by TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE-COACH RIMA DESAI
Tag Archives: relationships
KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE!
Do you find it hard to express your love to your loved ones? This post is for you!
Isn’t it amazing to have good friends in our life, no matter how far they are! I was having this heart to heart conversation with a very close friend and discovered something new about her!
Expressing OUR LOVE for our partner / spouse is crucial in any stage of the relationship. Taking each other for granted in known or unconscious ways, is often what distances or breaks a relationship.
Here are some quick tips to keep the romance bursting in your LOVE LIFE. Pick whatever suits you best. These are just some suggestions. Tweek them as you like, pick 1 or 2 that suits you best or use them all!
– SAY IT WITH FLOWERS: Yes, flowers are awesome and they are not just a lady’s pal. Flowers can refresh a relationship and a stressful day. Once you keep the stress away, lots of smile are coming you way 😁
– SURPRISE THEM: Got a surprise dinner planned or an outing to their favorite place or maybe even a small getaway? For most people, it leads straight to the heart!
– MAKE A NOTE: Post its or a chalk board, whatever you have to simply write ” I LOVE YOU” or “YOU MEAN THE WORLD” is a simple but powerful way to reignite some magic.
– GET A GIFT: Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, unless of course🤪 your partner is explicit about it. Remember, men love gifts too. A wallet, a pen, coasters, cuff lings, a shirt, their favorite coffee, a beer mug, call it a day!
– THE SOUND OF MUSIC: Music has healing powers. Get to know their favorite songs, bands or musicians and treat them for a at home concert (play their fav music), date a concert (part of surprises maybe?) or buy them the perfect play in the car playlist. Maybe add some dancing to a musical, romantic day.
– CARDS, CARS, OURS! – Give them a greeting card on their bday, when they are unwell or to thank them for their lovely gestures. Go for a drive in the car (You drive them, give them a break!) and spend time ALONE (let them know, you planned alone time just for them!).
– COOK IT UP: Take a day to COOK ONLY THEIR FAVORITE FOOD. Rest of the family can play along at least for a day??!
– There are many other ways to express love. Get creative. Getting too busy with our in laws, children, work, routine, etc. can keep us from remembering that we must invest time, energy and love in our relationship for it to continue to thrive!
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WOMEN, GOSSIP & A NO MAN’S LAND
WHAT HAPPENS TYPICALLY WHEN WOMEN MEET? HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS HUMOROUS, HONEST READ
Much of the essence of a woman comes from her talking. Imagine if we had a ‘Women Silence Day’ around the world, the noise pollution could remarkably drop. Be it that way for a month and men wouldn’t complain of ear infections… Ha ha.
The yummy recipes and food, cosmetics & beauty, home, children & pregnancy, health & exercise, men and more are the forever hottest topics among us ladies. We can be rightfully titled as the ‘liveliest walky talky magazines’ on this planet.
Going into details comes naturally to most of us. A new lipstick brand would be discussed for ten minutes: the shades, the shade number, the price and all possible stores you could find it on. The new clothes store on the block has been dissected to the core: all the brand names available, from where the clothes are imported and much more. We are the dictionary to what happens in homes, in stores and in town. Don’t you think more women than men should be hired as marketing heads?!
The all round counseling center is found among the ladies’ circle. You can bank your luck for getting tips on gardening, staying fit and healthy, making the best of your kitchen, getting your hairstyle right and running a home bank.
Overhear a conversation and you are bound to hear us share and support each other for the smallest of concerns: “I don’t understand why my kid doesn’t drink milk?” “I went berserk finding my car keys yesterday.” “You’ll be fine, don’t worry” and “I am just round the corner whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.” That reminds me not to forget the free of cost water resource that lies within us.
The ‘teary’ seasons are absolutely unpredictable for more than few men. It is definitely more difficult than hiking Mount Kilimanjaro or swimming Lake Victoria! “She was perfectly fine a minute ago; I wonder what tore her down!” Is that how men feel very often? Ha ha. I can’t help but laugh.
The fragile, ‘touch me not’ silk threaded girl friend takes a 360 degree alteration into a ‘dare you mess with me’ wife! The woman, who is full of mercy and sympathy for the neighbor’s dog and for your friend’s husband, is cruelly unkind with you. What a pity! “It is more difficult to tackle a wife than tackling a rotten boss”… I can imagine that being the punch line for an ‘All Men Magazine.’ The problem is most often men are busily entangled into our beauty and when it’s time for duty (take over the good husband role), you fail miserably. Men who have mastered ‘what women want’ are the ones with the kingly crowns.
Keeping aside the teary sessions, women don’t blank out comedy shows from their fun times. I haven’t seen a group of women depart without a light laughter or a heart filled smile.
“Did you notice our boss’s new hairstyle? He looks so funny!” says Aisha to Yesta. “Yes, looks like he has returned from some crazy ‘Adam found Eve’ on an island episode.” I have also known of girls who whistle to the hunk passing by. I’d be one of them in fact!
I was in the 5th grade (10 years old) when the boy in class called me ‘STUPID,’ my reaction was pretty much programmed to me and unexpected to him – I turned around and slapped him. Ha ha. The shock left him in great silence, the teacher never found out!
Women are not unpredictable; men must know where to dig, when and how… Haha.
Well, I hope you had some fun reading this humorous article. Women are not that bad after all. The warmth of the Venus and the shield of the Mars, both are required in this world.
Also read: STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR MOMS
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HIGH IMPACT STRESS REDUCTION – Step by Step Tutorial by Coach Rima Desai
In this article, I share with you a high impact, highly effective technique to reduce your daily stress. These techniques are quick and easy. They can be practiced on the go – in the shower, at the traffic light, before bed, upon waking up or anytime in the day when you have just 2 minutes. Yes, in just 2 minutes of your day you can transform how your mind and body feels! Read on…
It was the summer of 1997, I was 16 years young, helping an infant fall asleep. The mom was out on a walk and her infant boy woke up in his sleep, I put him on my shoulders, tapped him gently and soothed him back to sleep. After 20 years, I still remember that feeling because it was ‘paradise’ – the sense of fulfillment I got from having a baby in my arms. All I wanted to be then, was a Mom! That dream came true in 2009 when I realized I had a baby growing in my womb.
It feels amazing to be a Mom, from conception to delivery and through the growing years. What we do not know before conception though, is the forever ‘Mommy Stress’ that is to follow. The stress is not just the fact of having kid/s to care for in so many ways, but the family dynamics, the body dynamics, lack of time for self-care and lack of support that comes with it. We are largely still a traditional society. We do not get the freedom to take down time, breathe, live, love and laugh like we would before we were a mom or a wife.
I am a practicing Life-Coach for Women since 2 years now and my core clientele is MOMS. I teach moms from across the world, life-skills and coping strategies to manage, reduce, alleviate stress, depression, anxiety and the constant sense of ‘overwhelm’ that prevails through our life years. All of my clients learn these powerful 2 minute techniques to quickly alleviate stress and feel a deep sense of calm. This is commonly known as ‘Grounding’ or ‘Centering’ in USA. I have received excellent feedback from my clients with my grounding techniques.
WHAT DOES ‘GROUNDING’ MEAN?
Understanding physiology helps add benefit to an activity. Grounding is a technique to connect back to the ‘ground’ or ‘Earth’. We are made of 5 elements: air, water, earth, fire and ethers. Our feelings are held in the heart chakra area in the center of our chest. We process our thoughts in the brain – which is away from the ground/earth. When we are stressed, we are essentially engaged in our ‘thoughts’ or ‘feelings’ – something that is more ‘airy’ in nature or in other words we are moving into our abstract, etheric body, away from the grounding reality of our biological self. The more stressed we get, the deeper we dive into the air, floating element which can give rise to feelings of insecurity, anxieties, worry, feeling unsafe, etc.
By grounding ourselves, we bring our attention back to the physical body, reconnect with the Earth we live on and that brings a sense of security and calm. It also helps us stay in the ‘HERE and NOW’ as vs. in the “What Was” or “What ifs”.
BENEFITS OF GROUNDING
- Immediate stress reduction
- Higher frustration tolerance
- A sense of emotional calm and security
- Better emotional immunity
- Direct impact on health and your relationships
- Increased focus at work
- Being more ‘present’ for your family
- Increased self-confidence
- Great technique to be used in depression, anxiety
- Excellent technique for high stress situations like interviews, exams, difficult situations, etc.
HOW TO GROUND YOURSELF
You need 2 to 4 minutes of your time. If you have more time, you can use upto 10 minutes as well but 2 minutes is enough too. Step 1 to 5 is the shortest grounding technique you can apply. You may continue if you have more time.
- Sit up or stand as straight as you, this helps move energy in a flow, through your central nervous system, creating circulation movements required for healing (that’s why we sit up straight during meditations or lie on our backs).
- Close your eyes
- Take your mind to your breath and notice how you are inhaling and exhaling. Feel the calm in the rhythm
- If there are any thoughts coming to your mind, allow them to pass like passing clouds
- Take your mind to your feet and deeply feel the textures around your feet
- Imagine your worries, thoughts, feelings are like extra clothes on you like a jacket or a robe. Remove the robe/jacket and put it away. You can also imagine your stress to be like falling leaves or rocks that you throw away.
- Bring your mind back your breathing. As you breathe out, imagine releasing all your uncomfortable feelings, fears, worries, feelings of being stuck, sad, angry or burdened and you breathe in, imagine taking in confidence, love, harmony, joy and a sense of safety.
- You may also imagine breathing in your favorite colors for that day in the form of rays or ribbons to add to a sense of comfort and calmness.
- Add your own creativity with a positive focus. E.g.: You may add shimmer around you, rays of white light falling above you.
- There are deeper levels of grounding which you can dive into. HEAR MY SHORT VIDEO TUTORIAL.
HOW OFTEN SHOULD WE GROUND OURSELVES?
Did you know that we are exposed to constant stimulation in so many ways in today’s world. Stimulation means the use of our 5 senses to take in information. We are constantly hearing sounds, seeing movements, feeling textures in the real and reel world combined. We are also unknowingly smelling subtle fragrances and eating at intervals which keeps our sense organs ‘heightened’. Since the sense organs are the gateway to our MIND (emotional body processing), soothing our sense organs. We also take in upto 75,000 thoughts in a day!
By now it must be easy for you to answer this question. We must ground ourselves DAILY, preferably twice or 3ce a day. After all it is a 2 minute activity.
YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ACTIVITY
Please share your thoughts and experience with this activity. I have seen massive changes in my clients with this simple, highly effective technique. I want you to know that small changes can create big impact. There is one KEY word here: CONSISTENCY. You cannot see an impact by doing this once or twice or without continuous commitment. If we cannot commit 2 minutes to ourselves daily, we are missing out on LIFE. We are losing ourselves to what matters most – our stability, our health, our family, our life!
ALSO READ: HOW TO MAKE PARENTING EASY
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Twins in the Whispers of History
Spiritual Leaders in the human world have been raving about the ‘Golden Age’ which started in 2012. All that talk about the earth to be destroyed was actually about the new phase we were to jump on, also called as the ‘Ascension’.
There are some very trans-formative, powerful shifts happening on earth given this much needed spiritual uproar. Twin Flames and all the mysterious excitement around it is one of them. There are truly not many Twin Flames ascending as human selves in close proximity. Those that are, are lucky, are very ‘old souls’ and carry the wisdom that will play a key part in keeping earth ‘alive’ in the coming generations.
While it is easy to confuse a Soul Mate or Karmic Bond with a Twin Flame relationship, a Twin Flame alone can truly mark that difference. In one word it is a SACRED relationship, two souls embodied into ONE. Then that ONE SOUL is given two bodies, one given by the Universe where Souls are bonded for the deepest trans formative exercises of highest self-actualization, almost as close to Godliness as it can get.
Twin Flames (TF) have very strong whirlpool like attraction and affection towards one another. They may be perfect strangers when they meet but the connection is the peak of a deja vu unexplained. That attraction is so hard to resist that like same poles of a magnet, they crave to be together and yet repel each other very quickly.
Twin Flames often look alike when put together and have exactly same or very identical habits, virtues, personality, upbringing, experiences in life, family structures, religious backgrounds and careers. They live what is called as PARALLEL LIVES. This means that what one Twin does, immediately and directly impacts another twin even without any interaction or physical proximity. They may be in two different continents or planets, the energetic power is so intense and inter-coiled that their experiences become magnetic. The ways in which they or their lives are stark antonyms, highlights areas of growth.
In this body, my TF journey started a handful of years ago, in this soul, it started a handful of lifetimes ago. However, this post I do not desire to define more of what a TF is but rather just to ‘express’ who I am, why I am so honored to be where I am in life. The thread of life, as a gift that my TF gave me in the deepest darkest hours of chaos, without ever even physically being present, in communion or his consciousness, is the most invaluable gift my soul has and will ever cherish. Read on…
…I personally believe that Krishna-Radha are the perfect TWIN FLAME examples. Krishna is the highest revered Hindu God and Radha was his eternal love. Krishna’s wife was not known in history but Radha continues to be worshiped and their UNCONDITIONAL bond has set the stone for inspiration for generations. Despite his marriage, his true communion was with Radha, an attraction they both could not resist and was also cherished by humanity at a time when virtues of only one physical bond was an all or nothing phenomenon.
It is the highest soul level relationship one can be in and I feel honored to experience all of it’s major highs and deep lows. This roller coaster relationship is nothing and never short on spiritual Drama as the Universe weaves out it’s yarns seamlessly with no particular direction except one – constant and MANDATORY FORWARD motion IN INTENSE SELF ACTUALIZATION.
A TF relationship forces one to constantly face fears, Insecurities, emotional patterns and spiritual accountability without being physically too proximate to one’s TWIN or too far apart to be able to escape it.
How I have evolved with this Sacred Union is beyond description but people witness that charm and strength. And while I have not conversed with my Twin in exactly 2 years now, we have never been apart in Unison for a single moment. We hear each other’s thoughts, feel each other’s happiness and pain and dance together I’m higher dimensions of existence.
And as the soul seeks more evolution, today I evolved further up digging out deeper fears and learning to be more vulnerable than ever before, even walking rt front of my Twin’s Space without ever knowing if an interaction would be possible or unlikely.
When I met my twin for the first time, I had no clue but life began to stir up all the questions and chaos which I had suppressed within me for ages. Who am I, why am I living a subdued life, defining it with a victim’s eye and allowing it to be a passive experience. I had given in to the ‘have to live’ and ‘have to somehow get through’ with the intense pain. Grief was my word of the day for several years but the more I encountered my Twin, the more it mirrored to me the self-identity I was missing, an invisible scar that sketched out as a 100 broken mirrors poking their sharp edges into a marriage that was loveless, broken, abusive and a life I had become a slave to.
And so I moved, energetically, worked emotionally and grew into something I would have never believed I could. An strong, independent woman leading the light for others now.
Manifestation after all is super easy and that’s why so hard as it requires breaking all boundaries with Vulnerability and learning to stay in the Unpredictability of Life. ~Coach Rima Desai
While Twins go back several life times in history and I have seen so many of those clearly, they THRIVE only by mastering the HERE and NOW – Zero strings attached. No past, no future and in that we continue to be reborn limitless times and each nano second is a new birth of oneself and a MIRROR to one’s TWIN. ~ Rima Desai
And so goes for all Twins reincarnating on Earth with this time of Ascension and Transformation. Remember Krishna-Radha!
You may also like THIS ARTICLE
Rima’s website
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The Biography of a Devoted Father
This post and copyrights belong to Rima Desai
Parent of the month: Feb 2015, Part II
MR. PRADIP UNADKAT
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”. Our parent today is an exemplary hero who adds breath to this proverb. Wading through the worst tides of life at an early phase of parenting, he was convinced that nothing took precedence over the well-being of his children.
Let us welcome Mr. Pradip Unadkat on our platform today as we celebrate his 59th Birthday on Feb. 27
Mr. Unadkat was born in Geita city of Tanzania country, East Africa. He grew up in Katunguru but the lack of finances refrained his education. With a stone on his heart, he began traveling to Mwanza daily to fetch money through work. Later he moved there permanently. At the age where other teens were talking fun and style, Mr. Unadkat had started full time work and with his blood and sweat, he built his business.
Wishing you many more years of great health and happiness from Parenting Booth
A message from his son: Vineet Unadkat
My mother fell ill when we were very young. I was 8 years and my sister was 4 when she passed away. It was the darkest phase of our lives. Only someone who has lost a life-partner and a mother that early can understand the pain we all went through. Now that I am a parent, I can understand with more depth how dad must have endured the situation. I still remember the things he would do to make us happy. He did everything to ensure we don’t miss mom.
In fact, dad wanted to remain single but he realized that we both needed the love and care of a mother. Hence, for us, he remarried. This was very helpful to us because mom helped us learn moral values, be well mannered and she gave us the strength to fight against all odds. I can’t imagine growing up without her! Both Chandni and me are here today with mom’s unconditional love and support for all of us. Thank You dad for taking that step for us!
Dad also had to go through considerable financial hardships. Several nights he stayed up late to complete his work so that he could get his share of money to send us to school. It was only through his dedicated hard work that we completed our studies.
To fetch me a brighter future, he had to send me to another city for school and college studies. I was 15. This was the toughest decision on dad. Having lost his first wife, and then sending me away for studies was like another hollow at home but dad was tough as a rock. He knew he had to do whatever was needed for my progress. I lived with my uncle. It was only later that I realized dad and my mom had a play in large part to keeping up with my studies. For years, dad and mom sent several items to Uncle, including Pickles they made and Papad (thin, crispy lentil tortillas), in a way to repay what they owe.
If you know the Indian culture, pickles and papad are a very important part of our daily meals and hence considered a good trade. Making either of them is a tedious task.
Special Qualities of Dad:
- Dad is the most helpful and generous person I know. He has dedicated his life to helping and serving others. He has helped several people in small and big ways. Mwanza is a closely-knit Indian community. Dad is one of the strongest pillars for others during their personal and during community’s cultural events. He attends to the guests, helps in serving food, and is also there to volunteer during medical trips or emergencies. Several times dad has left behind his work to help and serve others.
- Even though dad’s position was not financially strong to get my sister and me through our studies, he worked a lot more and ensured we complete our education. No words can express my gratitude for it.
- Dad is extremely forgiving by nature. Even if someone was mean, rude or did something very wrong, yet he would forget, forgive, and be helpful to that person.
“Dad from you I have learnt to be Patient. You have taught me that we will always get what we deserve and that everyone has to pay the price of his or her Karmas. Hence, I learnt from you to do good to others no matter what they do to me and as a result, ‘goodness’ will come back to me. I have applied this principle in my life and seen it work. You are amazing dad. I love you and I am proud to be your son! I am thankful to You and Mom for everything that you’ll have done for us.”
A message from his daughter: Chandni Unadkat
When I was done with my school, I wanted to work but during those times, in my family girls weren’t allowed to work. Unlike other dads, my dad stood up for me, against the social norm and allowed me to work. He gave me the strength and became the biggest support of my life. In fact, due to dad’s support, I was able to contribute to the family in times of need, esp. when my brother was still struggling and trying to settle in USA. Every step of the way, my Dad has supported me, whether in my job or with the choice of my life partner. I was 4 when my mum passed away of cancer. These were the darkest days of dad’s life. Dad’s decision to remarry was tough for him but he did it selflessly, just for us. Being a girl and so young, he did not want me to be without a mother and because of that I feel my dad is a Hero. “I love you Dad. You are my Hero, my best friend and God’s gift to me! I am blessed to have such wonderful parents in my life. Mom and You make our lives complete.”
Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/biographyofadedicatedparent/
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~Simple but highly powerful ways to show love~
Tip of the Day:
Show your children how much you love your spouse in ways other than just words and physical touch. Teach them how to serve each other by doing something that you may not like but yet do to give comfort or show love to your partner. Life is not all rosy and romantic, show love in your day to day routines.
What do children learn by observing such actions?
- The importance of sometimes putting others’ need before theirs
- Teaches them practical / realistic ways to show love which will help their relationships later in life
- Gives them a sense of security and love in the family
- Teaches them to share responsibility
- Teaches them to respect others and others’ needs
Real life Example:
Lately my husband has been cooking some difficult dishes. Those that typically ONLY women cook and which are totally out of his comfort zone like Dudhi (lauki or bottle gourd) vegetable, cabbage curry. More so, he has been rolling and roasting chapatis (Indian flat bread) which is not only tough for any newbie but also highly uncommon for men to do. Maybe 1% of Indian men (non-chefs) do it.
Yet, he does it with a lot of joy. His purpose is to give me my extra free fun time or my own time. Other ways we show love and our union to each other is by playing silly games like running around tagging each other, making funny faces, water splash challenges, giving massages, making food of each others’ liking, giving each other a day or evening to utilize the way we individually want, sharing daughter’s responsibilities like brushing teeth, pick and drop, meal care, and so on.
More than anything, the joy my daughter gets to see us do these things for each other is phenomenal. The energy eventually spreads.. Now at 4 years, she wants to make Tea and Sandwiches for dad 3 times a week and that too from step 1st to end.
Please do not use this post as a WEAPON against your husband. lol but by all means Share it with them! :D Do not demand or command what they SHOULD do. There are several options in cooking or besides cooking, there are many things around the home that can be done together. The whole idea is to work together for fun. It could be doing groceries together, shopping, cleaning at home together, setting the table together… anything within each one’s comfort zone.
~Working together in one great way to bond a family, experience love and produce lots of joyful energy at home~
Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/marriageastrology/
* Note – all my articles are originally written by me. Find lots more info on my Facebook Page – Parenting Booth: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-Booth/838254032904102
Rima Desai's: Scuba Diving into the Mind's Pool 