaper. Because of Sister Maya’s help, today I have a wonderful wife and daughter.
She was the most beautiful person in the family by looks and by heart. She would treat guests as God and her sacrifice and love for the family was unmatching. She has helped my wife in many ways. When our apartment was getting painted for 9 days, she took my wife – her elder sister to her home forcibly because she knew her sister had allergy to paint. And in those 9 days of stay, even though Sister Maya had her own difficulties, she treated my wife (her elder sister) excellent.
We all miss her a lot. Maybe God had a plan to have her meet her father in heaven and hence took her away from us so early. She has been a blessing and she has left behind 2 beautiful Angel Daughters. May God Bless her and Keep her united with all family members here and in heaven”.
DAUGHTERS
We mutually remember that Mom used to knit sweaters for us. She was super talented. And she always made our birthdays special by making THREE cakes for us. I clearly remember one of the Strawberry or Pink cake that she had made. It used to be Chocolate, Strawberry, and maybe Pineapple. We know that Mom loved us a lot and did many special things for us.
I remember when I would go down to play without shoes and get hurt with nails from the playground or the times when mom would call us back home. She also taught us to help in the kitchen from young age as often her health would not be good.
“Mom I always bake cake for your grand-daughter’s birthday and she loves it. If you were here today, I would bake THREE cakes for You! I trust that you are well wherever you are and may you celebrate that life with Love and Joy You were a very courageous person and you have passed that on to us. Thank You Mom for everything!”
SISTER
Maya was extremely talented and affectionate by nature. She was good looking, independent, and smart. – She was very fond of keeping a beautiful, neat, and tidy home. Her interests and talents included cooking, stitching, and socializing. She enjoyed inviting people and was loved by her entire family because of her loving and generous nature. She had wonderful handwriting too. She loved her daughters immensely; even though she was strict with them in her discipline rarely have I seen a mother who loves her children so deeply. I still resent the fact that she didn’t complete her doctorate and that she struggled a lot with her kids in the apartment she lived in. I always remember her sharing her wish to come to USA. Whatever I say about her will be less. She left behind a lot of memories in our hearts. Her sudden loss is a wound that cannot be healed.
SISTER II
If I have to sum up in just few words, I can say that Maya was my best friend.
When we were young we shared the same mattress to sleep together, knowing that we had a highly modest upbringing. We laughed, cried, fought, and confided in each other. Many a times she fought with entire family for me! She was the only one I could speak out my heart to about some things that I could not share with anyone else. I think I was v.protective about her. I miss her immensely!———
Thank You everyone for reading this article and for blessing her soul :) It is easier to write about others than to write about someone of your own.
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~Simple but highly powerful ways to show love~
Tip of the Day:
Show your children how much you love your spouse in ways other than just words and physical touch. Teach them how to serve each other by doing something that you may not like but yet do to give comfort or show love to your partner. Life is not all rosy and romantic, show love in your day to day routines.
What do children learn by observing such actions?
- The importance of sometimes putting others’ need before theirs
- Teaches them practical / realistic ways to show love which will help their relationships later in life
- Gives them a sense of security and love in the family
- Teaches them to share responsibility
- Teaches them to respect others and others’ needs
Real life Example:
Lately my husband has been cooking some difficult dishes. Those that typically ONLY women cook and which are totally out of his comfort zone like Dudhi (lauki or bottle gourd) vegetable, cabbage curry. More so, he has been rolling and roasting chapatis (Indian flat bread) which is not only tough for any newbie but also highly uncommon for men to do. Maybe 1% of Indian men (non-chefs) do it.
Yet, he does it with a lot of joy. His purpose is to give me my extra free fun time or my own time. Other ways we show love and our union to each other is by playing silly games like running around tagging each other, making funny faces, water splash challenges, giving massages, making food of each others’ liking, giving each other a day or evening to utilize the way we individually want, sharing daughter’s responsibilities like brushing teeth, pick and drop, meal care, and so on.
More than anything, the joy my daughter gets to see us do these things for each other is phenomenal. The energy eventually spreads.. Now at 4 years, she wants to make Tea and Sandwiches for dad 3 times a week and that too from step 1st to end.
Please do not use this post as a WEAPON against your husband. lol but by all means Share it with them! :D Do not demand or command what they SHOULD do. There are several options in cooking or besides cooking, there are many things around the home that can be done together. The whole idea is to work together for fun. It could be doing groceries together, shopping, cleaning at home together, setting the table together… anything within each one’s comfort zone.
~Working together in one great way to bond a family, experience love and produce lots of joyful energy at home~
Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/marriageastrology/
* Note – all my articles are originally written by me. Find lots more info on my Facebook Page – Parenting Booth: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-Booth/838254032904102
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Great Myths & Misconceptions of Astrology. Things you probably never knew!
Last week, when I created my Astrology Study Group on facebook, 27 people wrote to me, asking me to look at their or their kids’ or husbands’ charts. I have been that person who has always been attracted to Astrology even though my family never depicted that. In terms of Astrology, my passion is to help people understand the TRUE MEANING AND PURPOSE OF ASTROLOGY. We are highly MISGUIDED in our knowledge and use of Astrology. There is so much I can say about this. Truly! and some of it, I have explained in my video at the end of this article. Do hear the video, there is lots of great information on Astrology in it. Below are some MISCONCEPTIONS we have on Astrology.
When predictions fail, we doubt astrology
If you have a bad experience with a doctor, do you stop believing in the field of medicine or do you simply change your doctor?Astrology is a very accurate and ancient science. It is also a highly complicated subject to understand. It is said that one can never learn astrology in one birth, there are so many complex calculations to be done that only 1% of the world’s population could ‘Master’ this skill. In fact, Astrology is more the work of a Spiritual Soul than that of someone who has learnt it. Hence, when predictions fail, when astrologers tell you things that do not come true, it does not mean that Astrology is wrong. It only means that the Astrologer is not well-equipped.
Astrology is all about Predictions
False! Predictions are possible in Astrology, but Astrology is so much more about diagnosing the problem areas of one’s life, analyzing the client’s strengths and empowering clients to focus their energies on their strengths. Unfortunately, today’s astrologers have made this subject very ‘fancy’ and ‘commercial’ by projecting it as a Science of Prediction. Hear my video to understand this better.
Astrology can help change your future
There are no real remedies to change our luck. As described in astrology, luck is nothing but accumulated karma – both good and bad and there are only 2 ways around it: face it with pain or face it in a spiritual manner. Gem stones are one of the biggest myths. Astrologers direct clients to gemstones mostly for commercial reasons OR due to the lack of true knowledge. Take a logical approach to this – if gemstones could truly dissolve your problems or make them easier, then all of the world’s problems could easily be solved or reduced. The truth is that there is a big psychological ‘trick’ here. We start BELIEVING that gemstones will help which increases our mental strength and start to attract better things. Gemstones, havans, pujas, etc., are not mentioned in ancient astrology as ‘problem-solvers’. To improve our luck, we must face our probems and by live a ‘satvik’ life: serve the needy, be kind by thought and deed, stop eating animals, work on our anger, greed and pride, meditate, use techniques like reiki and life-coaching to emotionally heal yourselves and so on.
Forecasts are true
There is no such thing as the forecasts you read in newspapers. It was created by someone and sustained by other astrologers to ‘hook’ us to their readings and services. Again, apply some logic here: there are BILLIONS of people on this earth, how can 12 zodiac signs and forecasts based on them apply to billions of people?! Trust that original astrology has no place for or description of daily / monthly forecasts like the way it has been projected to us for so many years. For once, read the forecast of another sun sign and find it to be true for yourself! Again, there is a psychological element here: we want to hear something ‘good’ or ‘fear based predictions’ attract us and no matter what is said, our mind finds a way to apply it to our life.
Sun Signs describe your personality
No two people are alike on this planet and hence, no two horoscopes! 12 sun signs cannot describe the personality of billions of people. Astrology analyzes our personality from so many factors: The rising sign in our horoscope, our moon and sun sign, the constellations and so on. It is a long list! Describing personality based on sun signs is just a ‘fancy’ thing.
Mangal Dosh(a) or Manglik is the worst thing to have in a chart
In reality, Mangal Dosh means only this: This person is highly ambitious and has an insatiable drive to contribute to the world. Hence, this person focuses less on family life, has more problems in personal family life but is going to be an achiever, a very successful person in society. This also shows a strong athletic drive, angry or impulsive nature in earlier years of life especially before 35 years. It is good for a Manglik to marry a Manglik for they can understand each other’s passionate nature easily but it is a myth that when a non-Manglik marries a Manglik, it threatens their life. A person with Saturn placed in or influencing the 7th house may also marry a manglik as Saturn is opposite of Mars and so helps to tone down the impulsive, angry nature of mars.Mangal dosh is considered when Mars in placed in certain houses like 2nd, 4th, 7th, 8th, 12th and is a ‘hot’ concept in India. Many people reject marriage proposals to those who have manglik dosh. Many astrologers believe this too.
Saturn is the worst planet and Sade Sati the worst time period
Contrary, Saturn is the best for polishing out our loose ends into a wise, successful person. Yes, it teaches lessons harshly but it always IMPROVES us in some way. Sade Sati does bring hardships and the extent of hardships depends on Saturn’s position in one’s chart and on the overall horoscope of a person. That period of life can make someone go from rags to riches or riches to rags. The toughest time of Sade Sati is the 2.5 years when Saturn sustains itself on the moon. Don’t fear Saturn, be happy that it strikes to teach and polish us.
Astrology works only if you believe in it
False! The planets or combinations in our chart continue to influence our life even if we reject the notion of astrology. However, this influence lasts only as long as our focus is a lot on the material side of life. The moment we start meditating and what I call ‘spiritualizing’ regularly, we start breaking the bonds of our karma. Remember religion is following a certain faith while spirituality is working towards self-realization and reaching the purest state of the soul.
We are doomed to the life written in our chart
Nope! Astrology clearly states that we write our destiny by our thoughts, beliefs and actions and since we create it, we have full control to ‘change’ it as well.
Kaal Sarp Yog is true
In astrology, yog means ‘combination’. There is no such thing as kaal sarp yog. If an astrologer says that you have this yog, change the astrologer.
Gun Milan is great to test compatibility.
In Indian astrology, 2 charts are matched to test on 36 points. It is assumed that the more the points meet, the better the compatibility. This is a great myth! Gun milan can tell you very little of how well you will settle with your partner in the marriage. There are other very important methods to test compatibility.
All Astrology is the same. Astrology is just one large subject with no branches
False! Linda Goodman is a classic example of Western Astrology which is very different from Indian, Vedic Astrology. China and Korea have their own astrology as well. It seems that each culture has some form of astrology which validates the truth in it but astrology notes in India date back to as early as 9th Century B.C. or even before!
Kundlis or Horoscopes can tell only certain broad things about us
False. Except for when you wake up, gargle and drink tea, your chart can sketch every minute crease on your skin. This means that your chart can tell your likes, dislikes, relationship with siblings, hidden desires, secrets, about your parents, friend circle, no. of spouses, nature of the spouses, directions you are likely to live in, passions and careers, school studies and so on.. Hence, be wary of sharing your birth chart the way in which you share news about your shopping.
A good astrologer will tell me about my life-span and warn me about accidents / all negative events in my life
False! A good, genuine, knowledgeable astrologer will NEVER mention these life-events to any client. Astrology has not given the RIGHTS to an astrologer to tell a person when they will die or something horrible will happen. Never!
It is hurtful to read posts of people who said the astrologer told them that they will no good or that they will meet a horrible accident in a few years, etc. Well, astrology was made to EMPOWER people, to give them true direction and hope and to believe that there is GOOD in every person and in everyone’s life. Ethically, astrologers are supposed to focus only on the GOOD and even if some negative news were to be shared it for the good of the client, it must be put in a way that the person feels POSITIVE and HOPEFUL.
Please share this information with others. Hear my videos. My website www.rimadesai.org
Rima Desai's: Scuba Diving into the Mind's Pool 