Tag Archives: death

PARENTING

The Whisper of an Invisible Star

“Dear Woman, a Mother is the one who removes the thorns from one’s heart with a whisper of Love. She is the feather that floats you from a drowning sea and the bucket of Love with seamless boundaries.

 At the moment you feel guilty for the mistakes you have done, resentful for what you haven’t, angry for what others did to your or sad for what you don’t have, simply lift your head up and walk up to a Mirror. Look at the person in front of you in the eye in that Mirror and say to her –

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“For the times when you have been a Mother, for the millions of seconds when you have forgotten your needs for that of your child…

…for the days when you cried alone because you showered smiles at your baby,

…for the nights you awoke worried for someone else’s safety,

…for all that you have selflessly thought and done for your entire family,

…for the times when you haven’t cooked what you loved to fit the joy of the rest,

…for the times when your body hurt and you mustered the courage to go on and

…for a trillion of the billion seconds when you lived up to your duty to be a Mother, you deserve a shower of Love, a bucket of Hugs and Mountains of Flowers

…for you must know that you are not about what you sacrifice, what you feel guilty about, what you did not do right

…for you must care for yourself first, love yourself first, stop always putting the family first

…for you must start showing your children what love truly means, not sacrifice but filling your bucket, appreciating yourself, standing up for yourself, being true to who are and need, making powerful requests and drawing powerful boundaries from the irrational, sacrificial expectations others may have from you. 

…for you deserve to be as much a human being as all others, for we must transform what being a woman means and show our children a new future

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For today is that day like every other day when you get to Celebrate Who You are – a Mother. For you are the ultimate Angel in someone’s world, for you are the whole and the soul for them, for those little twinkling eyes and hearts you ignite with joy and hope every single day. For if you weren’t here, their world would be Dark and Lonely”. 

 

 
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And for that, just for that, Love Yourself Unconditionally. For you are the Divine, for you are a M-O-M! How lucky that you are, that I am, we are! For not a million dollars can win the innocence we experience every day, in the hearts of the purest, through the smiles of our little Angels. 

There are only 2 entities one can pray to. One is God and other is a Mother. While God teaches us Godliness, a Mom executes it every second”. <3

 
~ by Women Empowerment Coach Rima Desai
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Also read for Mother’s Day:

  https://theguidingstar.org/2018/04/23/dailysoupopera/

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parent of the month, Venting Our Feelings

The Biography of a Beautiful, Courageous Mother

Parent of the Month II (May 2015): LATE MRS. MAYA CHHEDA

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 Today: 14th May, is my Late Mom’s birthday – Mrs. Maya Chheda. ‘My Parent of the Month’ Series will be incomplete without her mention. I will like to dedicate this post to her with the intention that it will reach her wherever she is. I believe that she did a lot more for others than she received. I intend that with this post, her soul ‘hears’ that she is valued, loved, cared for, and MISSED by many of us even now; that I owe her my life and I Thank her for all the goodness that she instilled in my sister and me in early years. She passed away at an early age of 33 years and I missed out on learning a lot more things from her.

Today I was working at my laptop when suddenly my daughter began singing – “Happy Birthday to you…” Oblivious in my work, I asked her whose birthday was it? She ignored my question and continued singing in the end addressing it to her grandma (my mom). I was thrilled! :)

 

MOM’S BACKGROUND 

Mom was born in a large family of 10 children. She was the last of them all and sadly for her, she didn’t get a chance to even see her dad. Her father passed away when she was yet to be born.

The growing years for all the children including her were filled up numerous hardships. Her mom (my grandma) had to financially support the family and also look after so many children. Even though grandma was physically present, she was emotionally missing from mom’s life. Mom was brilliant in academics and she received support from her mom and siblings to study. She was about to finish her Doctorate but did not end up giving the very last paper!

In her own life, mom had considerable financial struggles while she brought us up. She did the best in giving us the love and support she could. There were times of severe financial difficulty and I heard from my elders that she would not eat a single slice of fruit because she would save them to give it to my sister and me.
From the vague memory that I have of my mom, I remember that she would have us recite religious prayers before sleeping, from a very young age. Those values which she gave me in the first years of life, did remain with me and I can say that they came to my ‘rescue’ in my dark times. It helped me immensely to have faith in God and believe in praying.

 “Wherever you are Mom, I want to Thank You for embedding religious and moral values in me at a very early age and giving us all the care and love you did. We cherish that and love you”.

Below are heart-felt shares from some of her family members:

NIECE

“I loved her a lot. She was very intelligent and religious. She had studied Jain religion in deep. She was an expert in cooking and her pani puri was the world’s best. I was very fond of her. She was my ideal and I always wanted to be like her. Your Mom always believed in equality between girl and boy. She never approved of gender bias and clearly corrected those who discriminate between their son and daughter. I still remember her saying that one should give equal love to all children. I am going to feel her loss all my life”.

  

BROTHER-IN-LAW

 “As her name suggests, MAYA, she was full of ‘love’. She was like a sister to me. She helped her sister (my wife) to get married in spite of her partial disability. She put an ad in Mumbai Samachar newspaper. Because of Sister Maya’s help, today I have a wonderful wife and daughter. 

She was the most beautiful person in the family by looks and by heart. She would treat guests as God and her sacrifice and love for the family was unmatching. She has helped my wife in many ways. When our apartment was getting painted for 9 days, she took my wife – her elder sister to her home forcibly because she knew her sister had allergy to paint. And in those 9 days of stay, even though Sister Maya had her own difficulties, she treated my wife (her elder sister) excellent. 

We all miss her a lot. Maybe God had a plan to have her meet her father in heaven and hence took her away from us so early. She has been a blessing and she has left behind 2 beautiful Angel Daughters. May God Bless her and Keep her united with all family members here and in heaven”.

 DAUGHTERS

 We mutually remember that Mom used to knit sweaters for us. She was super talented. And she always made our birthdays special by making THREE cakes for us. I clearly remember one of the Strawberry or Pink cake that she had made. It used to be Chocolate, Strawberry, and maybe Pineapple. We know that Mom loved us a lot and did many special things for us.

 I remember when I would go down to play without shoes and get hurt with nails from the playground or the times when mom would call us back home. She also taught us to help in the kitchen from young age as often her health would not be good.

  “Mom I always bake cake for your grand-daughter’s birthday and she loves it. If you were here today, I would bake THREE cakes for You! I trust that you are well wherever you are and may you celebrate that life with Love and Joy You were a very courageous person and you have passed that on to us. Thank You Mom for everything!”

from all of us :)

SISTER

 Maya was extremely talented and affectionate by nature. She was good looking, independent, and smart. – She was very fond of keeping a beautiful, neat,  and tidy home. Her interests and talents included cooking, stitching, and socializing. She enjoyed inviting people and was loved by her entire family because of her loving and generous nature. She had wonderful handwriting too. She loved her daughters immensely; even though she was strict with them in her discipline rarely have I seen a mother who loves her children so deeply.  I still resent the fact that she didn’t complete her doctorate and that she struggled a lot with her kids in the apartment she lived in. I always remember her sharing her wish to come to USA. Whatever I say about her will be less. She left behind a lot of memories in our hearts. Her sudden loss is a wound that cannot be healed.

SISTER II

If I have to sum up in just few words, I can say that Maya was my best friend.
When we were young we shared the same mattress to sleep together, knowing that we had a highly modest upbringing. We laughed, cried, fought, and confided in each other. Many a times she fought with entire family for me! She was the only one I could speak out my heart to about some things that I could not share with anyone else. I think I was v.protective about her. I miss her immensely!———

Thank You everyone for reading this article and for blessing her soul :) It is easier to write about others than to write about someone of your own. 

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