Venting Our Feelings

WOMEN, GOSSIP & A NO MAN’S LAND

WHAT HAPPENS TYPICALLY WHEN WOMEN MEET? HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS HUMOROUS, HONEST READ

Much of the essence of a woman comes from her talking. Imagine if we had a ‘Women Silence Day’ around the world, the noise pollution could remarkably drop. Be it that way for a month and men wouldn’t complain of ear infections… Ha ha.

The yummy recipes and food, cosmetics & beauty, home, children & pregnancy, health & exercise, men and more are the forever hottest topics among us ladies. We can be rightfully titled as the ‘liveliest walky talky magazines’ on this planet.

Going into details comes naturally to most of us. A new lipstick brand would be discussed for ten minutes: the shades, the shade number, the price and all possible stores you could find it on. The new clothes store on the block has been dissected to the core: all the brand names available, from where the clothes are imported and much more. We are the dictionary to what happens in homes, in stores and in town. Don’t you think more women than men should be hired as marketing heads?!

The all round counseling center is found among the ladies’ circle. You can bank your luck for getting tips on gardening, staying fit and healthy, making the best of your kitchen, getting your hairstyle right and running a home bank.

Overhear a conversation and you are bound to hear us share and support each other for the smallest of concerns: “I don’t understand why my kid doesn’t drink milk?” “I went berserk finding my car keys yesterday.” “You’ll be fine, don’t worry” and “I am just round the corner whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.” That reminds me not to forget the free of cost water resource that lies within us.

The ‘teary’ seasons are absolutely unpredictable for more than few men. It is definitely more difficult than hiking Mount Kilimanjaro or swimming Lake Victoria! “She was perfectly fine a minute ago; I wonder what tore her down!” Is that how men feel very often? Ha ha. I can’t help but laugh.

The fragile, ‘touch me not’ silk threaded girl friend takes a 360 degree alteration into a ‘dare you mess with me’ wife! The woman, who is full of mercy and sympathy for the neighbor’s dog and for your friend’s husband, is cruelly unkind with you. What a pity! “It is more difficult to tackle a wife than tackling a rotten boss”… I can imagine that being the punch line for an ‘All Men Magazine.’ The problem is most often men are busily entangled into our beauty and when it’s time for duty (take over the good husband role), you fail miserably. Men who have mastered ‘what women want’ are the ones with the kingly crowns.

Keeping aside the teary sessions, women don’t blank out comedy shows from their fun times. I haven’t seen a group of women depart without a light laughter or a heart filled smile.

“Did you notice our boss’s new hairstyle? He looks so funny!” says Aisha to Yesta. “Yes, looks like he has returned from some crazy ‘Adam found Eve’ on an island episode.” I have also known of girls who whistle to the hunk passing by. I’d be one of them in fact!

I was in the 5th grade (10 years old) when the boy in class called me ‘STUPID,’ my reaction was pretty much programmed to me and unexpected to him – I turned around and slapped him. Ha ha. The shock left him in great silence, the teacher never found out!  

Women are not unpredictable; men must know where to dig, when and how… Haha.

Well, I hope you had some fun reading this humorous article. Women are not that bad after all. The warmth of the Venus and the shield of the Mars, both are required in this world. 

Also read: STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR MOMS

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PARENTING, Self-Awareness

To do or not to? A Mom’s Eternal ‘Soup’ Opera

   SINGLE MOM? MARRIED yet SINGLE??

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY in Advance. This post is dedicated to Moms, Stay-at-home, Working, Single or just simply M-O-M-S; Also dedicated to those feeling very stressed as Moms or having stressful marriages. It may sound funny and yet truly a Mom’s Daily Opera can very well be feeling like they are in a ‘Soup’. Being a Life-Coach for Women (Women Empowerment Coach), I get to see that a lot with my clients. To do or not to do? To say or not to say? To ‘stay’ or not to stay? To prioritize their lives or not? … endless thoughts…

Living as a Single Parent is never easy, I grew up in one. My mom died when I was 6. We were a family of 3 – My dad, my elder sis and me. While we had massive emotional struggles both individually and collectively due to a whole range of factors, today I talk more in terms of Moms / Women who are Married and yet are Single Moms.  I mean that hundreds of moms are the ones taking 80% to 100% of the responsibility of child care and home management. I also talk about the moms who were married and later became Single Moms. I fall more so somewhere in between ;)

It has been an interesting and eye-opening ride. I have found immense blessings in the decisions I have taken to free up my internal space, emotional space and sense of freedom for self-expression. It is funny how despite the democracies we live in, thousands of Moms / Women live in relationships where they feel total lack of freedom of self-expression, even lack of freedom of thought! I was that Mom for half a decade! I was that Wife for a Decade! I was that Woman for 3 Decades!!!! Now?? No more! I stepped up to myself, to my life, to my rights, to my child and our future!

 WEEKEND BONANZA?! Moms always get it for free ;)

This weekend has been one of those weekends so typical of being almost a Single Mom. From Friday evening my mind’s pool has been scuba diving into this dire need to write a life-shaking article and I finally get to it on Sunday night at 11pm! …

An article on how we women feel trapped and keep ourselves woven into this endless victim-hood cycle of the necessary sacrifice we MUST do for our family. I don’t mean to generalize this to all women, neither to just women, there are men too that suffer and sacrifice. Yet my focus in this article and in all the work I do as a Women-Empowerment Coach and Psychologist is towards all the Asian, Indian and other Moms who feel culturally hemmed by the rigid beliefs shoved down our throats (metaphor!), literally since our conception.

Yes, since conception! This is because several beliefs are passed on to us through our mothers, the emotions they feel, thoughts they have, any suffering they feel or behavior patterns they have are passed on to us in our womb. In the womb, we receive our first teachings about re-living these emotional patterns of Victimhood, Persecution, Martyr Archetypes, etc. and pass then we pass them on to our children and future generations. Just like any other inherited illness like varicose veins, thyroid, diabetes, etc., it is like a trademark or a tendency we carry with our soul and then it gets activated when we encounter it socially.

 

         SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??

This means serious good news! It means that we have way more control over our destiny than we ever thought or believed. The genes we carry can be energetically re-woven and socially insulated when we choose to alter our emotional patterns, behaviors and self-defeating beliefs. This can be done in several ways. The one most effective for me and thousands of other women has been COUNSELING, LIFE-COACHING, PAST-LIFE REGRESSION, HYPNOTHERAPY, SRP or FAMILY CONSTELLATION, SELF-HYPNOSIS, GUIDED MEDITATIONS, REIKI, etc.

Believe it or not, in the past 2 years I have opened myself up to ALL of the above therapies and used a combination of EACH and ALL of these therapies to fish out a new baby out of me – a new ‘Self-Identity’ I mean. A new way of thinking, feeling and living. I have TRANSFORMED 280 degrees and continue to move towards the 360 mark! A big proof to that is my TWIN FLAME ACTIVATION and this super powerful journey that I am in. A second huge proof to this is the quality of LIVE VIDEOS, presentation and confidence that so many viewers tell me I clearly depict! A third proof is that now, I facilitate the powerful transformation of others. I can go on with the list of success and transformation I and others have found in me since all the major healing I have done. Above all, the happiness that spills out of me is at a totally different level. Clearing up the Generational Pathology that Women in my ancestral weave have inherited was probably one huge sigh of relief.

However, Family Constellation, SRP and Past life regression has its limitations. In that, it can clear up negative, stuck energy and soul contracts and yet we have to do our Inner Work in clearing up our belief systems, be willing to confront our fears, shames, guilts and grief, face the hardest and show willingness to change. No one can change our destiny but ourselves.

It is definitely not easy. It requires one to sit on a wired fence with a fire at the bottom and a sword hanging above. What I mean by that is the ‘fear’ part of confronting a whole new life-style against societal beliefs. Most women chicken out because of the high risk of social taboos and probable social rejection. Courage is one thing I have, for I cannot be a Revolutionary, a Leader if I can’t walk the talk! How can I guide other Moms and Women onto a saner life and path if I can’t show what Speaking Up means, what drawing strong boundaries means while continuing to be kind and unconditional in one’s acceptance of self and others. How can I motivate and encourage you to alter your identity and life-style if I cannot question and confront harmful societal and cultural practices.

Don’t get me wrong. One does not always have to bat out of a marriage or take extreme measures. The aim is ALWAYS to be objective about the next best steps and the final goal. If one can spark the beginning of a two way street, it is the way to go. Sometimes just putting your foot down and stop being the door mat can do wonders. Women are so used to giving endless and feeling empty within, the man almost never realizes how much is being taken for granted. Often times the problem is with us. We need to give less and do enough for ourselves so that our bucket of Love and Joy does not drain out like cooking what we love just as often as we cook what the family loves. Even practices like asking for care from the family when we are ill or drawing a boundary on how much and how often we will entertain guests can be super helpful in the long run. We receive no productive outcome/s when we just about don’t do that and also keep constantly complaining.

But then there are many women that have been or are being seriously abused or ones that are on an endlessly one street dead end curve; where there is almost no hope for recuperation or any real love and cooperation coming from the man no matter what one does. Some men clearly refuse counseling, mutual discussion or anything to do with healing the relationship. They may be in denial or in defensive mode and may even stay there forever!

Ultimately, you are the best judge of your next steps. You know deep in your heart what’s your truth and your sixth sense must be your best advocate. It knows! As long as you can differentiate between your 6th sense and your logic, and follow the deep nudge, you are good to go. As for me too, you may need a lot of VALIDATION in the early steps, and constant ones too! I asked for it more and more, again and again from my experts and my true well-wishers and today I am anything but Thankful a 100 times and more :)

         7K0A1247-3

                A POT OF ADVICE by ME

“The parents who think that they are staying in the marriage only for the kids are either having an excuse to run away from the fears of separation or are lacking perspective.

If we stay in a #marriage that harbors Bitterness, Harshness, Arguments, Lack of Love, Judgement and rejection despite all efforts, then we are showing our children that Relationships are a Burden and all about Bitterness. That to me, is not #Commitment, that is Foolishness!Killing our happiness by the fear of society or the fear of our children’s future is showing and teaching our children to do the same things in their future. It is Actually Killing their future to see a #Partnership that is Superficial, Contractual in Nature where both parents stay in a partnership merely for the Sake of it. Pretence is never healthy.

Stay in a marriage for #Love#Unity and #Companionship, our children need to see that. If we cannot show our children that, then we must show them LOVE by Being our Individual selves outside the Marriage. Sometimes #Divorce is Wisdom and a Gift to our children!”

~ Soul Food ~ by Coach Rima Desai ~ Happy Upcoming Mother’s Day!!

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PARENTING

BORN AGAIN

Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. The breath of a child softly pouring on my shoulder as my arms harness it with immeasurable love, was a fancy imagination. I remember being 15, holding an infant for the 1st time in my life who fell asleep from his cries in my cuddles. 13 years later when Pregnancy found its way to me, I was so ‘out there’ with my imagination of how great motherhood will be.

Blessed with a caring, pleasant girl, motherhood has been anything but a smooth ride. It is fun, it is fulfilling, it is breathtaking. It is also challenging, sometimes ugly, sometimes skirmish.

By the 1st few months after birth, I had forgotten my heels, small fancy purses, lovely hair styles, bright clothes and well done nails. I had in fact even forgotten myself. And it left like, just a few more days until 5 years flew by with a blink and suddenly it dawned to me “why is the mirror no more my friend?” “Why does my body and mind feel so tired?” “Where is the ambitious, driven Rima?”

I had done great as a mom, great as a wife and daughter in law as well but I had traded all that for ‘myself’. And so slow and steady re-began a journey of self-discovery. A journey of ‘life’ where now my child was my mentor and I was taking ‘birth’. She was here to teach me to love myself, remember myself, care for myself while also loving her, remembering her and caring for her.

How many of you MOMs have walked this path of OVERWHELM, FEELING LOST, FEELING BURNT while also enjoying the loving arms, the gentle kiss and huge smile from your little angel?

“~ I think tons, I think tons.. I feel the wave of the new breeze, it is calling you if you wish to touch it once, it is time to be born once again ~ ”

– An inspirational message to all moms by Rima Chheda – Desai @ Theguidingstar.org

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