by TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE-COACH RIMA DESAI
Tag Archives: Romance
KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE!
Do you find it hard to express your love to your loved ones? This post is for you!
Isn’t it amazing to have good friends in our life, no matter how far they are! I was having this heart to heart conversation with a very close friend and discovered something new about her!
Expressing OUR LOVE for our partner / spouse is crucial in any stage of the relationship. Taking each other for granted in known or unconscious ways, is often what distances or breaks a relationship.
Here are some quick tips to keep the romance bursting in your LOVE LIFE. Pick whatever suits you best. These are just some suggestions. Tweek them as you like, pick 1 or 2 that suits you best or use them all!
– SAY IT WITH FLOWERS: Yes, flowers are awesome and they are not just a lady’s pal. Flowers can refresh a relationship and a stressful day. Once you keep the stress away, lots of smile are coming you way 😁
– SURPRISE THEM: Got a surprise dinner planned or an outing to their favorite place or maybe even a small getaway? For most people, it leads straight to the heart!
– MAKE A NOTE: Post its or a chalk board, whatever you have to simply write ” I LOVE YOU” or “YOU MEAN THE WORLD” is a simple but powerful way to reignite some magic.
– GET A GIFT: Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, unless of course🤪 your partner is explicit about it. Remember, men love gifts too. A wallet, a pen, coasters, cuff lings, a shirt, their favorite coffee, a beer mug, call it a day!
– THE SOUND OF MUSIC: Music has healing powers. Get to know their favorite songs, bands or musicians and treat them for a at home concert (play their fav music), date a concert (part of surprises maybe?) or buy them the perfect play in the car playlist. Maybe add some dancing to a musical, romantic day.
– CARDS, CARS, OURS! – Give them a greeting card on their bday, when they are unwell or to thank them for their lovely gestures. Go for a drive in the car (You drive them, give them a break!) and spend time ALONE (let them know, you planned alone time just for them!).
– COOK IT UP: Take a day to COOK ONLY THEIR FAVORITE FOOD. Rest of the family can play along at least for a day??!
– There are many other ways to express love. Get creative. Getting too busy with our in laws, children, work, routine, etc. can keep us from remembering that we must invest time, energy and love in our relationship for it to continue to thrive!
WOMEN, GOSSIP & A NO MAN’S LAND
WHAT HAPPENS TYPICALLY WHEN WOMEN MEET? HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS HUMOROUS, HONEST READ
Much of the essence of a woman comes from her talking. Imagine if we had a ‘Women Silence Day’ around the world, the noise pollution could remarkably drop. Be it that way for a month and men wouldn’t complain of ear infections… Ha ha.
The yummy recipes and food, cosmetics & beauty, home, children & pregnancy, health & exercise, men and more are the forever hottest topics among us ladies. We can be rightfully titled as the ‘liveliest walky talky magazines’ on this planet.
Going into details comes naturally to most of us. A new lipstick brand would be discussed for ten minutes: the shades, the shade number, the price and all possible stores you could find it on. The new clothes store on the block has been dissected to the core: all the brand names available, from where the clothes are imported and much more. We are the dictionary to what happens in homes, in stores and in town. Don’t you think more women than men should be hired as marketing heads?!
The all round counseling center is found among the ladies’ circle. You can bank your luck for getting tips on gardening, staying fit and healthy, making the best of your kitchen, getting your hairstyle right and running a home bank.
Overhear a conversation and you are bound to hear us share and support each other for the smallest of concerns: “I don’t understand why my kid doesn’t drink milk?” “I went berserk finding my car keys yesterday.” “You’ll be fine, don’t worry” and “I am just round the corner whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.” That reminds me not to forget the free of cost water resource that lies within us.
The ‘teary’ seasons are absolutely unpredictable for more than few men. It is definitely more difficult than hiking Mount Kilimanjaro or swimming Lake Victoria! “She was perfectly fine a minute ago; I wonder what tore her down!” Is that how men feel very often? Ha ha. I can’t help but laugh.
The fragile, ‘touch me not’ silk threaded girl friend takes a 360 degree alteration into a ‘dare you mess with me’ wife! The woman, who is full of mercy and sympathy for the neighbor’s dog and for your friend’s husband, is cruelly unkind with you. What a pity! “It is more difficult to tackle a wife than tackling a rotten boss”… I can imagine that being the punch line for an ‘All Men Magazine.’ The problem is most often men are busily entangled into our beauty and when it’s time for duty (take over the good husband role), you fail miserably. Men who have mastered ‘what women want’ are the ones with the kingly crowns.
Keeping aside the teary sessions, women don’t blank out comedy shows from their fun times. I haven’t seen a group of women depart without a light laughter or a heart filled smile.
“Did you notice our boss’s new hairstyle? He looks so funny!” says Aisha to Yesta. “Yes, looks like he has returned from some crazy ‘Adam found Eve’ on an island episode.” I have also known of girls who whistle to the hunk passing by. I’d be one of them in fact!
I was in the 5th grade (10 years old) when the boy in class called me ‘STUPID,’ my reaction was pretty much programmed to me and unexpected to him – I turned around and slapped him. Ha ha. The shock left him in great silence, the teacher never found out!
Women are not unpredictable; men must know where to dig, when and how… Haha.
Well, I hope you had some fun reading this humorous article. Women are not that bad after all. The warmth of the Venus and the shield of the Mars, both are required in this world.
Also read: STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR MOMS
HIGH IMPACT STRESS REDUCTION – Step by Step Tutorial by Coach Rima Desai
In this article, I share with you a high impact, highly effective technique to reduce your daily stress. These techniques are quick and easy. They can be practiced on the go – in the shower, at the traffic light, before bed, upon waking up or anytime in the day when you have just 2 minutes. Yes, in just 2 minutes of your day you can transform how your mind and body feels! Read on…
It was the summer of 1997, I was 16 years young, helping an infant fall asleep. The mom was out on a walk and her infant boy woke up in his sleep, I put him on my shoulders, tapped him gently and soothed him back to sleep. After 20 years, I still remember that feeling because it was ‘paradise’ – the sense of fulfillment I got from having a baby in my arms. All I wanted to be then, was a Mom! That dream came true in 2009 when I realized I had a baby growing in my womb.
It feels amazing to be a Mom, from conception to delivery and through the growing years. What we do not know before conception though, is the forever ‘Mommy Stress’ that is to follow. The stress is not just the fact of having kid/s to care for in so many ways, but the family dynamics, the body dynamics, lack of time for self-care and lack of support that comes with it. We are largely still a traditional society. We do not get the freedom to take down time, breathe, live, love and laugh like we would before we were a mom or a wife.
I am a practicing Life-Coach for Women since 2 years now and my core clientele is MOMS. I teach moms from across the world, life-skills and coping strategies to manage, reduce, alleviate stress, depression, anxiety and the constant sense of ‘overwhelm’ that prevails through our life years. All of my clients learn these powerful 2 minute techniques to quickly alleviate stress and feel a deep sense of calm. This is commonly known as ‘Grounding’ or ‘Centering’ in USA. I have received excellent feedback from my clients with my grounding techniques.
WHAT DOES ‘GROUNDING’ MEAN?
Understanding physiology helps add benefit to an activity. Grounding is a technique to connect back to the ‘ground’ or ‘Earth’. We are made of 5 elements: air, water, earth, fire and ethers. Our feelings are held in the heart chakra area in the center of our chest. We process our thoughts in the brain – which is away from the ground/earth. When we are stressed, we are essentially engaged in our ‘thoughts’ or ‘feelings’ – something that is more ‘airy’ in nature or in other words we are moving into our abstract, etheric body, away from the grounding reality of our biological self. The more stressed we get, the deeper we dive into the air, floating element which can give rise to feelings of insecurity, anxieties, worry, feeling unsafe, etc.
By grounding ourselves, we bring our attention back to the physical body, reconnect with the Earth we live on and that brings a sense of security and calm. It also helps us stay in the ‘HERE and NOW’ as vs. in the “What Was” or “What ifs”.
BENEFITS OF GROUNDING
- Immediate stress reduction
- Higher frustration tolerance
- A sense of emotional calm and security
- Better emotional immunity
- Direct impact on health and your relationships
- Increased focus at work
- Being more ‘present’ for your family
- Increased self-confidence
- Great technique to be used in depression, anxiety
- Excellent technique for high stress situations like interviews, exams, difficult situations, etc.
HOW TO GROUND YOURSELF
You need 2 to 4 minutes of your time. If you have more time, you can use upto 10 minutes as well but 2 minutes is enough too. Step 1 to 5 is the shortest grounding technique you can apply. You may continue if you have more time.
- Sit up or stand as straight as you, this helps move energy in a flow, through your central nervous system, creating circulation movements required for healing (that’s why we sit up straight during meditations or lie on our backs).
- Close your eyes
- Take your mind to your breath and notice how you are inhaling and exhaling. Feel the calm in the rhythm
- If there are any thoughts coming to your mind, allow them to pass like passing clouds
- Take your mind to your feet and deeply feel the textures around your feet
- Imagine your worries, thoughts, feelings are like extra clothes on you like a jacket or a robe. Remove the robe/jacket and put it away. You can also imagine your stress to be like falling leaves or rocks that you throw away.
- Bring your mind back your breathing. As you breathe out, imagine releasing all your uncomfortable feelings, fears, worries, feelings of being stuck, sad, angry or burdened and you breathe in, imagine taking in confidence, love, harmony, joy and a sense of safety.
- You may also imagine breathing in your favorite colors for that day in the form of rays or ribbons to add to a sense of comfort and calmness.
- Add your own creativity with a positive focus. E.g.: You may add shimmer around you, rays of white light falling above you.
- There are deeper levels of grounding which you can dive into. HEAR MY SHORT VIDEO TUTORIAL.
HOW OFTEN SHOULD WE GROUND OURSELVES?
Did you know that we are exposed to constant stimulation in so many ways in today’s world. Stimulation means the use of our 5 senses to take in information. We are constantly hearing sounds, seeing movements, feeling textures in the real and reel world combined. We are also unknowingly smelling subtle fragrances and eating at intervals which keeps our sense organs ‘heightened’. Since the sense organs are the gateway to our MIND (emotional body processing), soothing our sense organs. We also take in upto 75,000 thoughts in a day!
By now it must be easy for you to answer this question. We must ground ourselves DAILY, preferably twice or 3ce a day. After all it is a 2 minute activity.
YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ACTIVITY
Please share your thoughts and experience with this activity. I have seen massive changes in my clients with this simple, highly effective technique. I want you to know that small changes can create big impact. There is one KEY word here: CONSISTENCY. You cannot see an impact by doing this once or twice or without continuous commitment. If we cannot commit 2 minutes to ourselves daily, we are missing out on LIFE. We are losing ourselves to what matters most – our stability, our health, our family, our life!
ALSO READ: HOW TO MAKE PARENTING EASY
My 1st Love & How I Lost A Pot Of Gold
Please note: This is meant to be a fun / funny post just for laughs but with an important message about True Love.
So they say life has its own course, its own say, destiny which cannot be over-ridden and yet they also say that when God showers riches onto you, be sure to take them for it may not rain again. My love story goes something just like that. I was 13, 1994, the typical BEHENJI – I had 2 perfect enemies – MATH & FRENCH. They were always on my mind. I couldn’t sleep, eat or breathe without them! I wonder where did God find the space for a Boyfriend.
I mean I was too naïve to understand the meaning of L-O-V-E or even infatuation. But it was – written – in my destiny: – That I would meet someone super smart, super handsome, with a super I.Q., super sporty, super artistic, all-rounder and someone living super far from me whose home I was destined to visit on the perfectly imperfect Summer. And that one day I would reject it all and walk off from a ‘pot-of-gold’!
So, he proposed to me without any words while his family sat around me, no one realized. My heart skipped 10 beats. It was the perfect age and reason to bid into that infatuation aka LOVE FLU. And then a super sad, long distance, no real relationship began. All the viruses were going to hit us harder now.
We had never held hands, we had no real love thing going on. But we believed it was the Ultimate Love Bug. At least I did. I sent him letters which I realized years later that they probably never reached him – the middle person or the postman seemed to enjoy all my romantic creativity (booohoooo). It just created more distance as I wondered why he never replied and he wondered why I would not wait to marry him.
He had gifted me a beautiful drawing of a ‘dulhan’ waiting at the balcony for her prince to arrive. When I looked at that drawing and heard him tell me to wait 6 years, my thought went something like this – “That is beautiful drawing but you must be out of your mind. I am not W-A-I-T-N-G for any prince charming. I’m dragging you on the horse right now and I am painting it white if it is not. Tell me yes or no!”
What is hilarious is that then he tells me – Have you ever thought how a plane flies? I was like “huh?” What would that mean? It would mean that his super intelligent brain was obsessed with science and technology and he wouldn’t marry me until he fulfills his BIG DREAMS. Bluh, I almost puked. I hated science! I was like OMG, this is getting worse!
So finally after 6 years I did break up, well there was nothing built in the 1st place, we never went out or had any romantic moments, it was just a silly ‘label’ we had given each other. But I still remember the look on his face when I returned all his gifts, letters and drawings. He was very sad and wondered what happened. I was super confused. He never replied to my letters, never held my hand, never took me out and now he was requesting to not break up??
You might think this was the end of the story. No. This is where the funny part of my story and the real sad news begins.
Goddess Laxmi visited me a decade later and said – Rima I had your pot filled with gold. Remember the plane thing your 1st boyfriend had told you? He made his BIG DREAMS come true, he chased them all out and won! Why did you not listen to me??? At age 30, he is now a super-rich, super famous guy and you are still figuring out life! Only if you never rejected his idea of understanding ‘how the plane flies’!!! Hahaha. Well, O no. I did not know Goddess Laxmi was hidden behind that important SCIENCE question. L-O-L ;) Just kidding.
In all good intentions, this is a ‘fun’ post just to make you all laugh. This is the truth and drama of life. My life has always had some crazy, unexpected adventures which feel very hard in the process but later deserve a great laugh. I am glad we departed early because I am the ultimate People Person and he is the ultimate Tech. guy. We wouldn’t make a good match at all.
He now has a beautiful, loving wife and kids. He met his true love and is living a successful life and that makes me super happy to see. LOVE should never be about MONEY or SUCCESS.
Love is all about finding each other’s souls and cherishing the best and worst of each other and life TOGETHER. It is companionship through and through. If you don’t feel that with anyone, don’t try to push through.
We haven’t met since then but have spoken and been sort of in touch. I still admire his talents and what he has achieved is admirable. Here, I can’t share more about him or about his extra ordinary story of perseverance but I can say that he continues to inspire me and the world!
Moral of the Story – Laxmi Ma could be hiding behind any plane or question! Ha ha ;)
What to do and not do to have that partner you are craving for
This post does not apply to fun flings ;)
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