PARENTING

FIVE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTING LIFE EASY

It is no surprise that parenting comes with huge lessons of ‘overwhelm’ – the common feeling shared by almost all parents if not all. Life feels like an overflowing fountain of ‘demands’ – not demands from children all the time but demands from life. Come to think of it, parenting is a wonderful SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. Many people do not completely understand the word spiritual. ‘Spiritual’ is anything that forces your ‘spirit’ to grow by having to go outside its comfort zone. Spiritual is anything that teaches us better values or to be a better version of ourselves. Having walked a wonderful parenting journey for 7 years and mentoring many parents through articles and direct conversation, I will like to share 5 simple ways to lessen that ‘overwhelming’ feeling and reduce your frustrations.

  1. Organize your home and learn management skills
  2. Prioritize social life
  3. Plan your career life
  4. Realistic expectations from your child
  5. Realistic expectations from yourself
  1. Organize your home and learn management skills – Organization is the master of leadership skills. A great leader is the one who has the skills to multi-task, prioritize, put things in order, stay focused and organized. Remember that being a parent is a lot about being a LEADER.

    What happens if your supervisor at work reaches work late, leaves work even later, doesn’t eat on time, has no proper places to file his work and has no idea what the day and week ahead will look like? Same is with you as a parent.

    One part of organization is your physical space: how well are your things and your kid/s things kept? Can you tell me in your sleep, where ANYTHING is kept without having to get up – whether it is anything in your kitchen, bedroom, dining, etc. Use organizing bins, trays, holders to make sorting easier. E.g. I place puzzles in zip lock bags, her stationery in a heavy-duty organizer on her table, soft toys in a laundry basket, all bed sheets in one drawer, a drawer for art work, one for miscellaneous items, one for puzzles, etc. My bedroom and kitchen is super organized too.

    Another part of organization is time management. How well are you with your routines? If you sleep and wake up more or less the same time daily, your life will be 80% better with your kids than you ever estimated. Your sleep-rest and body cycle has a huge impact on your mood, on your health and amount of energy you feel. Same is with your kids. Do not let them rule your routines, take charge, set time boundaries for them with T.V., eating, sleep, etc.

    What you feel, you transfer to your kids. Mentally plan your meals for the next day rather than having to wake up with a huge frustration question mark of – “Now what to cook today?” Standing in front of the kitchen cabinets, scratching your head over breakfast and lunch deals for the day is poor management. Think of every minute of your life as a great investment towards your kids. How many minutes do you want to waste and how many do you want to multiply?

  2. Prioritize your social life – Yes, we love to party and meet, greet and laugh. But Parenting is a lot about learning to make adjustments, compromises and changes in one’s life. Before my child, I would be out every Saturday and Sunday with husband and his group of friends. Once my child was born, not only did I have to change my routines for the 1st few months, but I made permanent changes to my social life.

    I don’t mean to say stop having fun but the AMOUNT and DURATION of your outings can be reconsidered. How much do you want to cook for your guests? Is it important to ‘impress’ them or to spend time with your children? Each day as a trade. When I plan a day in my mind, I ask myself- how many hours do I want to spend today with my child, based on that I make my other decisions. I may not be able to deny guests from coming home or having to attend parties but I surely DEFINE how much energy I want to put into preparations or having to stay at a party. My time with my child is not the time that is LEFT OVER after everything is taken care of, my time with my child is the 1ST thing I set aside or plan for the day and then everything else revolves around it.

  3. Plan your career life – Once again it is about need vs. demand. What do I demand from my life vs. what I need. For 6 years I dedicated my life, time, energy to my child because I CAREFULLY CALCULATED it this way – once she starts full time school at age 5, she will NEVER EVER AGAIN IN HER LIFE have a FULL WEEK with me at home. She will be spending more time at school than home and never again will I get to PLAN or SPEND 40 hours in a week with her. Hence, I rather set my career aside for those 5 years, even if there were financial challenges, I rather save money and my time with my child than give away that time to a stranger in a day care for whom she will be ‘one of the 20 kids’. That was my choice, you must make yours to what suits you bets. Do understand that time with your kids will never return and make a wise choice based on that along with all the other needs of yourself and your family.
  4. Realistic Expectations from your child – Would you rather have a ‘smart’ child who attends 5 or 7 different classes and tops in math, academics, dance, etc. or would you rather have a child who tops in ‘the language of love’. While classes can teach your child ‘skills’, sharing valuable time with the parent teaches the child invaluable lessons of love and self-growth. Exploratory play at home can be nurtured by the parent which teaches many skills to the child along with learning to build a bond, show and receive care, feel secure and important.  Also, not all kids are made for the ‘A+’ game. Grades is not everything and success is not correlated to grades alone.

    Don’t overburden them with expectations that their body or mind is not made for. Focus on their strengths, explore their talents and be realistic about their limitations. A rational and loving approach will make your parenting life easier, simpler and more successful.

  5. Realistic expectations from yourself – Now tell me that you do this – take over way too much than you can handle. You invite guests today and then accept the birthday invitation for tomorrow, then realize you had bought tickets to a party, then have groceries left to do, wish to be a super mom but also need to be super sexy, want a super skin, miss watching the latest movies and can’t stop browsing the entire world’s Facebook! P-R-I-O-T-I-Z-E !!!

Your kids do not need a super mom. Just be a M-O-M, that itself is great. Chose the top 5 important things in your life. E.g. here is my list:

  1. Spend at least an hour with my daughter on weekday and 5 total hours with her on weekend.
  2. Health – exercise 4 days a week, eat healthy 5 days a week, care for skin / hair twice a month (not the priority right now).
  3. Career – Advance in one’s career at a steady pace and build business slowly on the side.
  4. Socialize – Have an enjoyable outing 2ce a month if not more and call any close friends and family members every 2 weeks. (No receiving calls on weekdays or times when I spend with her).
  5. Learn – learn something new every month either from book, training, observation, etc. (No reading news or news channel, Facebook only to learn new skills).

I hope this article helps you settle down some of your frustrations and overwhelming feelings of parent-hood.

It is nice to be hopeful that life will continue well and it is wise to be realistic that life can change anytime! Make the most of today. Investment in your kids is the greatest investment you can ever make and that is not about how much money you invest in them or their future, it is about how much QUALITY INTERACTION you live with them in this very moment, HERE and NOW.

Also READ:

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THE SIMPLE SMOOTHIE SOLUTION – for Kids, Parties and You!

Today I am sharing a very quick, easy smoothie recipe for you. It is perfect for anyone who needs to have more nutrition run down their gut; and can be used for those allergic to dairy. You may use dairy or non-dairy milk for this smoothie. Make it a part of your daily snack, breakfast or be a charming host.If your kids are anything like mine, ‘fuzzy’ is a word often used. She is a typical ‘vat’ personality – dislikes eating, lazy to chew, rather play than eat! While I worry about her nutritional needs being met, it also helps me get creative.1 111.jpg

This smoothie was such a creative attempt. I just took whatever came to my mind, put them all together and ‘churn’ went the grinder. In just a few minutes, we had a ‘Happy Mom’, a ‘Healthy Snack’ and a clean kitchen.

MAKES: 2.5 regular sized glasses

INGREDIENTS:

  1. Orange – one medium size
  2. Banana – one medium size
  3. Rice Milk – 1.5 glasses filled to the top or Milk or Soy Milk
  4. Ice – a few cubes
  5. Sugar – 1 Tbsp
  6. Elaichi (Cardamom) – 1 small pod. You can use half if you want a milder flavor

HOW TO:

  1. Mix it all
  2. Churn
  3. Pour
  4. Drink

OPTIONAL: You may strain it in a big strainer for extremely fuzzy kids, to remove the orange fibers. You may also use any milk – dairy, rice or soy. I used Rice milk and that is the best I can vouch for in terms of taste and consistency! It was gone in seconds, we all loved it!

VARIATION 1: 

  1. Watermelon
  2. Banana
  3. Rice milk
  4. Sugar
  5. Elaichi

Mix, churn, strain, pour, enjoy!

VARIATION 2:

  1. Grapefruit
  2. Orange
  3. Rice milk
  4. Sugar
  5. Vanilla extract – 1/6th tsp

Mix, churn, strain, pour, enjoy!

I hope this has given a quick breakfast or snack option for yourself and your kids. It is filling, energizing and absolutely lip smacking! More so, your kids can easily make this with you and it can be a great add on for your parties!

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Self-Awareness

The health secret long forgotten, save your bills and trips to the doctor

Get to every video with one click. Many world secrets revealed about astrology, health, life-coaching, dating and more: Get to every video with one click. Many world secrets revealed: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCps8gUnc4Zfp3xKw62fp4_g

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Astrology, Self-Awareness

When NOT to get an Astrology reading

O how we are attracted to the play of Planets in our lives. Since we can remember, humans have turned to astrology for guidance and hope. And don’t these planets impact us? Of course they do! The sun’s rays impacts us? If yes, then so does every other planet in our solar system.  Astrology is real, it works! However, if one gets a wrong reading, is misguided or feels misled, then that doesn’t mean astrology is wrong. It simply means that not all astrologers are informed or talented enough to be able to provide the ‘authentic’, ancient astrology or that it may have been a mismatch or that just like other industries, some astrologers are ‘commercial’ and some are sincere, learned astrologers. Whatever the case, it is important to not ‘judge’ this ancient science with the lack of one’s knowledge or a bad experience.

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One of the big reason why astrology pulls us towards it is that we ‘believe’ that it will give us HOPE for a better future. That is often the reason many people show their charts to astrologers. Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima.

Astrology may be able to give us hope but it was primarily built to guide people in seeking important answers related to guiding their soul’s spiritual advancement, choosing a career, being mindful of one’s karmic backlog and finding solutions to life’s problems related to relationships or etc… 

This is not a post for anyone in specific, it is to all those who have in the past, and still consult me with their charts – if you want HOPE, you do not need to show your chart to gain it. A horoscope cannot guarantee anything is going to be ‘better’. Neither can it change things magically. In fact, it could point out the several problems that the individual must address. What happens then to one’s psyche?

In my consultations to people, it has helped my clients to be affirmed of challenges they perceive, have or feel and finding more ‘internalized’ solutions as vs. external, superficial remedies like gem stones or havans.

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Working on our ‘character’, our ‘sanskars’, our attitude towards things can do a lot more for us than having a chart read simply for ‘HOPE’ of things turning in your favor. What if I see something worse coming up? Then what do you want the astrologer to tell you?

   “Showing one’s chart cannot guarantee a better future, working on oneself can!!!” 

Ways to work on oneself: Life-Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Spiritual living, Meditation, Social Service, Life-style change including food and exercise.

When can astrology help?

Astrology is a wonderful, scientific tool which can be used towards one’s benefit in many ways. It can help provide insights into which career or which field of study to pursue, the purpose of one’s birth, what did the soul pledge to do before it chose that body, best time for marriage, child birth, how to reduce certain health or financial hazards and best move through challenging planetary times…

I hope this information helps you make better choices for a brighter future. Remember there is no escape from Self-Work: In our years of life, we have thought ill of people, judged others, been critical, harsh, boastful, greedy, deceived others, acted out of insecurity, etc. Through life-coaching and other modalities, when we clear out our past, we 100% create a pathway for a Brighter Future and then, it doesn’t matter what our chart says!!!

Also know that when a solution is mentioned from an astrological point of view, that is probably the ‘best’ solution for your particular context. Clients sometimes hope for ‘easier’ solutions.  Imagine if I am ill, you are giving me medicine for my ailment but I don’t like this medicine, could I ask for an ‘easier’ medicine? … when we show our charts, it gets easier for us if we are ‘willing’ to make the changes mentioned. The astrologer is not a magician: cannot change things around for you. Short cut solutions do not work. They are simply quick fixes that produce weak results.

However, if you are ready to receive GENUINE guidance and are committed to self work, want to grow spiritually and personally, be guided sincerely, then yes, there is a lot to gain from an astrology reading!

Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima

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Falafel Fiesta – Yum!!

Chick pea paste with Tahini Dip on the right

Chick pea paste with Tahini Dip on the right

Although Falafel is a Mid-East recipe, every Indian knows how to incorporate his /her own taste and definition to a recipe from around the world. In case if you haven’t already heard, Indians are good ‘Creative Copy-Cats (CCC)’, the way I put it! lol

So here is my CCC Falafel half inspired by me watching my talented aunt cook Falafel a few years ago and half inspired by my crazy mind. This purely Vegetarian dish can also be made VEGAN by keeping out the Optional Ingredients and can be awed for its nutritional fillers- high proteins, calcium, iron, with moderate carbs and fats.

We need:

  1. Butter as per needed on the bread slice when preparing final serving
  2. ½ Onion – white or red (in India onions are way smaller in size, may require to use 2 onions, refer to my picture below to know the quantity)
  3. 2 inch stick of cinnamon
  4. 2 cloves
  5. 1 tsp black pepper – crushed or powder
  6. Sesame seeds – ½ cup
  7. * Optional ingredient: Yogurt – ½ cup
  8. Salt as per needed for each time of use
  9. 1 cup chick peas or garbanzo beans soaked for 6hours.
  10. 1 big palm sized potato or equivalent number of small size
  11. * Optional: Paneer – cottage cheese, crushed to make half to one cup. Make at home by boiling and tearing boiling milk with vinegar or lemon. You can find tons of recipes for how to make paneer at home or get Ready paneer from store. In Usa, you will find Paneer in the frozen section of Indian stores
  12. * Optional: Cheese – 1/4th cup
  13. Tabasco: 4drops
  14. Sriracha Sauce: 1/4th to ½ tsp (as spicy as you want

HOW TO COOK IT

  1. 20150408_181124 Roast white sesame seeds in a non-stick pan on med to low heat until they turn light brown. Stir every minute, making sure you are tossing those seeds around pretty well. They do love carousel rides!
  2. Once light brown remove from stove and allow to cool in a cool area of home, preferably out of the kitchen and under the fan (make sure your fan is clean ;))
  3. Meanwhile, we will prepare the base of our stuffing.
    20150408_180147 chop fine. Red onion is ok too.
  4. Pressure cooker or any untensil to boil the garbanzo beans.
  5. In med. to big sized Pressure Cooker (or Rice cooker), 1 Tbsp of oil; when hot, add 2 inch stick of cinnamon, 2 cloves, 1 tsp crushed black pepper or black pepper powder.
  6. add onions, roast on med to high flame till translucent in color.
  7. Add garbanzo / chick peas and fill water to 2-3 inches above chick peas.
  8. To make the chick peas softer, add salt to
  9. Boil in cooker with 6 whistles. (Adjust whistle no. as per your cooker)

20150408_180303 Kept to boil in pressure cooker

10. Meanwhile we will make our own version of ‘ Tahini Dip’. Crush the cooled sesame seeds in a dry grinder 1st 20150408_183101

11. Once crushed, add 1 Tbsp cooking oil to the dry, ground sesame powder. Churn it once if needed. Add 3 Filled Tbsp of Yogurt (*optional, this is my own addition) and store this dip in a tightly covered container to preserve the flavor.

12. When the pressure cooker cools, separate the potato from the chick peas

13. Peel potato skin. Mash the boiled, peeled potato and add paneer – cottage cheese. Top with salt and 1tsp of red chilli powder (add more or less as per requirement)

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14. Add quarter cup cheese

15. Mash the chickpeas, potato, paneer all in one

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16. Add salt, tabasco 4 drops, 1/4 to 1/2 tsp Sriracha sauce (as spicy as needed)

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17.  images All the parts are ready. Unlike Traditional Falafel, I do not make them into balls. I leave it like a paste.

Chick pea paste with Tahini Dip on the right

Chick pea paste with Tahini Dip on the right

18. Take your Bread slices, add butter, layer with tahini dip, chick peas paste, bite into this delightful dish!

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Delicious Bhel recipe by Rima

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Bhel is a highly popular dish in North India. The main ingredient is roasted or shallow fried puffed rice. There are lots of raw vegetables and two highly nutritious dips (chutneys) added to the puffed rice.

This is my own (Rima Desai’s) unique recipe to make your bhel even more nutritious:

  • Mix veggies of your choice – cucumber, corn, onion, potato, tomato, broccoli, carrot, onion, etc. lightly salted
  • Roasted cashew, peanut and almond powder all mixed together
  • Raisins and pomegranate – optional
  • Cilantro chutney (dip) and Tamarind + dates chutney (dip)
  • Ready Bhel mix or home roasted kurmura (puffed rice) mixed with bhujia (sev or fried Bengal gram snack)
  • Chaat masala and cilantro.

MIX IT ALL and feast!

Google image credits
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