The Biography of a Fearless Parent

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Parent of the Month (July 2015): Deepak Chheda: aka ‘BHAISHREE’

“The waves of the sea tide high and low to test the strengths within you. They rise up high to see if you can fly when you cannot swim. They bow down low when they know that you shall glow even through a whole bunch of grey clouds!” ~ Dedicated to Dad by Rima D.

It is tough enough to be a Parent, think of being a Single Parent to two young girls with no real career or earning to begin with. In a NEED TO GET INSPIRED?! Read how this parent fearlessly faced all the challenges that life hunted him with…

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Dad was just about to be 34 years when Mom’s sudden demise struck him with immense shock and grief. Then, he had an older daughter at 9 years and me at 6 years. Call it trauma or chaos, he not only had two daughters to care for but also an immense financial burden.

I still remember the day when I was wondering why people all around me are all dressed in white and why they are all crying. What would I understand at 6 years of age? One of the following day, there was an exaggerated silence in our extended living room. Dad was sitting quiet on the 2-3 seater sofa we had – the only furniture that accompanied the long room. Everything seemed empty, not only our hearts, but also our home, and it felt like even the dead living room was crying to be more ‘busy’. I was wearing my white and red two-piece night dress with red hearts on the pockets, beautiful frills. It was my favorite dress. I asked dad – “Where is mom?” He sat there with no response. I can only imagine, how life’s painful demands must have blown upon dad like a loud, commanding trumpet that shakes us from our dearest dream. But he made it through…!

I have seen Dad take heavy loans in an attempt to give us just basic living. We lived in a huge home which was granted by grandpa but besides of that, we literally struggled for even basic clothes or good food. People judged us from the home we had and thought we were rich. We also lived in a suburb that belonged to the elite class since grandpa built his home there and we had cousins that were truly very well off. Our family was socially knit and religiously driven. Hence we had several rituals to attend many times in a month and when all of this is put together, dad had a lot to keep up to: The worry of building his business from scratch, educating his daughters while on a heavy loan, having someone take care of us after school (since school ended by 1pm);  get us enough clothes to keep up with the family and religious rituals, have maids to help us with house work – which was always a huge challenge, and a lot more… I remember his tears and worry when his very own close family members wanted to snatch our home and have us come on the streets. Dad had a legal battle to win to save his two daughters from being homeless, I remember that day when, the little child became his parent and said – “It will be okay dad” but inside my heart, I was hurt, scared, in anger. I remember tons of days of darkness, sadness, struggles in our lives where dad had to fight many social, emotional and financial battles…

I don’t think even a 100 pages can suffice for what I would want to express or vent you may say. I can say that no matter what faults others find, I can vouch for what he did right! In spite of massive financial burden and almost no support from outside, he gave us the best education. He put us in the most competitive and expensive school in one of the most elite areas of the prestigious Mumbai City!

That education has today led me to be this person who is writing on this blog, serving the community, and build a personality that can adapt to any cultural backdrop across the world. I haven’t had a problem conversing in English and interacting with the general public across different countries. My School played big role in it!
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I am honored to have learnt some amazing things from dad:

  1. Excellent Organizational Skills: Until date, I haven’t met anyone who can beat dad in his organizational skills.

  2. Social Skills: Over the years, I saw dad as very sociable. He was friendly, helpful and was quick to make them feel comfortable and good about themselves.

  3. Hard work and the value of being Responsible: Maybe there are people more hardworking than my dad or maybe there aren’t! I cannot owe him enough to teach me this important value. Dad gave his best swim across the tough tides of life. He never backed from his responsibilities even when he had several strong enemies in his business and life. I witnessed him face them all with great courage.

  4. God-fearing and religious – Dad exposed us to deep religious knowledge of Jainism and its rituals. Sometimes it felt like it was too much for a child but today I cherish those experiences and knowledge. It has imparted great wisdom and strength into me. He believed in God and taught us values like being kind, never eat animals, etc.. By belief in God and by modelling courage, he taught us to be Brave and Optimistic in life.

  5. Skills with Kids: Dad is just super with kids. He did great in having cousins stay overnight, arranging games and activities with them, teaching us in fun yet educational ways, entertaining the younger tots, etc. I subconsciously learnt a lot about playing with kids by watching dad over the years.

  6. Have the Faith: Dad taught without the use of words, that having faith and having an optimistic ‘expectation’ out of Life, always leads us to a ‘good’ place. He always taught me – “Never fear”.

  7. Strong cultural roots: I learnt to interact with elders, be courteous, be rooted to my homeland, to my religion, culture, be curious of other cultures, etc all from dad through his wise advices and by observing him.

  8. Business Skills: I have observed him to be an honest, fierce and powerful businessman.

I have learnt a lot from him and still continue to. No parent is perfect and no parent should be, because all that matters if we are bonded with ‘Love’. Love makes it Perfect.

“Dad I am Honored for all that I have learnt from you. You deserve all the success that is coming to You for Jee and me know how much you have invested into us and into life! We love You Unconditionally and so do your Grand-children”. Also, a Big Thank You to Jinal di for participating in this and for being a great sister through and through all the years till now”.

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Elder Daughter: JINAL

“Whatever I am today is only and only because of my Father. A highly organized person and extremely dedicated to his duties he has brought us up in a very cultured and disciplined environment. Playing the role of a mother and father is not easy. We have seen hardships he has faced in order to raise us so diligently. Spiritual and honest in his ways, he has given us a strong base to face the outside world. He always wears a smile and his simplicity adds a charm to his personality.

He can be like a child with his grandchildren and mold himself easily to his surroundings. Words are not enough to say or justify what I owe to him. Also Dad, Sarthak receives so much joy learning and playing with you”.

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A sincere and heartfelt ‘THANK YOU’ to you Dad for all that you have done for us. Love You!

        HBDD

BHAISHREE’S PARENTS – My Grandparents :))

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BHAISHREE’S ACTIVITIES

Dad continues to live independently by himself since 9 years now. He is as active as before but is living a simpler and a much more religious life now. He is now fiercely active in the Jain religious spectrum with his organization https://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Jain-Foundation-IJF-Mumbai/

He is working towards creating more awareness of and support for the Jain Sect. His recent, Jain event in Mumbai was embraced with a huge sucess. He is commonly and respectfully referred to as ‘Bhaishree’ by all who know him in recognition of the work he is doing for the Jain Community. This name has been ‘gifted’ to him by a Jain Monk.

 
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The Biography of a Dedicated Parent

 Parent of the Month: Feb 2015

MR. DINESH ARYA

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 Talent and Intelligence are nothing without the benchmark of Courage and Hard work. Add a spice of Maturity and Modesty to it and boom you have a sparkling gem. Few people are able to wrap all of these six qualities in a perfect balance like Mr. Dinesh Arya. Today on 19 Feb, we are celebrating his 65th Birthday!

Sir, Wishing you many more years of success from Parenting Booth’

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Coming from a very humble upbringing, Mr. Arya had learnt some important values early on in life. He was very young when his father moved from Pakistan to India. Going back to the history of India’s freedom struggle, Pakistan’s separation from India brought immense trauma on the masses and to Mr. Arya’s family as well. The lack of vaccinations victimized him to three lethal diseases at a very small age – diphtheria, small pox, and meningitis. There on, another challenge was growing up in a Muslim-Christian dominated locality. Again, India has faced many mob riots based on religion from time to time and the situation was graver in the mid-1900s. The main challenges for the family were mere survival and providing good education to all the siblings. But, life’s troubles didn’t end there.

While at 11 years other classmates and friends enjoyed their childhood, Mr. Arya and his sister helped their father to deliver his business boxes. Imagine the agony of changing a school due to lack of funds and then having to study and work all day! Yet, Mr. Arya never ranked beyond 2nd in all his school years. With his diligence, he stood 42nd in India and won a scholarship to IIT, Mumbai (A highly prestigious institution for higher studies).

From there, he topped in GRE and won scholarships to all the universities in USA. Back in those days, winning a scholarship to study abroad was like discovering an ocean in a desert – an opportunity only for phenomenal students. But, Mr. Arya’s sense of responsibility towards his family was much higher than the need to capture this sparkling opportunity. He knew that being the eldest and the only son, his family needed him a lot more. He chose stay back and be a pillar to his family. Thereafter, many a challenges crossed his path but Mr. Arya’s moral values, humble and patient nature stood the test of time.

Even after getting a job from IIT campus, he had considerable financial responsibility towards his family. He helped get his sisters married and supported a sister after the loss of her spouse. He had to give up his job twice to a fresh new start and even hit rock bottom times where his family lost everything.

As his family puts it – “His life has been like a Sensex with huge up strings and down strings. The beauty is that his values have remained the same in all situations. People around him, even in his career, gained so much from him that he became a catalyst to their extra-ordinary success and yet he humbly took pride in their victory.

The youngest to the oldest know him as – ‘compassionate’ and ‘generous’. He has believed in the philosophy of giving without expecting and taught his children the same.

 

A message from Niti Ranjan – Daughter

 Special memories

Dad’s work required him to travel a lot but whenever he would return, he made him for his absence. He would bring something special for my brother and me, talk about his travel, and spend time with us. He helped me a lot with Math and Science.

It was very tough on dad to realize that at the tender age of 11 years, I had become an Insulin dependent diabetic. He did everything he could to cure me but he finally felt helpless and I began taking shots. Until today, I live on shots but dad’s positive outlook helped me live through it.

He has taught me to be a good human being, be affectionate to others, and love my own life too. Most of all, I have learnt from him to be generous, helpful and modest without expecting anything in return.

Special qualities of dad:

  1. I can talk anything to him without him judging me
  2. His zest for life is amazing
  3. He gets along with any person. He is equally friendly with and respectful to people of any cast, creed, position, or background.
  4. He is extremely compassionate, caring, and intelligent.

A message from Dushyant Arya – Son

Childhood memories with dad:

-Playing cricket

– Helping me in my studies

– Entertaining Foreigners over Dinner from his workplace

-Watching movies

-Taking walks together and discussing about life and many other things

What I learnt from dad:

It is impossible for me to pen down the infinite number of things I learnt from dad. Here are some:

  1. -Compassion and concern for everyone
  2. -Doing good for others without expectation
  3. -Forgive others (this is difficult for me but dad does it so easily!)
  4. -Love your family
  5. -Interest in the growth and self-discovery of others around you
  6. -Reading
  7. Adapt to any situations like fish to water
  8. Ability to stay positive in all times
  9. To work with passion and do my best in all endeavors and success will surely follow

For you my dad:

“Dad you are my hero, mentor, guru, friend, philosopher and for me, the closest form of God on Earth. I deeply adore you and idolize you in all your roles – as a father, boss, coach, uncle (mama), etc. For me, no other man I know can equal you and I have never loved another man as much. As you celebrate your 65th year, I wish you good health. I wish to imbibe your good qualities. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Do know dad that ‘You are the Best’ and we all Love You!

Mr. Dinesh Arya’s Message

“We were living in a joint family when my first child, Niti was born. I was in a touring job, requiring 20 days travel. I landed home and realized that my wife was already in the hospital. Next day wading through rain and floods, I reached the hospital ‘after’ Niti was born. Years flew by in a whirlwind of tours due to my job. My wife played both: mom and pop to Niti in every way.

Now Niti lives far, I cannot make up for the lost time with her but my granddaughter fills my heart with joy. With my son Dushyant as well, I did not get to spend as much time as I wished. A turning point in my life was when I bought him a computer, and he became my teacher. Today, I am proudly the father of a fine entrepreneur. I would love to have the same kids in the next life so that I can watch them grow, pamper, and play with them. In this life, I will make do with my grandchildren J I am blessed to have children who admire, love, and forgive me despite lack of time and attention from me.

I am forever indebted to my wife – Rita for her contribution in raising the kids while I was absent from home to make two ends meet”.

Mrs. Rita Arya’s message

I am proud to have a husband who is a caring, loving, and giving person even though he has missed out the fun of life in his young days. He could not spend much time with our children due to his travels but whenever kids needed him, he has supported them emotionally, mentally and physically. He makes an adorable father who is always optimistic and sending positive vibrations to his children. We all love him a lot!

—–Copywrite Rima Desai, Feb. 2015——-

 Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/01/29/biographyofavictoriousparent/