PARENTING

THE SIBLING RIVALRY REVOLVER

5 primary reasons for sibling rivalry:

Gain your attention:Do your kids miss getting ‘real’ emotional care and time from you? If they do, boom, sibling rivalry is a SYMPTOM to that, not a problem!
Stress at home:Getting along is an emotional problem. If there is emotional instability at home, this is one way it will show up. Are you or your kids overwhelmed (we call it stress) or depressed?
Model Adults:Kids often solve problems in the way they view adults solve problems. Do you resort to yelling, back talking, arguing with the other adults in your life. If either of the adult does this at home, why blame the kids?
Sense your energy: Do you feel life is being ‘UNFAIR’ to you? If it is, your kids are only REFLECTING or MIRRORING your feelings!
The Bully:Is one kid ‘honestly’ a bully to the other? Is one smarter, more controlling or stronger in some way and overpowers the other? OR do you often ask the ‘older’ child to ‘give in’? If you do, it is 100% unfair to the older child!Solutions:

1. 1st recognise the true reason and root cause. Don’t jump to solutions until you have done proper diagnosis.

Ask the kids what do they miss from you – the parents and what do they think is the reason for the rivalry?

Allow them to solve their problems. Intervene only in situations of physical or emotional harm or any emergencies.

Explain to them with real life people on how pappa and mumma show love differently and how the kids themselves are different with pappa and mumma. Use story books to explain how no two people in the world are alike, not even twins.

Do a reality check, in your heart do you favor or admire one of your child over the other? It is ok if you do, that is called being HUMAN. However, be true about that in your heart and see if you recognise any objective reason for your discretion? Is one of the child more like you or more co-operative?
Remedy your ‘unfair’ behaviors. If you have overloaded the older child with responsibilities and always or often asking the older child to make compromises and give in while you feel ‘bad’ for the younger child, you are responsible for the older child’s hatred and bully behavior towards the younger child. How fair are you being truly? It is never too late to make changes

Talk to other parents, you may get some wonderful sugggestions.

Ask kids for the solutions. They are the best problem solvers, ask each of them separately and then together, what would they do if they were the parents? Share your own childhood stories and be real. Did you find solutions to sibling rivalry with your siblings or you didn’t. Why did you not find solutions? Reflect on your own life and see what you can find.

Does one child gain more approval and appreciation from the family over another? Is it because one is fat, the other is not, one is fair or smarter or more chirpy personality? Also, how severe is the rivalry. Do they hate each other outright or it is a love-hate or love-fight-love relationship? Seek professional help from a child counselor or psychologist when you just can’t find a way out.

Hope this helps. <3

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Hiren Hariani ~ October 2015

~ This is a post by Rima Desai. All copyrights reserved. You may also read this post on my fb page: ParentingBooth: https://www.facebook.com/parentingbooth ~

Today, Atharv wishing his Super Daddy a Super Birthday!

Mom asked me – “What are the 3 best things about daddy?”

I thought and thought like a Great Scientist, yet, I could not think of three great things about daddy.

O, I don’t mean that my daddy is not great. I mean that I cannot list ‘JUST’ three great qualities of daddy because everything about him is so

And I want to tell the world that if they try to mess with me, they should know that I am your son. I will just give them one look:

and I am his Super-son!!!

Hey Super Dad, I also want to tell you that – When it time to glide to the moon and stars, You are my

I feel safe, cuddly and protected in your loving arms.

Did you know that you are a natural

You just know how to make me laugh and giggle. The faces you make, things you say and silly acts you do are so funny. I know you will do anything to get a smile on my face.

I love your Tight, Cozy Hugs Dad

And Your

And it is so much fun to be riding on you “Tik tik tik”

You are ‘THE PERFECT PAPA’ and I am the ‘LUCKIEST’ of all to have the ‘PERFECT PARENTS’.

Love You to the Moon and Back Pappa and Mumma!

-Your Atharv

DADDY, FROM ALL OF US

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Mayur Chheda ~ September 2015

Dearest Dad, on your birthday we wanted you to know that you are

We know that your age is

Well, whatever, we think you are 41 so you are!!

Dad, you are special in so many ways! We love it when you:

– Give us a bath

– Drop us daily to

and the Sundays we spend with you because

You take us

to the MALL

and

Fly in the garden

Today is the day to tell you that we LOVE all the fun things you do with us.

…And Dad… who can be a better

You gets books, chocolates and toys for our stomach!! Ha ha.

You are the greatest!!

(Even though you cannot cook or clean like Mom!!!)

parent of the month

The Biography of a Fearless Parent

~ Copyrights reserved.

Parent of the Month (July 2015): Deepak Chheda: aka ‘BHAISHREE’

“The waves of the sea tide high and low to test the strengths within you. They rise up high to see if you can fly when you cannot swim. They bow down low when they know that you shall glow even through a whole bunch of grey clouds!” ~ Dedicated to Dad by Rima D.

It is tough enough to be a Parent, think of being a Single Parent to two young girls with no real career or earning to begin with. In a NEED TO GET INSPIRED?! Read how this parent fearlessly faced all the challenges that life hunted him with…

Dad was just about to be 34 years when Mom’s sudden demise struck him with immense shock and grief. Then, he had an older daughter at 9 years and me at 6 years. Call it trauma or chaos, he not only had two daughters to care for but also an immense financial burden.

I still remember the day when I was wondering why people all around me are all dressed in white and why they are all crying. What would I understand at 6 years of age? One of the following day, there was an exaggerated silence in our extended living room. Dad was sitting quiet on the 2-3 seater sofa we had – the only furniture that accompanied the long room. Everything seemed empty, not only our hearts, but also our home, and it felt like even the dead living room was crying to be more ‘busy’. I was wearing my white and red two-piece night dress with red hearts on the pockets, beautiful frills. It was my favorite dress. I asked dad – “Where is mom?” He sat there with no response. I can only imagine, how life’s painful demands must have blown upon dad like a loud, commanding trumpet that shakes us from our dearest dream. But he made it through…!

I have seen Dad take heavy loans in an attempt to give us just basic living. We lived in a huge home which was granted by grandpa but besides of that, we literally struggled for even basic clothes or good food. People judged us from the home we had and thought we were rich. We also lived in a suburb that belonged to the elite class since grandpa built his home there and we had cousins that were truly very well off. Our family was socially knit and religiously driven. Hence we had several rituals to attend many times in a month and when all of this is put together, dad had a lot to keep up to: The worry of building his business from scratch, educating his daughters while on a heavy loan, having someone take care of us after school (since school ended by 1pm); get us enough clothes to keep up with the family and religious rituals, have maids to help us with house work – which was always a huge challenge, and a lot more… I remember his tears and worry when his very own close family members wanted to snatch our home and have us come on the streets. Dad had a legal battle to win to save his two daughters from being homeless, I remember that day when, the little child became his parent and said – “It will be okay dad” but inside my heart, I was hurt, scared, in anger. I remember tons of days of darkness, sadness, struggles in our lives where dad had to fight many social, emotional and financial battles…

I don’t think even a 100 pages can suffice for what I would want to express or vent you may say. I can say that no matter what faults others find, I can vouch for what he did right! In spite of massive financial burden and almost no support from outside, he gave us the best education. He put us in the most competitive and expensive school in one of the most elite areas of the prestigious Mumbai City!

That education has today led me to be this person who is writing on this blog, serving the community, and build a personality that can adapt to any cultural backdrop across the world. I haven’t had a problem conversing in English and interacting with the general public across different countries. My School played big role in it!

I am honored to have learnt some amazing things from dad:

Excellent Organizational Skills: Until date, I haven’t met anyone who can beat dad in his organizational skills.
Social Skills: Over the years, I saw dad as very sociable. He was friendly, helpful and was quick to make them feel comfortable and good about themselves.
Hard work and the value of being Responsible: Maybe there are people more hardworking than my dad or maybe there aren’t! I cannot owe him enough to teach me this important value. Dad gave his best swim across the tough tides of life. He never backed from his responsibilities even when he had several strong enemies in his business and life. I witnessed him face them all with great courage.
God-fearing and religious – Dad exposed us to deep religious knowledge of Jainism and its rituals. Sometimes it felt like it was too much for a child but today I cherish those experiences and knowledge. It has imparted great wisdom and strength into me. He believed in God and taught us values like being kind, never eat animals, etc.. By belief in God and by modelling courage, he taught us to be Brave and Optimistic in life.
Skills with Kids: Dad is just super with kids. He did great in having cousins stay overnight, arranging games and activities with them, teaching us in fun yet educational ways, entertaining the younger tots, etc. I subconsciously learnt a lot about playing with kids by watching dad over the years.
Have the Faith: Dad taught without the use of words, that having faith and having an optimistic ‘expectation’ out of Life, always leads us to a ‘good’ place. He always taught me – “Never fear”.
Strong cultural roots: I learnt to interact with elders, be courteous, be rooted to my homeland, to my religion, culture, be curious of other cultures, etc all from dad through his wise advices and by observing him.
Business Skills: I have observed him to be an honest, fierce and powerful businessman.

I have learnt a lot from him and still continue to. No parent is perfect and no parent should be, because all that matters if we are bonded with ‘Love’. Love makes it Perfect.

“Dad I am Honored for all that I have learnt from you. You deserve all the success that is coming to You for Jee and me know how much you have invested into us and into life! We love You Unconditionally and so do your Grand-children”. Also, a Big Thank You to Jinal di for participating in this and for being a great sister through and through all the years till now”.

Elder Daughter: JINAL

“Whatever I am today is only and only because of my Father. A highly organized person and extremely dedicated to his duties he has brought us up in a very cultured and disciplined environment. Playing the role of a mother and father is not easy. We have seen hardships he has faced in order to raise us so diligently. Spiritual and honest in his ways, he has given us a strong base to face the outside world. He always wears a smile and his simplicity adds a charm to his personality.

He can be like a child with his grandchildren and mold himself easily to his surroundings. Words are not enough to say or justify what I owe to him. Also Dad, Sarthak receives so much joy learning and playing with you”.

A sincere and heartfelt ‘THANK YOU’ to you Dad for all that you have done for us. Love You!

BHAISHREE’S PARENTS – My Grandparents :))

BHAISHREE’S ACTIVITIES

Dad continues to live independently by himself since 9 years now. He is as active as before but is living a simpler and a much more religious life now. He is now fiercely active in the Jain religious spectrum with his organization https://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Jain-Foundation-IJF-Mumbai/

He is working towards creating more awareness of and support for the Jain Sect. His recent, Jain event in Mumbai was embraced with a huge sucess. He is commonly and respectfully referred to as ‘Bhaishree’ by all who know him in recognition of the work he is doing for the Jain Community. This name has been ‘gifted’ to him by a Jain Monk.

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Anand Jaisinghani – July 2015

It gives me great pleasure to share this post as a dedication of my fondness and admiration of my First Cousin Anand ‘bhai’. I may have never told you, but I have always admired you Bhai. Happy B’day!

FROM NATASHA TO HER DAD

On this Special Day I wish to Say, You are My much Admired for all that you have brought into my life.

“The days when you picked me on your shoulders and ran around the home, talked for long hours and never made me feel alone. When all the Qs I asked, unanswered you left none; spending times together, messing the home, eating chocolate, and all your surprises were a lot of fun!!

While I grew, I learnt a lot from You and when I went to Boarding, things changed into something new. I remember the letters I wrote and out of desperation, waited to hear from You. The more I shared my excitement and experiences with you, the more the feelings of missing You within me brew. It took me that distance to realize how important You are to me and now, I could go on scratching our wonderful memories with a lot of glee. I must stop here to say I LOVE YOU DADDY, VERY DEEPLY!

I may have not expressed it like this before, but I do feel it with much rife, I am proud to say – You are the Greatest of my life!”

SOME OF YOUR BEST QUALITIES DAD

You explain anything to me in a Calm manner. Dad you have the power to make me feel Serene
You are super helpful. These are all your helping hands which I have observed over the years!
You are so selfless dad. You think so much for others versus yourself! You are such a loving and caring person, you have taught me to
Even though you don’t cook so often, when you do, it is SUPER DUPER DELICIOUS!!!!!! Dad I grant you the label of
You have another special quality Dad – You are Very

THREE THINGS I ENJOY DOING WITH YOU DAD

Going for a drive

Watching or Channelor just sitting together and asking you tons of related to these channels.

We’ve never done that but… I would love to cook and learn things from You.
YOU ARE MY DAD

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Danny Carvalho – June 2015 Young Dad

This article is brought to you by Rima Desai ~ Copyrights reserved. It aims to appreciate young dads for their contribution in caring for their kid/s. You may also read it here: https://www.facebook.com/parentingbooth

My Dad is years Today!

“Dad You are the Best!”

Words by themselves cannot describe my amazing dad. The day I was born dad was the first and the happiest person to hold me. He said, “Daddy’s little princess is here”. When mom worked 6 days a week, Dad spent an entire day with me each week. On that day he would take over mom’s role pretty well – he would feed me, bathe me, and also change my diapers.

Dad You are my Favorite because:

You love to crack jokes and make me

I love the way you tuck me in your arms and rock me to sleep with your sweet lullabies. For me you are the best singer in the world. Ha ha ;)

Dad, I admire that you do chores such as ironing all my clothes and mopping (Mom is lucky!)

Overall you are quiet a Cool Parent Sometimes you get impatient, but that much is allowed ;)

I enjoy watching TV with you while mom is already asleep

Dad You are not good at:

Cooking! You sure are a very bad cook and I see how you rely on Fast Food when Mom is not around.

Remember daddy my little poem phrase – “Fast Food is not Good”.

Special Notes

Dad You are my First Love and my Superhero forever! No matter what I do or what I say, I know for a fact that you will always support me. Dad for You – “Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a DAD!”

Dad! Love You!

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/youngdadmay2015/

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Sagar Yerunkar – May 2015

SAGAR YERUNKAR – MAY 2015

At 13 years (sometimes I read numbers backwards), my dad is super supportive! There isn’t much of an age gap between dad and me. I turned 1 few days ago and daddy turned 31 on May 16^th. See, we are only 3 apart ;)

One thing is definite – my dad has mastery over story-telling.

When he narrates me a story, he captures our attention. I may be distracted but yet, I get engulfed in his stories; mom too! You can see mom’s palm on her chin, eyes and ears in deep attention. And even if I hear less than half the story, dad continues it with a lot of enthusiasm. Love it dad! Now I can tell how dad charmed mommy. How many stories did you make up dad to impress mom?!

My dad is fun! Papa ensures he gets home on time to enjoy with me before I zzzz.

Mom says Dad’s face is a lantern of happiness when he makes me laugh. He does it every day and it is priceless to watch! Dad doesn’t know I just laugh because I don’t want to disappoint him. ;) (Just kiddin’!)

Mom is pretty smart too. She knows how to put dad to work. She uses her leadership skills with him too. Guess, that (shhh… mom shouldn’t hear), mom has stringed dad into feeding me breakfast, dinner, and cleaning my dirty diapers on the weekends. Pee yu! :p

Plus he does many more things to give her time. But I see why dad does it – he loves mom (nobody should know he is a little scared of mom too, like half a chocolate piece scared). Dad don’t worry, I didn’t tell mom how you sneak into the chocolate box.

There are 3 things that dad barely does half as good as mom (sorry dad, mom told me to write this ;))

Tear free bathing
Getting me to close my eyes for sweet dreams
Keeping me still while changing my diaper

But then Dad has his strengths too! Here is my SD – SUPER DAD

Dad is Super good at

Dressing me
Taking me to rides

3. And playing Peek-a-Boo with me!

Mom says: “Sagar is a super protective dad. Seeing them play together makes me wonder if boys will always be boys”.

Happy B’day DADDY!

Also read: Young dad for April – https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/aprildad2-com/

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Anand Krishnan – April 2015

This article is brought to you by https://www.facebook.com/parentingbooth. Copyrights reserved by Rima Desai. This post is to appreciate young dad from our generation for their contribution in caring for their kid/s.

Hello everyone,

I am just 5 years but I am very creative, my name is Aryan and I am my Dad’s only child.

This is Him and Me together

Well, I am the one with the normal eyes, he is the one with the fountain on his head. In this picture his hair is not well done. He has 10 hair on his head but the person who drew this thought my dad had too little. Funny people!

In reality, my dad is very very big, so big that I can’t calculate his age. He is also a

because he has a solution for everything, every time I am stuck. When I get hurt, he is my

and when I want to speak my heart out, he is the paper and I am the pen. I can share all my feelings with him. We do lots of thing together like:

Play

and much more..

I give my dad

for Bathing me every day, since the time I peed in his pants (3 months onwards).

Did you know that in a way my dad and me are a

Everyday he wants to hear what I did in school and he tells me what happened in office. My dad says this is called ‘Clear Exchange of Information’.

There is lots more I can tell you about my dad. But Shhh.. some secrets too! When My dad laughs, it sounds like this _____________ And his fav. food is Pani puris

But I wouldn’t tell him to cook for me because then the house would be on fire!

Guess what happens to dad when I cry or I am upset… He feels like this hahaha . .. at that time he is the bigger baby!

But He is ‘The Bestest Dad’ ever. Happy Birthday from Jr. Anand

Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Mr. Kapil Sharma – March 2015

Copyrights of this article/ post: Rima Desai ~ Founder of Parenting Booth: https://www.facebook.com/parentingbooth

Today we begin our ‘Young Dad of the Month’ Series. Typically, moms get more appreciation than dads do and hence we wish to start a new tradition. The purpose of this series is to do a quick short, honor to young dads (below age 45) for their contribution in caring for their kids. It is less of a biography; more of just a fun-run for what makes these dads special.

Welcome our Debut ‘Young dad of the Month’

Kapil Sharma 34years

This super dad does everything that he can to entertain his kids from playing WWF, to dancing on Bollywood songs and even making funny faces. Even after a full day’s of work, he is bursting with

Maybe because 5 year son Aarthav feels dad is just 25 years young but 35 feet tall

and as strong as an

Of course, an Ox

or do anything about helping with H.W.

But then, 7 year Adya is sure that Dad fits well into the 7 feet tall ‘Woof’ category!

“We are such cute

and dad is a very caring and protective
“

No wonder he helps us get ready for school in the morning and makes sure we eat our food, no matter how much we hate it! A 100% Dad is great at having us follow us the rituals of home and at

Just one thing that dogs aren’t good at: Being patient with arguments. This is what dad’s face looks like when we argue:

WE LOVE YOU!!

parent of the month

The Biography of a Devoted Father

This post and copyrights belong to Rima Desai

Parent of the month: Feb 2015, Part II

MR. PRADIP UNADKAT

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”. Our parent today is an exemplary hero who adds breath to this proverb. Wading through the worst tides of life at an early phase of parenting, he was convinced that nothing took precedence over the well-being of his children.

Let us welcome Mr. Pradip Unadkat on our platform today as we celebrate his 59^th Birthday on Feb. 27

Mr. Unadkat was born in Geita city of Tanzania country, East Africa. He grew up in Katunguru but the lack of finances refrained his education. With a stone on his heart, he began traveling to Mwanza daily to fetch money through work. Later he moved there permanently. At the age where other teens were talking fun and style, Mr. Unadkat had started full time work and with his blood and sweat, he built his business.

Wishing you many more years of great health and happiness from Parenting Booth

A message from his son: Vineet Unadkat

My mother fell ill when we were very young. I was 8 years and my sister was 4 when she passed away. It was the darkest phase of our lives. Only someone who has lost a life-partner and a mother that early can understand the pain we all went through. Now that I am a parent, I can understand with more depth how dad must have endured the situation. I still remember the things he would do to make us happy. He did everything to ensure we don’t miss mom.

In fact, dad wanted to remain single but he realized that we both needed the love and care of a mother. Hence, for us, he remarried. This was very helpful to us because mom helped us learn moral values, be well mannered and she gave us the strength to fight against all odds. I can’t imagine growing up without her! Both Chandni and me are here today with mom’s unconditional love and support for all of us. Thank You dad for taking that step for us!

Dad also had to go through considerable financial hardships. Several nights he stayed up late to complete his work so that he could get his share of money to send us to school. It was only through his dedicated hard work that we completed our studies.

To fetch me a brighter future, he had to send me to another city for school and college studies. I was 15. This was the toughest decision on dad. Having lost his first wife, and then sending me away for studies was like another hollow at home but dad was tough as a rock. He knew he had to do whatever was needed for my progress. I lived with my uncle. It was only later that I realized dad and my mom had a play in large part to keeping up with my studies. For years, dad and mom sent several items to Uncle, including Pickles they made and Papad (thin, crispy lentil tortillas), in a way to repay what they owe.

If you know the Indian culture, pickles and papad are a very important part of our daily meals and hence considered a good trade. Making either of them is a tedious task.

Special Qualities of Dad:

Dad is the most helpful and generous person I know. He has dedicated his life to helping and serving others. He has helped several people in small and big ways. Mwanza is a closely-knit Indian community. Dad is one of the strongest pillars for others during their personal and during community’s cultural events. He attends to the guests, helps in serving food, and is also there to volunteer during medical trips or emergencies. Several times dad has left behind his work to help and serve others.
Even though dad’s position was not financially strong to get my sister and me through our studies, he worked a lot more and ensured we complete our education. No words can express my gratitude for it.
Dad is extremely forgiving by nature. Even if someone was mean, rude or did something very wrong, yet he would forget, forgive, and be helpful to that person.

“Dad from you I have learnt to be Patient. You have taught me that we will always get what we deserve and that everyone has to pay the price of his or her Karmas. Hence, I learnt from you to do good to others no matter what they do to me and as a result, ‘goodness’ will come back to me. I have applied this principle in my life and seen it work. You are amazing dad. I love you and I am proud to be your son! I am thankful to You and Mom for everything that you’ll have done for us.”

A message from his daughter: Chandni Unadkat

When I was done with my school, I wanted to work but during those times, in my family girls weren’t allowed to work. Unlike other dads, my dad stood up for me, against the social norm and allowed me to work. He gave me the strength and became the biggest support of my life. In fact, due to dad’s support, I was able to contribute to the family in times of need, esp. when my brother was still struggling and trying to settle in USA. Every step of the way, my Dad has supported me, whether in my job or with the choice of my life partner. I was 4 when my mum passed away of cancer. These were the darkest days of dad’s life. Dad’s decision to remarry was tough for him but he did it selflessly, just for us. Being a girl and so young, he did not want me to be without a mother and because of that I feel my dad is a Hero. “I love you Dad. You are my Hero, my best friend and God’s gift to me! I am blessed to have such wonderful parents in my life. Mom and You make our lives complete.”

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/biographyofadedicatedparent/

Rima Desai's: Scuba Diving into the Mind's Pool

Rima is a Kids' & Women Empowerment Coach and a Spiritual Guide

Tag Archives: Dad

THE SIBLING RIVALRY REVOLVER

Hiren Hariani ~ October 2015

Mayur Chheda ~ September 2015

The Biography of a Fearless Parent

Anand Jaisinghani – July 2015

Danny Carvalho – June 2015 Young Dad

“Dad You are the Best!”

Special Notes

Sagar Yerunkar – May 2015

Anand Krishnan – April 2015

Mr. Kapil Sharma – March 2015

Welcome our Debut ‘Young dad of the Month’

Kapil Sharma 34years

WE LOVE YOU!!

The Biography of a Devoted Father

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“Dad You are the Best!”

Special Notes

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Welcome our Debut ‘Young dad of the Month’

Kapil Sharma 34years

WE LOVE YOU!!

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