PARENTING

TOP 10 WAYS TO TEACH YOUR KIDS TO LOVE THEMSELVES

The most important worry or question any parent has is – “How can I make my child so confident that s/he can face anything in this world and be successful?” This is a million dollar question and here is your million dollar answer. You do not need to do anything fancy and carry a worry worm within you. Worry has no power by itself. If backed with action it becomes motivation, if left at worry it becomes disease and if left with inaction, it becomes a mountain of problems. Hence, here is the list of THINGS TO DO TO KEEP YOUR CHILD BUFFERED.

  1. ACCEPT: Accept that your child has his or her own bag of karmas and nothing you do will completely change those karmas. They have their rocks and mountains to climb to learn from and some are really born with a silver spoon. It is just what their soul chose. Hence, you are NOT the person in control, you are only the guide!
  1. CHANGE WHAT: It is important to focus our efforts in the right direction. Do not attempt to change your kids. Attempt to change their behaviour and help them make productive choices. An introvert will remain an introvert no matter how much your try. If the introvert changes into an extrovert that is because either the situations made him so or because the child was always an extrovert but required the right opportunity. We cannot turn wood into iron and vice versa. The more you show your kids that you love them for who they are and that there are STRENGTHS for all kinds of personality, the more they will be confident and love themselves.
  1. DON’T PRAISE EVERYTHING: Honestly, this is a hard one for me too. It is so easy to WOW everything for our kids. But the truth is that it harms them at some point because it creates EXTERNAL MOTIVATION and a tendency to PEOPLE PLEASE. They must know to self-analyse and be self-motivated independent of what others think. This is a great way to boost their self-confidence.
  1. CREATE SELF-RELIANCE: I love the Montessori philosophy that – “Don’t do for the child what the child can do himself”. The more independent kids are, the more they are confident to face the challenges of the world. In the Indian culture we tend to over-protect our kids and do a lot more for them than they actually need. Living in USA, I have been awed to see that a 1 year young child eats NOODLES and all meals by himself or herself and that they change themselves by age 2 and more. It is amazing how much they can learn if we allow them to.
  1. SOCIALIZE: The more you socialize as a parent, the more your child will too. Social skills are critical to confidence and success in today’s globalization. Few businesses or works are in isolation of other people hence teach them to socialize by modelling the correct manners. I don’t mean PARTY while you leave them at a baby-sitter. I host, invite, attend other moms’ homes with the kind of values you want your child to learn.
  1. LABELS ARE LOUSY: Never label your child as – “Lazy” “Motu” “Fatso” “Darpok” and so on. Those labels may be fun for you but they carve and itch themselves in your child’s brain and then the brain learns to be STUCK on it forever. Growing up, you may see them do exactly what the label says and mark their way to failure. Imagine failing at something only because you were called names a 1000 times in a decade. You may label their behaviour instead – “This sounds like a lazy idea or you are being lazy” which is very different from “you are lazy”.
  1. PERFORM but not OVER-PERFORM: The world is a stage and we are the performers. As parents we are so anxious to MAKE THEM SMART. I don’t understand that concept of enrolling a child in 5 classes to make them smart! School, heavy bag, heavy H.W., lots of classes, late sleep and over burden creates BURN OUT not smartness. Choose 2 classes at a time and use them to the fullest. Allow them to stage perform if they want to or don’t mind it. But forcing a child to be on stage I Have them practice at home to hone those 2 skills. The rest of the time that you used for 3 other classes, instead use for spending one on one time with your child. You can save your Rs. 6000 by playing UNO, SCRABBLE, CHESS and MEMORY with them instead. It will make them smarter than you think, save your money and also save the STRAIN in your relationship with your kid.
  1. NEVER CRITICIZE, JUDGE, STRIP YOUR CHILD WITH YOUR ANGER: “What a shame that ….” “You don’t even know that much…” “I have told you so many times but you are so stupid…” “You fool…” “You could do better than that…” “I told you to do this but you did not listen…” are the best ways to strip your child off their self-confidence forever. Why don’t you turn around and use all those statements on yourself? Feel great uh? Makes you very confident uh? Worse still, use these statements, angry voice and REJECT your child in front of others. Doesn’t matter sister, mother, close friends, whoever they are to you, to the child they are ENEMIES OF SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-WORTH.
  1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: Love your child no matter what. Your child was not born to INCREASE YOUR STATUS and NAME in society. S/he was born to allow you to love and to give you love in return. Keep it simple, don’t pollute it with expectations of the world. A 10th rank doesn’t make your child less lovable, neither does failing. It only means GOD IS TESTING YOUR ABILITY TO LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!Express your love, hug them but not so tight that they feel uncomfortable ;) Use the “I love you” statement not to get their approval or make up for your mistakes but because you truly value their existence in your world.

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  1. APPLY WHAT YOU READ: You have read many articles, now apply all the good stuff you read. Stop, Think and Start applying at least 2 of the above points.
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PARENTING

THE SIBLING RIVALRY REVOLVER

5 primary reasons for sibling rivalry:

  1. Gain your attention:Do your kids miss getting ‘real’ emotional care and time from you? If they do, boom, sibling rivalry is a SYMPTOM to that, not a problem!
  2. Stress at home:Getting along is an emotional problem. If there is emotional instability at home, this is one way it will show up. Are you or your kids overwhelmed (we call it stress) or depressed?
  3. Model Adults:Kids often solve problems in the way they view adults solve problems. Do you resort to yelling, back talking, arguing with the other adults in your life. If either of the adult does this at home, why blame the kids?
  4. Sense your energy: Do you feel life is being ‘UNFAIR’ to you? If it is, your kids are only REFLECTING or MIRRORING your feelings!
  5. The Bully:Is one kid ‘honestly’ a bully to the other? Is one smarter, more controlling or stronger in some way and overpowers the other? OR do you often ask the ‘older’ child to ‘give in’? If you do, it is 100% unfair to the older child!Solutions:

     

    1. 1st recognise the true reason and root cause. Don’t jump to solutions until you have done proper diagnosis.

  1. Ask the kids what do they miss from you – the parents and what do they think is the reason for the rivalry?
  1. Allow them to solve their problems. Intervene only in situations of physical or emotional harm or any emergencies.
  1. Explain to them with real life people on how pappa and mumma show love differently and how the kids themselves are different with pappa and mumma. Use story books to explain how no two people in the world are alike, not even twins.
  1. Do a reality check, in your heart do you favor or admire one of your child over the other? It is ok if you do, that is called being HUMAN. However, be true about that in your heart and see if you recognise any objective reason for your discretion? Is one of the child more like you or more co-operative?
  2. Remedy your ‘unfair’ behaviors. If you have overloaded the older child with responsibilities and always or often asking the older child to make compromises and give in while you feel ‘bad’ for the younger child, you are responsible for the older child’s hatred and bully behavior towards the younger child. How fair are you being truly? It is never too late to make changes
  1. Talk to other parents, you may get some wonderful sugggestions.
  1. Ask kids for the solutions. They are the best problem solvers, ask each of them separately and then together, what would they do if they were the parents? Share your own childhood stories and be real. Did you find solutions to sibling rivalry with your siblings or you didn’t. Why did you not find solutions? Reflect on your own life and see what you can find.
  1. Does one child gain more approval and appreciation from the family over another? Is it because one is fat, the other is not, one is fair or smarter or more chirpy personality? Also, how severe is the rivalry. Do they hate each other outright or it is a love-hate or love-fight-love relationship? Seek professional help from a child counselor or psychologist when you just can’t find a way out.

Hope this helps. <3

 

 

 

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Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Sagar Yerunkar – May 2015

This article is brought to you by Rima Desai ~ Copyrights reserved. It aims to appreciate young dads for their contribution in caring for their kid/s. You may also read it here: https://www.facebook.com/parentingbooth

SAGAR YERUNKAR – MAY 2015

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At 13 years (sometimes I read numbers backwards), my dad is super supportive! There isn’t much of an age gap between  dad and me. I turned 1 few days ago and daddy turned 31 on May 16th.  See, we are only 3 apart ;)

One thing is definite – my dad has mastery over story-telling.


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When he narrates me a story, he captures our attention. I may be distracted but yet, I get engulfed in his stories; mom too! You can see mom’s palm on her chin, eyes and ears in deep attention. And even if I hear less than half the story, dad continues it with a lot of enthusiasm. Love it dad! Now I can tell how dad charmed mommy. How many stories did you make up dad to impress mom?!

My dad is fun! Papa ensures he gets home on time to enjoy with me before I zzzz.

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 Mom says Dad’s face is a lantern of happiness when he makes me laugh. He does it every day and it is priceless to watch! Dad doesn’t know I just laugh because I don’t want to disappoint him. ;) (Just kiddin’!)

 

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Mom is pretty smart too. She knows how to put dad to work. She uses her leadership skills with him too. Guess, that (shhh… mom shouldn’t hear), mom has stringed dad into feeding me breakfast, dinner, and cleaning my dirty diapers on the weekends. Pee yu! :p

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Plus he does many more things to give her time. But I see why dad does it – he loves mom (nobody should know he is a little scared of mom too, like half a chocolate piece scared). Dad don’t worry, I didn’t tell mom how you sneak into the chocolate box.

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There are 3 things that dad barely does half as good as mom (sorry dad, mom told me to write this ;))

  1.  Tear free bathing
  2. Getting me to close my eyes for sweet dreams
  3. Keeping me still while changing my diaper

 But then Dad has his strengths too! Here is my SD – SUPER DAD

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Dad is Super good at

  1. Dressing me
  2.  Taking me to car rides

3. And playing Peek-a-Boo with me!

 Mom says: “Sagar is a super protective dad. Seeing them play together makes me wonder if boys will always be boys”.

HB DADDY!

Happy B’day DADDY!

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Also read: Young dad for April – https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/aprildad2-com/

 

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Parent-Edge Magazine Articles by me

Fun with Phonics: Teach Phonics in a Fun Way (Re-post from ParentEdge)

This is a RE-POST of my article from The Indian Magazine: ParentEdge: http://parentedge.in/fun-with-phonics-teach-phonics-in-a-fun-way/

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Ideal Age: 3.5 years – 6.5 years

It is fascinating to see our children grow through their different phases and one such thrilling phase is when they begin to put words together into sentences. Next, they begin picking up sounds of letters to make more sense out of them.

In simple words, learning Phonics is about learning the sounds of each letter so that they can be put together to make a word. This means that instead of rote learning CAT with the letter C, A, T, the child would learn to ‘develop’ the word CAT by saying the sound of each letter as in C-A-T. Today we will learn simple exercises to boost your child’s phonic awareness in powerful ways.

I want you all to know that the activities I list here are the activities I do with my daughter sincerely and many of the activities in my articles are MY OWN ORIGINAL ACTIVITIES which came about with the need for ‘creative play’ with my daughter to teach her more by spending less!

Magnetic lettersACTIVITY ONE: The first step is to get your child interested in the alphabet per se. We need a magnetic surface and magnetic letters. Place toy letters on the fridge top or a magnetic surface to attract your child’s attention. Playing A-B-C nursery rhymes and showing them letters in their environment makes them more aware that letters give meaning to our world. When we are waiting for our train ride, or parking at the airport, my daughter and I have fun playing I Spy and spotting letters.

ACTIVITY TWO: We need lots of blank white paper, a dark color marker, and some cello tape. We are going to write names of simple objects around the home and then stick the paper on that object. E.g. Write DOOR in big bold letters and tape the paper on any door. Same with Fridge, Wall, Chair, Table, and so on; this helps your child associate words and letters to objects in their environment and learn spellings at a later stage.

spelling objectsspelling objects 2

ACTIVITY THREE: We need some wooden plain blocks, (preferably rectangular) and a marker. Along with your child, write the name of each of your family members on a block. Encourage your child to place that name block on the dining table assigning each family member a place to sit. This way the child learns to spell names and gets more involved in mealtime preparation.

Another alternative: take more blocks and write one letter on one block to spell out names of all family members. This is an advanced version in name spelling and can create a lot of fun for your child especially if s/he likes challenges.

Below you can see I have used the same block to write both words on opposite sides. This way my daughter learns the spelling of and associates both the words. Similarly, you can take 3 cubes and write M on one, O on the other and M on the 3rd one to help them spell it out literally by themselves.

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ACTIVITY FOUR: This is my daughter’s favorite activity. We began it when she was 4.5 years and now 7 months later she enjoys it just as much.

We need – pencil, paper, eraser, you and your child in a place comfortable enough to write.

Pre-requisite: Child must know sounds of each or at least some letters and must know how to write them.

Aim: To help your child spell a word, write it, and then draw a picture of it.

How to: You will begin by thinking of a word, let’s say STAR. You will now tell your child that you are going to spell out the word for him / her by saying the sounds of each letter in your word. Begin with ‘S’ (just make the sound of S, don’t say S). Your child has to guess which letter it is and write that letter on the paper. Next letter is ‘T’ (Just the Tah sound) and so the child guesses and writes T. In this way, you finish S-T-A-R and then allow your child to guess what the word if. If s/he cannot get the word, you say it for them by putting the sounds together like ‘St’ ‘ar’  = Star. Now s/he must draw a star in any way s/he can.

Remember, it is ok if the word letters and pictures are not aligned or in order. The presentation is not important here, the learning is!

Below is my daughter’s paper at age 4.7 years. She spelled and guessed all of the words below and drew pictures. Mostly we do this when I am cooking in the kitchen, she sits nearby, and we enjoy the game together. spell testMy other articles from ParentEdge magazine:

Related articles

 

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Young Dad Appreciation of the Month

Anthony Nguyen – April 2015

This article is brought to you by Rima Desai ~ Copyrights reserved. It aims to appreciate young dads for their contribution in caring for their kid/s. 

ANTHONY NGUYEN – April 2015

Anthony Nguyen is our 2nd dad today for Young Dad’s Appreciation for this month. His toddler son is telling us a fun story about how Fantabulous his Dad is. He is celebrating his Dad’s 30th B’day on April 4th!

a 2 Congratulations Daddy! You have been selected as Month April’s Super Hero. You must show the world your extra-ordinary tricks. All the other boys keep saying that their dad is a Super Hero – Super man, Spider Man, Flying Man ;) but I can tell you my dad is truly a Ninja!

 Ninja Dad

Okay you guys think I am kidding right? Alright I’ll tell you what.

I know all the things that makes my Dad great. At least once every day he changes my

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and often he lets me roam in it too… because he knows that it unleashes my power within – ‘Freedom from Pants Power Roooarrr’. He has changed more than

365diapers in the last one year! And while changing my diaper, he wont mind if I shower him with my love. He is ‘Cool’

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Dad also knows how to change my

clothes without even holding them. He makes them fly! You must watch him do it: One kick and my shirt is off, another kick and my shirt is on… yesterday he even cut his cake like that (Umm… I mean the shoe hit the table and the cake sliced with the table earthquake… something like that… haha)

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Do you know why I am not the Dentist’s best friend? Because my dad tooth brush my teeth, at least 5 times in a day. No, really! and if they still look not as white, he takes a few drops of paint and ….. O I was supposed to Shh that. O boy..

Thanx to dad I smell so good – he remembers to shower me at least once a week + he can give me a bath almost anywhere. He says it is ‘TRUE CREATIVITY’

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He remembers to trim my nails when they begin looking like Dragon paws

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Now did you say my dad is not a Ninja?!

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Anthony Nguyen

Anthony Nguyen

Dad You are so Awesome, I decided to write you a message in the Sky for everyone to see

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parent of the month

The Biography of a Devoted Father

This post and copyrights belong to Rima Desai

Parent of the month: Feb 2015, Part II

MR. PRADIP UNADKAT

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“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”. Our parent today is an exemplary hero who adds breath to this proverb. Wading through the worst tides of life at an early phase of parenting, he was convinced that nothing took precedence over the well-being of his children.

Let us welcome Mr. Pradip Unadkat on our platform today as we celebrate his 59th Birthday on Feb. 27

Mr. Unadkat was born in Geita city of Tanzania country, East Africa. He grew up in Katunguru but the lack of finances refrained his education. With a stone on his heart, he began traveling to Mwanza daily to fetch money through work. Later he moved there permanently. At the age where other teens were talking fun and style, Mr. Unadkat had started full time work and with his blood and sweat, he built his business.

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Wishing you many more years of great health and happiness from Parenting Booth

 

A message from his son: Vineet Unadkat

My mother fell ill when we were very young. I was 8 years and my sister was 4 when she passed away. It was the darkest phase of our lives. Only someone who has lost a life-partner and a mother that early can understand the pain we all went through. Now that I am a parent, I can understand with more depth how dad must have endured the situation. I still remember the things he would do to make us happy. He did everything to ensure we don’t miss mom.

In fact, dad wanted to remain single but he realized that we both needed the love and care of a mother. Hence, for us, he remarried. This was very helpful to us because mom helped us learn moral values, be well mannered and she gave us the strength to fight against all odds. I can’t imagine growing up without her! Both Chandni and me are here today with mom’s unconditional love and support for all of us. Thank You dad for taking that step for us!

Dad also had to go through considerable financial hardships. Several nights he stayed up late to complete his work so that he could get his share of money to send us to school. It was only through his dedicated hard work that we completed our studies.

To fetch me a brighter future, he had to send me to another city for school and college studies. I was 15. This was the toughest decision on dad. Having lost his first wife, and then sending me away for studies was like another hollow at home but dad was tough as a rock. He knew he had to do whatever was needed for my progress. I lived with my uncle. It was only later that I realized dad and my mom had a play in large part to keeping up with my studies. For years, dad and mom sent several items to Uncle, including Pickles they made and Papad (thin, crispy lentil tortillas), in a way to repay what they owe.

If you know the Indian culture, pickles and papad are a very important part of our daily meals and hence considered a good trade. Making either of them is a tedious task.

                                                          

Special Qualities of Dad:

  1. Dad is the most helpful and generous person I know. He has dedicated his life to helping and serving others. He has helped several people in small and big ways. Mwanza is a closely-knit Indian community. Dad is one of the strongest pillars for others during their personal and during community’s cultural events. He attends to the guests, helps in serving food, and is also there to volunteer during medical trips or emergencies. Several times dad has left behind his work to help and serve others.
  2. Even though dad’s position was not financially strong to get my sister and me through our studies, he worked a lot more and ensured we complete our education. No words can express my gratitude for it.
  3. Dad is extremely forgiving by nature. Even if someone was mean, rude or did something very wrong, yet he would forget, forgive, and be helpful to that person.

“Dad from you I have learnt to be Patient. You have taught me that we will always get what we deserve and that everyone has to pay the price of his or her Karmas. Hence, I learnt from you to do good to others no matter what they do to me and as a result, ‘goodness’ will come back to me. I have applied this principle in my life and seen it work. You are amazing dad. I love you and I am proud to be your son! I am thankful to You and Mom for everything that you’ll have done for us.

A message from his daughter: Chandni Unadkat

When I was done with my school, I wanted to work but during those times, in my family girls weren’t allowed to work. Unlike other dads, my dad stood up for me, against the social norm and allowed me to work. He gave me the strength and became the biggest support of my life. In fact, due to dad’s support, I was able to contribute to the family in times of need, esp. when my brother was still struggling and trying to settle in USA. Every step of the way, my Dad has supported me, whether in my job or with the choice of my life partner. I was 4 when my mum passed away of cancer. These were the darkest days of dad’s life. Dad’s decision to remarry was tough for him but he did it selflessly, just for us. Being a girl and so young, he did not want me to be without a mother and because of that I feel my dad is a Hero. I love you Dad. You are my Hero, my best friend and God’s gift to me! I am blessed to have such wonderful parents in my life. Mom and You make our lives complete.”

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/biographyofadedicatedparent/

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PARENTING

Puzzles and kids!

 Puzzles are an excellent way to build logical thinking and conceptual knowledge. Do not underestimate the power of puzzles to develop a sharp, smart mind.Begin puzzles for your children as early as 2 years of age. At 2 years, you can do 3-4 piece puzzles. and slowly move up.How to help kids with puzzles at any age:

Take a flat surface – prefer having a dark color paper or sheet or brown cardboard / wood / floor / table to work on. The more simple the background, the easier it is for the child to pay attention to the puzzle pieces

1. Resist the temptation to give the answers and solve it for them. If you have a strong need to solve their puzzles or are impatient while they figure it, you need to get yourself a puzzle box!

2. The first times, show your kid how the puzzle is done. If they are in a hurry to take pieces from you, let them just play around it, even if they solve nothing. This helps create INTEREST.

3. At another time, pick the same puzzle. “Let’s do this together today”. Pick a piece with the most character in it, i.e. one which looks the most detailed e.g. one with face, or color and shape so that it is easy to recognize the other part that fits in.

4. Pick the connecting piece and explain how the color or the design matches at the edges and that is why they ‘fit in’

5. Calmly explain how to fit pieces in like push the edges together or push down the pieces so that they are flat.

6. If your child gets frustrated, leave it. There is no point in teaching with negative emotions looming around. Remember, finishing the puzzle is not important, learning a little bit at a time is! Focus more on the process than the outcome.

7. Leave a puzzle out on the dining table or your child’s table without saying a word. See if your child plays with it within 1 -3 days of keeping it. Again, do not mention anything, just leave the puzzle out and observe. If your child notices it and plays, you know your child is interested in solving problems!

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parent of the month

The Biography of a Dedicated Parent

 Parent of the Month: Feb 2015

MR. DINESH ARYA

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 Talent and Intelligence are nothing without the benchmark of Courage and Hard work. Add a spice of Maturity and Modesty to it and boom you have a sparkling gem. Few people are able to wrap all of these six qualities in a perfect balance like Mr. Dinesh Arya. Today on 19 Feb, we are celebrating his 65th Birthday!

Sir, Wishing you many more years of success 

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Coming from a very humble upbringing, Mr. Arya had learnt some important values early on in life. He was very young when his father moved from Pakistan to India. Going back to the history of India’s freedom struggle, Pakistan’s separation from India brought immense trauma on the masses and to Mr. Arya’s family as well. The lack of vaccinations victimized him to three lethal diseases at a very small age – diphtheria, small pox, and meningitis. There on, another challenge was growing up in a Muslim-Christian dominated locality. Again, India has faced many mob riots based on religion from time to time and the situation was graver in the mid-1900s. The main challenges for the family were mere survival and providing good education to all the siblings. But, life’s troubles didn’t end there.

While at 11 years other classmates and friends enjoyed their childhood, Mr. Arya and his sister helped their father to deliver his business boxes. Imagine the agony of changing a school due to lack of funds and then having to study and work all day! Yet, Mr. Arya never ranked beyond 2nd in all his school years. With his diligence, he stood 42nd in India and won a scholarship to IIT, Mumbai (A highly prestigious institution for higher studies).

From there, he topped in GRE and won scholarships to all the universities in USA. Back in those days, winning a scholarship to study abroad was like discovering an ocean in a desert – an opportunity only for phenomenal students. But, Mr. Arya’s sense of responsibility towards his family was much higher than the need to capture this sparkling opportunity. He knew that being the eldest and the only son, his family needed him a lot more. He chose stay back and be a pillar to his family. Thereafter, many a challenges crossed his path but Mr. Arya’s moral values, humble and patient nature stood the test of time.

Even after getting a job from IIT campus, he had considerable financial responsibility towards his family. He helped get his sisters married and supported a sister after the loss of her spouse. He had to give up his job twice to a fresh new start and even hit rock bottom times where his family lost everything.

As his family puts it – “His life has been like a Sensex with huge up strings and down strings. The beauty is that his values have remained the same in all situations. People around him, even in his career, gained so much from him that he became a catalyst to their extra-ordinary success and yet he humbly took pride in their victory.

The youngest to the oldest know him as – ‘compassionate’ and ‘generous’. He has believed in the philosophy of giving without expecting and taught his children the same.

 

A message from Niti Ranjan – Daughter

 Special memories

Dad’s work required him to travel a lot but whenever he would return, he made him for his absence. He would bring something special for my brother and me, talk about his travel, and spend time with us. He helped me a lot with Math and Science.

It was very tough on dad to realize that at the tender age of 11 years, I had become an Insulin dependent diabetic. He did everything he could to cure me but he finally felt helpless and I began taking shots. Until today, I live on shots but dad’s positive outlook helped me live through it.

He has taught me to be a good human being, be affectionate to others, and love my own life too. Most of all, I have learnt from him to be generous, helpful and modest without expecting anything in return.

Special qualities of dad:

  1. I can talk anything to him without him judging me
  2. His zest for life is amazing
  3. He gets along with any person. He is equally friendly with and respectful to people of any cast, creed, position, or background.
  4. He is extremely compassionate, caring, and intelligent.

A message from Dushyant Arya – Son

Childhood memories with dad:

-Playing cricket

– Helping me in my studies

– Entertaining Foreigners over Dinner from his workplace

-Watching movies

-Taking walks together and discussing about life and many other things

What I learnt from dad:

It is impossible for me to pen down the infinite number of things I learnt from dad. Here are some:

  1. -Compassion and concern for everyone
  2. -Doing good for others without expectation
  3. -Forgive others (this is difficult for me but dad does it so easily!)
  4. -Love your family
  5. -Interest in the growth and self-discovery of others around you
  6. -Reading
  7. Adapt to any situations like fish to water
  8. Ability to stay positive in all times
  9. To work with passion and do my best in all endeavors and success will surely follow

For you my dad:

“Dad you are my hero, mentor, guru, friend, philosopher and for me, the closest form of God on Earth. I deeply adore you and idolize you in all your roles – as a father, boss, coach, uncle (mama), etc. For me, no other man I know can equal you and I have never loved another man as much. As you celebrate your 65th year, I wish you good health. I wish to imbibe your good qualities. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Do know dad that ‘You are the Best’ and we all Love You!

Mr. Dinesh Arya’s Message

“We were living in a joint family when my first child, Niti was born. I was in a touring job, requiring 20 days travel. I landed home and realized that my wife was already in the hospital. Next day wading through rain and floods, I reached the hospital ‘after’ Niti was born. Years flew by in a whirlwind of tours due to my job. My wife played both: mom and pop to Niti in every way.

Now Niti lives far, I cannot make up for the lost time with her but my granddaughter fills my heart with joy. With my son Dushyant as well, I did not get to spend as much time as I wished. A turning point in my life was when I bought him a computer, and he became my teacher. Today, I am proudly the father of a fine entrepreneur. I would love to have the same kids in the next life so that I can watch them grow, pamper, and play with them. In this life, I will make do with my grandchildren J I am blessed to have children who admire, love, and forgive me despite lack of time and attention from me.

I am forever indebted to my wife – Rita for her contribution in raising the kids while I was absent from home to make two ends meet”.

Mrs. Rita Arya’s message

I am proud to have a husband who is a caring, loving, and giving person even though he has missed out the fun of life in his young days. He could not spend much time with our children due to his travels but whenever kids needed him, he has supported them emotionally, mentally and physically. He makes an adorable father who is always optimistic and sending positive vibrations to his children. We all love him a lot!

—–Copywrite Rima Desai, Feb. 2015——-

 Also read this

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PARENTING

~Simple but highly powerful ways to show love~

Tip of the Day:

Show your children how much you love your spouse in ways other than just words and physical touch. Teach them how to serve each other by doing something that you may not like but yet do to give comfort or show love to your partner. Life is not all rosy and romantic, show love in your day to day routines.

love

What do children learn by observing such actions?

  1. The importance of sometimes putting others’ need before theirs 
  2. Teaches them practical / realistic ways to show love which will help their relationships later in life
  3. Gives them a sense of security and love in the family
  4. Teaches them to share responsibility                                                         
  5. Teaches them to respect others and others’ needs

    Real life Example:

Lately my husband has been cooking some difficult dishes. Those that typically ONLY women cook and which are totally out of his comfort zone like Dudhi (lauki or bottle gourd) vegetable, cabbage curry. More so, he has been rolling and roasting chapatis (Indian flat bread) which is not only tough for any newbie but also highly uncommon for men to do. Maybe 1% of Indian men (non-chefs) do it.

Yet, he does it with a lot of joy. His purpose is to give me my extra free fun time or my own time. Other ways we show love and our union to each other is by playing silly games like running around tagging each other, making funny faces, water splash challenges, giving massages, making food of each others’ liking, giving each other a day or evening to utilize the way we individually want, sharing daughter’s responsibilities like brushing teeth, pick and drop, meal care, and so on.

More than anything, the joy my daughter gets to see us do these things for each other is phenomenal. The energy eventually spreads.. Now at 4 years, she wants to make Tea and Sandwiches for dad 3 times a week and that too from step 1st to end.

Please do not use this post as a WEAPON against your husband. lol but by all means Share it with them! :D Do not demand or command what they SHOULD do. There are several options in cooking or besides cooking, there are many things around the home that can be done together. The whole idea is to work together for fun. It could be doing groceries together, shopping, cleaning at home together, setting the table together… anything within each one’s comfort zone.

~Working together in one great way to bond a family, experience love and produce lots of joyful energy at home~

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/marriageastrology/
* Note – all my articles are originally written by me. Find lots more info on my Facebook Page – Parenting Booth: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-Booth/838254032904102

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Parent-Edge Magazine Articles by me

Holiday Art – A magic art for kids from Scrap!

This article has been written by me and re-posted with permission from Parentedge: http://parentedge.in/holiday-art-create-from-scrap/

Christmas or any another festival, we humans pretty much imitate the busy activity of a beehive during festive seasons. However, before the crowd attacks the shopping centers, newspapers speak out the Christmas Cheer loud and clear as a flurry of toys, lights, and gifts decorate flyers and pamphlets. Since I like to use everything to its best capacity, I could not think of throwing away the big heap of paper that came through my mail. And this is how a new art project was born.

Activity: A Simple Art Project, 45-60mins

Age group: 4- 6 years with parental help; 6 – 10 years independently

What you need

  1. A large piece of cardboard or plain white paper
  2. Markers
  3. Glue sticks or glue
  4. Newspapers / flyers with any images related to Christmas or toys
  5. Scissors
  6. Trash can
  7. Curious kids

Learning Focus

Creativity, imagination, organization skills, fine motor skills, competitiveness, spatial reasoning, decision making.

The Plot

You can chose either ‘The Christmas Theme’ or ‘The Toy Theme’ or mix the two!

It is best to have two kids do this activity side by side to add a competitive spirit. Kids will have 60mins to complete the project. Their aim will be to create for themselves, a special room on the canvas or paper you provide. They will do this by choosing, cutting, and pasting the pictures from their own pile of newspapers. They could use markers to decorate their room and create any theme. It doesn’t matter if the snaps overlap, as long as each one is seen clearly and a minimum of 20 pictures have been used. They should use their imaginations to generate this special room as if it was real, a part of their real home. In fact, you can title your kids ‘Interior Designers’ for this fun project.

How to

Collect all the newspapers and sit down in an area with enough room to spread the papers. Before you call the kids, filter the papers by yourself. Make sure there are 15 – 30 pages of newspapers  / flyers that have photographs related to Christmas or toys. For example, a page showing decorative lights, a Christmas tree or an ornament, is worth saving. One that has a few toy cars, kids playing in a dollhouse or pretending to be supermen are excellent too.

Creating art projects from old newspapers

If you are calling on friends or siblings for a project competition, make two different piles, relevant to each one’s age. I had a 9-year young with my 4-year young, which means the older one got a lot more newspapers to work with simply because she would be faster and more independent. I wanted to keep the curiosity as well the challenge alive for each one.

Once you have the newspapers sorted, spread out a large cloth / sheet / plastic to work on the floor. On that spread out the large white paper or cardboard and all other necessities in equal quantity for each child. Then, call the kids.

The rules

It is time to announce the rules. Let each child know that the competition is only in two aspects – to use everything that is given and to complete the project on time. Make it clear that there is no competing for better or worse. You won’t be judging the final project and putting a label of good or bad; rather you will see how well they use the resources given to them within the set time limit. Assure them that you are around for any back up or support. The ultimate aim is to LEARN & HAVE FUN. Read ‘The Plot’ section above to announce the rules.

Christmas Art from old newspapers

Art projects from scrap paper

Art for young children from scrap paper

Recycled art projects from old newspapers

Art projects for kids

This picture above was created by Kapila Khare, 9 years young. She made the toy room of her dreams!

Now that you know this activity has so much to teach your child (check above in the section titled ‘Learning Focus’), you can use this project with different things.

Here are a few ideas

  1. Save boxes of cereal, cookies, croutons, ready-to-eat packs, lentils, etc. Cut out food pictures from there and challenge kids to make a food chart. Use the classification of healthy vs. unhealthy or fats/ proteins/ carbs. Activate your creativity, parents!Example
  2. Save pictures of produces (fruits and vegetables) from several articles. They could make charts to classify fruits and veggies or ones they like vs. don’t like or even organize by the color or texture.
  3. Use your vacation photographs, vehicles, environment, or pictures of different roles that people play in the community.

All you need is a pile of newspapers and a watchful eye!

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