Mayur Chheda ~ September 2015

Dearest Dad, on your birthday we wanted you to know that you are

We know that your age is

Well, whatever, we think you are 41 so you are!!

Dad, you are special in so many ways! We love it when you:

– Give us a bath

– Drop us daily to

and the Sundays we spend with you because

You take us

to the MALL

and

Fly in the garden

Today is the day to tell you that we LOVE all the fun things you do with us.

…And Dad… who can be a better

You gets books, chocolates and toys for our stomach!! Ha ha.

You are the greatest!!

(Even though you cannot cook or clean like Mom!!!)

Cooking

PEDA / PENDA – Indian Sweet / Dessert

This recipe comes from Public Request. Many of you have requested this, so here it is. Email me or write to me here with any questions. For the base, I follow a certain recipe, I have posted the link below and then I re-form it my style. I have shared sweet with many friends from different cultures – Indian, American, Other Asians and luckily this sweet has everyone’s smiles and thumbs up!

Follow this link to make your peda and then follow my add-ons below to make it so much more delicious!!!

Peda

Once the base is ready, this is what you get and do:

Ball it, flat it, cut with cookie cutter. Repeat till you have used all the base.

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MY ADD-ONS: All of them are optional. You can leave out whichever you wish to not add.

Cake Sprinkles – any
Cardamom – 1full tsp.
Nutmeg powder – 1/4th tsp
Pistachio powder – 1 to 4 tsp depending on your taste
Almond powder – 2 tsps
Vanilla essence – 1/4 tsp
Fennel seed powder – 1/4 tsp
Saffron few strands or Saffron syrup 1/4 to 1/2 tsp – check for sweetness prior to adding

Mix all the ingredients including the sprinkles. Decorate as You Wish

Astrology, Self-Awareness

When NOT to get an Astrology reading

O how we are attracted to the play of Planets in our lives. Since we can remember, humans have turned to astrology for guidance and hope. And don’t these planets impact us? Of course they do! The sun’s rays impacts us? If yes, then so does every other planet in our solar system. Astrology is real, it works! However, if one gets a wrong reading, is misguided or feels misled, then that doesn’t mean astrology is wrong. It simply means that not all astrologers are informed or talented enough to be able to provide the ‘authentic’, ancient astrology or that it may have been a mismatch or that just like other industries, some astrologers are ‘commercial’ and some are sincere, learned astrologers. Whatever the case, it is important to not ‘judge’ this ancient science with the lack of one’s knowledge or a bad experience.

One of the big reason why astrology pulls us towards it is that we ‘believe’ that it will give us HOPE for a better future. That is often the reason many people show their charts to astrologers. Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima.

Astrology may be able to give us hope but it was primarily built to guide people in seeking important answers related to guiding their soul’s spiritual advancement, choosing a career, being mindful of one’s karmic backlog and finding solutions to life’s problems related to relationships or etc…

This is not a post for anyone in specific, it is to all those who have in the past, and still consult me with their charts – if you want HOPE, you do not need to show your chart to gain it. A horoscope cannot guarantee anything is going to be ‘better’. Neither can it change things magically. In fact, it could point out the several problems that the individual must address. What happens then to one’s psyche?

In my consultations to people, it has helped my clients to be affirmed of challenges they perceive, have or feel and finding more ‘internalized’ solutions as vs. external, superficial remedies like gem stones or havans.

Working on our ‘character’, our ‘sanskars’, our attitude towards things can do a lot more for us than having a chart read simply for ‘HOPE’ of things turning in your favor. What if I see something worse coming up? Then what do you want the astrologer to tell you?

“Showing one’s chart cannot guarantee a better future, working on oneself can!!!”

Ways to work on oneself: Life-Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Spiritual living, Meditation, Social Service, Life-style change including food and exercise.

When can astrology help?

Astrology is a wonderful, scientific tool which can be used towards one’s benefit in many ways. It can help provide insights into which career or which field of study to pursue, the purpose of one’s birth, what did the soul pledge to do before it chose that body, best time for marriage, child birth, how to reduce certain health or financial hazards and best move through challenging planetary times…

I hope this information helps you make better choices for a brighter future. Remember there is no escape from Self-Work: In our years of life, we have thought ill of people, judged others, been critical, harsh, boastful, greedy, deceived others, acted out of insecurity, etc. Through life-coaching and other modalities, when we clear out our past, we 100% create a pathway for a Brighter Future and then, it doesn’t matter what our chart says!!!

Also know that when a solution is mentioned from an astrological point of view, that is probably the ‘best’ solution for your particular context. Clients sometimes hope for ‘easier’ solutions. Imagine if I am ill, you are giving me medicine for my ailment but I don’t like this medicine, could I ask for an ‘easier’ medicine? … when we show our charts, it gets easier for us if we are ‘willing’ to make the changes mentioned. The astrologer is not a magician: cannot change things around for you. Short cut solutions do not work. They are simply quick fixes that produce weak results.

However, if you are ready to receive GENUINE guidance and are committed to self work, want to grow spiritually and personally, be guided sincerely, then yes, there is a lot to gain from an astrology reading!

Seek an Astrology Consultation from Rima

parent of the month

The Biography of a Fearless Parent

~ Copyrights reserved.

Parent of the Month (July 2015): Deepak Chheda: aka ‘BHAISHREE’

“The waves of the sea tide high and low to test the strengths within you. They rise up high to see if you can fly when you cannot swim. They bow down low when they know that you shall glow even through a whole bunch of grey clouds!” ~ Dedicated to Dad by Rima D.

It is tough enough to be a Parent, think of being a Single Parent to two young girls with no real career or earning to begin with. In a NEED TO GET INSPIRED?! Read how this parent fearlessly faced all the challenges that life hunted him with…

Dad was just about to be 34 years when Mom’s sudden demise struck him with immense shock and grief. Then, he had an older daughter at 9 years and me at 6 years. Call it trauma or chaos, he not only had two daughters to care for but also an immense financial burden.

I still remember the day when I was wondering why people all around me are all dressed in white and why they are all crying. What would I understand at 6 years of age? One of the following day, there was an exaggerated silence in our extended living room. Dad was sitting quiet on the 2-3 seater sofa we had – the only furniture that accompanied the long room. Everything seemed empty, not only our hearts, but also our home, and it felt like even the dead living room was crying to be more ‘busy’. I was wearing my white and red two-piece night dress with red hearts on the pockets, beautiful frills. It was my favorite dress. I asked dad – “Where is mom?” He sat there with no response. I can only imagine, how life’s painful demands must have blown upon dad like a loud, commanding trumpet that shakes us from our dearest dream. But he made it through…!

I have seen Dad take heavy loans in an attempt to give us just basic living. We lived in a huge home which was granted by grandpa but besides of that, we literally struggled for even basic clothes or good food. People judged us from the home we had and thought we were rich. We also lived in a suburb that belonged to the elite class since grandpa built his home there and we had cousins that were truly very well off. Our family was socially knit and religiously driven. Hence we had several rituals to attend many times in a month and when all of this is put together, dad had a lot to keep up to: The worry of building his business from scratch, educating his daughters while on a heavy loan, having someone take care of us after school (since school ended by 1pm); get us enough clothes to keep up with the family and religious rituals, have maids to help us with house work – which was always a huge challenge, and a lot more… I remember his tears and worry when his very own close family members wanted to snatch our home and have us come on the streets. Dad had a legal battle to win to save his two daughters from being homeless, I remember that day when, the little child became his parent and said – “It will be okay dad” but inside my heart, I was hurt, scared, in anger. I remember tons of days of darkness, sadness, struggles in our lives where dad had to fight many social, emotional and financial battles…

I don’t think even a 100 pages can suffice for what I would want to express or vent you may say. I can say that no matter what faults others find, I can vouch for what he did right! In spite of massive financial burden and almost no support from outside, he gave us the best education. He put us in the most competitive and expensive school in one of the most elite areas of the prestigious Mumbai City!

That education has today led me to be this person who is writing on this blog, serving the community, and build a personality that can adapt to any cultural backdrop across the world. I haven’t had a problem conversing in English and interacting with the general public across different countries. My School played big role in it!

I am honored to have learnt some amazing things from dad:

Excellent Organizational Skills: Until date, I haven’t met anyone who can beat dad in his organizational skills.
Social Skills: Over the years, I saw dad as very sociable. He was friendly, helpful and was quick to make them feel comfortable and good about themselves.
Hard work and the value of being Responsible: Maybe there are people more hardworking than my dad or maybe there aren’t! I cannot owe him enough to teach me this important value. Dad gave his best swim across the tough tides of life. He never backed from his responsibilities even when he had several strong enemies in his business and life. I witnessed him face them all with great courage.
God-fearing and religious – Dad exposed us to deep religious knowledge of Jainism and its rituals. Sometimes it felt like it was too much for a child but today I cherish those experiences and knowledge. It has imparted great wisdom and strength into me. He believed in God and taught us values like being kind, never eat animals, etc.. By belief in God and by modelling courage, he taught us to be Brave and Optimistic in life.
Skills with Kids: Dad is just super with kids. He did great in having cousins stay overnight, arranging games and activities with them, teaching us in fun yet educational ways, entertaining the younger tots, etc. I subconsciously learnt a lot about playing with kids by watching dad over the years.
Have the Faith: Dad taught without the use of words, that having faith and having an optimistic ‘expectation’ out of Life, always leads us to a ‘good’ place. He always taught me – “Never fear”.
Strong cultural roots: I learnt to interact with elders, be courteous, be rooted to my homeland, to my religion, culture, be curious of other cultures, etc all from dad through his wise advices and by observing him.
Business Skills: I have observed him to be an honest, fierce and powerful businessman.

I have learnt a lot from him and still continue to. No parent is perfect and no parent should be, because all that matters if we are bonded with ‘Love’. Love makes it Perfect.

“Dad I am Honored for all that I have learnt from you. You deserve all the success that is coming to You for Jee and me know how much you have invested into us and into life! We love You Unconditionally and so do your Grand-children”. Also, a Big Thank You to Jinal di for participating in this and for being a great sister through and through all the years till now”.

Elder Daughter: JINAL

“Whatever I am today is only and only because of my Father. A highly organized person and extremely dedicated to his duties he has brought us up in a very cultured and disciplined environment. Playing the role of a mother and father is not easy. We have seen hardships he has faced in order to raise us so diligently. Spiritual and honest in his ways, he has given us a strong base to face the outside world. He always wears a smile and his simplicity adds a charm to his personality.

He can be like a child with his grandchildren and mold himself easily to his surroundings. Words are not enough to say or justify what I owe to him. Also Dad, Sarthak receives so much joy learning and playing with you”.

A sincere and heartfelt ‘THANK YOU’ to you Dad for all that you have done for us. Love You!

BHAISHREE’S PARENTS – My Grandparents :))

BHAISHREE’S ACTIVITIES

Dad continues to live independently by himself since 9 years now. He is as active as before but is living a simpler and a much more religious life now. He is now fiercely active in the Jain religious spectrum with his organization https://www.facebook.com/pages/International-Jain-Foundation-IJF-Mumbai/

He is working towards creating more awareness of and support for the Jain Sect. His recent, Jain event in Mumbai was embraced with a huge sucess. He is commonly and respectfully referred to as ‘Bhaishree’ by all who know him in recognition of the work he is doing for the Jain Community. This name has been ‘gifted’ to him by a Jain Monk.

parent of the month

The Biography of a Gracious Mother

This post is brought to you by Rima Desai

Parent of the Month (May 2015): MRS. PUJA RAMCHANDANI

Today on May 13th, I am fortunate to celebrate the most memorable birthday – The Birthday of my ‘Adopted Mother’! Haha, yes! I call her my adopted mother. Well ideally, she adopted me as a child just a heart-to-heart connection, no official adoption, etc. She my best friend’s mom whom I found in my college years when I was lost, depressed, missing a mom figure in my life. My biological mother died when I was 6 and (Puja Ramchandani) Mom came to my life as an Angel!

This is the bio of a Parent who has faced numerous challenges in life with the best of courage and smiles. Even though she lost her mom at a crucial age of 17 years, she turned that difficult phase of life into a powerful journey. She has taught many of us to LOVE unconditionally, and to pass through the fogs with might. She epitomizes the word ‘Mother’ esp. for me as I call her ‘Mom’. Welcome our Parent for May 2015 – MRS. PUJA RAMCHANDANI.

Dedicated to You Mom, from all of us!

As a child, she was reserved, shy, and could not speak openly with her parents. After losing her mom, her elder sisters were there with her only for a few years. (In India, girls got married very early in those times). Her dad was strict and disciplinary. She learnt important values from him but it also created fear within her. Losing a mom at teenage feels like losing one’s spine. Not having guidance, and support, she turned out to be an innocent person. When she got married, she was scared to travel by the local trains. She would want to visit her sisters who lived in town, far from her home. Her husband helped her a few times but eventually she gathered the courage to go by herself.

She steered through the challenges of her newly married life and built great relations with everyone within the immediate and extended family. After finishing house work, in the afternoon, she would find time to experiment with new recipes and soon her recipes were the ‘talk of the town’. She was always identified as a person who took great care of everyone in the family, her in laws, her children, and many others.

Mrs. Ramchandani’s life called for sudden and heavy adjustments. Often the dynamics altered between joint and nuclear family. Both of the family systems have their grave challenges and imagine having to make arrangements in the home according to how the family structure changes. Over and again, she took care of extended family members who lived with her for several months and being a mother, I can understand how that impacts one’s daily family life. The beauty is that she embraced each situation and ‘change’ with grace! Each time it was a different type of adjustment required and she stayed up to it powerfully.

Personally speaking, I have seen the small house they lived in. Having two young children, the way in which she adjusted in that short space and yet made it into a beautiful home is admirable! Even though she had a lot of family responsibilities, she ensured her children grew up with fun. She encouraged them to participate in activities, competitions, sports, and academics while also caring for all the other family members. She has always been very involved in her children at all stages and given them all that she has missed in life. I have also witnessed the dedication with which she cared for her ailing, bed-ridden father-in-law for more than 8 years. I am in awe of her!

In her mid-life, her husband and son relocated to a new country in their need to support the family and take the upcoming opportunity. It was a massive change. The responsibility of finances, caring for the home, in-laws, and getting her daughter through with her education, all fell on her shoulders. At this juncture Mrs. Ramchandani came out even stronger than before. Like the saying goes – The difference between ordinary and extra-ordinary is the ‘extra’.

We have a lot to write about Mrs. Puja, but we have more to hear: heart-warming words from all of her children. Her son recently got married and now her family feels complete!

Son: NILESH (NEEL)

“Mom, you know I do not express much with words but you mean the world to me. You are the most amazing person I know. The things you do, not just for our family, but for everyone are greatly appreciated… You have given me strength, values, and love. You are the best chef of the world. Your food has healing powers! You are the Angel of our family Mom, Thank You for everything you do!”

Daughter: SARITA (HANISHA)

Mom has given me so many gifts by just being the person she is. She has given me ‘LIFE’ and an opportunity to be a part of GOD’S Manifestation and a bond which is going to last forever. I cannot thank her enough for all the lessons and values she has given me as a priceless treasure.

“Mom you lift me up and never let me fall. You see me through and you see the best in me. You inspire me to be a better mom. Most of all, I cherish your hugs. Even when you scold me, when we argue, I am learning something from you. I am grateful for all your teachings. You are the Miracle of my World. You have Shaped me to the best of me and You are the reason, I am me. I am blessed that God chose me to be your child, my love for you is infinite!”.

Memories with You MOM:

Story time with you as a child; esp. the bedtime spiritual Gurbani was just so relaxing and every night you gracefully taught me to face life with courage and moral values.
You stayed up with us for studies and exams like it was your test. I still remember how you stayed up praying and studying with us in our crucial years. You made us coffee / milk to keep us awake. You were so involved with Neel and I that we felt our classes and projects were as much yours and our competitions were incomplete without you.
After Neel and Dad relocated, I saw a stronger, different person in you. Those days are memorial to me as we shared our tough times together adjusting and making sacrifices.
You spend an awesome time with Nishika; you make a wonderful grandmother!

5 Special qualities of Mom:

Very helpful: You go out of her way to help others
Compassionate
Multi-tasking
Active and energetic
Quick and spontaneous on any task
Forgiving – even when people do bad things to you, you move on without grudges
You create happy surroundings wherever you go
I appreciate your chirpy, jolly, and hard-working nature

Daughter-in-law: PRIYANKA (SIMRAN)

“Mom, I am lucky to be your daughter-in-law. You give me the strength and power to adjust in a new place and you also make me feel comfortable. Even though I am away from home, I feel at home :) You are a special person because of the priceless heart you have. You are so loving and affectionate!”

My special memory with you is our welcome dinner dance on the song – “Tera mujhse hai pehle ka naata koi”.

Son-in-law: AMITH MELVANI

When I came to India before marriage, mom made me feel extremely comfortable and because of that I enjoyed my wedding shopping with them.

“Mom, this is the perfect platform to share that when Sarita and me needed you the most during my challenging times, you were super supportive; you helped us immensely even with relocating our store. I was very moved by that. Mom I have known you as someone with a heart filled with so much love for everyone. You go out of your way to be of help without bias, even if that person hasn’t been nice to you. I am fortunate to have your daughter as my wife because she has imbibed your forgiving and caring nature. By law you may be called my Mother-in-law but I relate to You as my Mother!”.

from all of us :)

Notes from me: RIMA

Writing my heart out to ‘Mom’ can be the toughest thing for me because there is so much for me to express that a sea of emotions explode. I am grateful, I have received this opportunity from the Universe to write about Mom. After God sent her down to earth, he listed – “No more in production”. Sounds hilarious but she is the Only one of her kind. ‘Grateful’ is a very small gesture I can say to her.

When I lost my mom at 6 years of age, I grew up feeling ‘greatly deprived’. I had a lot of internal pain from hearing other children use the word MOM. I had no one whom I could call Mom and as simple as that sounds, it is extremely painful for a child. Many people would SYMPATHIZE with me but mom was the the only one who went a step further. I was a complete stranger to her. She didn’t know my family, had never come to my home, and knew nothing else about me besides that I was her son’s classmate in school. Our religions were very different too. In those times, not many would openly embrace a person from a totally different religion.

Unlike all others, Mom made me her ‘Daughter’ and allowed me, in fact, declared that I refer to her as ‘MOM’. There is no other gift I can receive that can be more PRECIOUS. After so many years of lull, it was hard for me to even speak out the word ‘MOM’.

Year 2005, India

For several years, I had nobody to talk to, nobody who loved me unconditionally, no one who cooked food of my liking. I craved all of this deeply and often cried several hours at night. From all the friends and family – tons of cousins I knew, I was the ONLY one who belonged to a Single Parent family. This feeling slowly got healed as Mrs. Puja (Mom) made for me a place of great love in her heart and home.

Mom would invite me at her home and hear all that I had to say. She would go out of her way to cook food of my liking, food that she hadn’t cooked before. Being a Jain by religion, I wouldn’t eat onions, potatoes, carrots, and garlic at all. Cooking food without these ingredients was a challenge because it was totally new and unknown to her. But she LEARNT to make my favorite vegetables EXACTLY the way I liked them. She made the most delicious BHINDI (OKRA) veggies – the taste of which from the year 1999 is still in my mouth! Who would do all this for a stranger?

The way she has brought up her two kids speaks volumes of her character, her courage, her strength and her love. I will fall short on words and space to write for her.

“Mom you are way too special to me and I there is no way I can repay You for all the love you have given me. In cold, screeching blizzards of my life, you covered me with a warm blanket that kept me going safe and strong! You came specially to my engagement ceremony, that meant a lot to me. Thank You Mom.

I am more than grateful and I sincerely hope God will give me a chance to SERVE YOU, to CARE FOR YOU in return. Your love, comes out in your food and in your talks. You are so much fun, so loving, spiritual, courageous, and such a sweetheart. I know it is not only me, you have opened your heart to many children, many people, and helped many more than we all even know. I am far from you since several years but yet, I haven’t felt that distance. Even if we talk once in several months, you are there, just the same.

I was happily surprised to know how much Simran knew about me even before I spoke to her. Thank You for introducing me to her, even in my absence… what more should I say?… My eyes are full with emotion. I am sure there is a great reason why my Mom’s bday and your bday are next to each other and why I met you in this life-time! Over the years, you have allowed me to be myself and loved me unconditionally. I remember how I used to save money and call you from phone booths to talk to you. I LOVE YOU MOM”.

Husband: VIDU RAMCHANDANI

Puja is a very cordial, loving, and caring wife. I credit her for raising mature, wonderful kids and adjusting gracefully when both of us had to be away. She is very affectionate and very well organized in caring for the home and entire family. I am lucky to have such a loving and caring spouse who has blessed my family with her presence.

“Puja, you are the perfect wife and the perfect mother. I admire you for who you are!”

This post is brought to you by Rima Desai Copyrights reserved ~ Will love to have your comments and likes to this post. https://rimadesai.org/

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Also read: https://theguidingstar.org/2015/05/14/www-lettertomymom-com/

parent of the month

Biography of an Incredible Mother

Parent of the month: March 2015

MS. KYEONG (MRS. NGUYEN)

“Kong sim-eun-dae kong-na-go, pat sim-eun-dae pat nanda”

This popular Korean proverb translates as – Beans come out from where beans are planted, and red beans (팥) come out from where red beans are planted. In short, this means: ‘how good the outcome is, depends on how good the input was’.

Today I am introducing a mother whose parenting screams this proverb aloud and clear. She had a strong vision for her children and her persistence brought success to her endeavors. At a budding age, the boys excelled in Taekwondo, received awards, and even became thriving, yet humble entrepreneurs in the field.

Parenting Booth wishes Ms. Kyeong many more years of good health and happiness

Mrs. Nguyen has two boys only at a year’s distance. It was tough to care for them while working full time. Daily at lunch break, she drove 30minutes one way for their care and then returned to work.
Later she found full time work from home.

As easy as it sounds, if you are a work-from-home mom, you know how challenging it can get. Let us read how Mrs. Nguyen journeyed through this for 17.5years with the intention to keep her children as priority no. 1.

How tough was it to be a work-from-home mom?

It definitely needed a lot of commitment. I had no time to look after myself or make friends besides the ones I met at church, just 1 hour a week. My workday started at 6am until 7.15pm daily and mainly involved phone calls. I would have to be on the phone while I dropped and picked them from school, often in my pajamas.

After school they both had the same class but at different times. I could not stay there because of constant phone calls. First I would drop Anthony, come home with Johnny and 20 minutes later take Johnny there. I helped them with H.W. until elementary school, but later they took care of it themselves. They were responsible and bright.

I am happy to have dedicated my life for their care. It helped them be successful at an early age and they loved it. I thoroughly enjoyed it too. I could not have done all this without the support of my husband. He has been an excellent father. He has encouraged me to give children time and spend money where it was needed.

Did you prioritize your children over you?

Yes I wanted to do that. For me, my family comes first. I chose my job over further studies so that I could add to the household income and give our kids even more opportunities to learn and grow.

What were your prioritizes for the boys?

1. Sports:
We lived in a very rainy state and so I could not keep them outdoors for long. At age 5, I signed up Anthony for Taekwondo close to home. Anthony willingly joined. Johnny observed Anthony well and later he joined too. They both did wonderful. They supported me in correcting their postures and practicing at home daily, didn’t go against me. This told me that they had great liking for Taekwondo.

One year we attended 9 tournaments – some in-state but most out-of-state. It needed adjustments in our daily routine but we kept up to it together as a family. The boys got selected for wrestling, basketball, and baseball. This is when I realized that they are born with sports’ skills within them. As our practices increased, my husband would take one son and me another. We both felt proud and delighted to watch our boys succeed.

2. Love for music:
I feel music adds joy to life. My husband and I both play guitar. Hence, I enrolled them in guitar classes and they loved it. Later they created their own band too! Anthony also played guitar at Church.

3. Love for God:
Every week we went to church. They made many friends there. We invited their friends and had fun times at home. Slowly even their parents came as we all bonded well. This helped the boys be social, friendly, and hospitable while also having fun.

4. Moral Values:
From a young age I taught them:

• Always stay united as brothers.

• Be polite to everyone esp. elders. As per our culture, also bow. Hence, they were and still are very good at greeting others.

• Respect others and that way gain respect back.

• Dad works hard for us; keep up dad’s respect.

• Stay united as a family. We set this example for the boys. My husband and I attended all their tournaments to encourage them and even if they lost in matches, we praised them for their effort.

• During matches, when they lost I said, “Don’t be discouraged, learn from it. To lose means someone is better than you are and so now, it is time for you to work harder to be better than them.

• I valued discipline but wasn’t overly strict. I cooked their favorite food, played games, and taught them in a fun manner like 3 of us ran like a train around the home while singing Math Tables.

Your message for your boys

“There were times when I got depressed but when I woke up and looked at both your faces, I felt brighter, happier and inspired to have another great day with both of you. I was extremely feminine in dressing and thinking but then my personality jelled in with yours. I have thoroughly enjoyed bringing you’ll up. I have NEVER felt the need to have a girl because both of You were so supportive, obedient, and mature. I’ve always heard good things from your teachers and other parents with no complains. I am very proud of you’ll. Extremely proud!”

A message from Anthony Nguyen – son

Some Special memories:

With Dad’s busy work at Intel, you found a job at home to take care of us. You allowed us to grow and gave us a chance to try hobbies that sparked our interest – that is how we found our life’s path in ‘Taekwondo’. Attending our graduations and being proud of us.

Special qualities of Mom:

1. She’s the best cook I know – Korean, Vietnamese, American, Italian, you name it!
2. A great listener and advisor
3. A very caring mother and grandmother too
4. She’s strong-willed and continues to be strong everyday
5. She’s beautiful!!! :)
6. She’s a gifted singer

Childhood memories with Mom:

-Watching me at tournaments and various championships
-Teaching me Korean language through studies and music
-Going to beaches in California
-Going camping and fishing

Mom you taught me to:

-Be patient
-To love
-To play the guitar
-To be a good sport in winning and losing both

For you my mom:

“Although we may not say it every day, both Johnny and I are grateful to have such a caring and loving mother. We love you a lot and know we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all this without you. You are the bond that keeps our family together. You are the music, the glue, and the love that runs through our whole together. Thank you for being You.”

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Copyrights – Rima Desai

parent of the month

The Biography of a Devoted Father

This post and copyrights belong to Rima Desai

Parent of the month: Feb 2015, Part II

MR. PRADIP UNADKAT

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going”. Our parent today is an exemplary hero who adds breath to this proverb. Wading through the worst tides of life at an early phase of parenting, he was convinced that nothing took precedence over the well-being of his children.

Let us welcome Mr. Pradip Unadkat on our platform today as we celebrate his 59^th Birthday on Feb. 27

Mr. Unadkat was born in Geita city of Tanzania country, East Africa. He grew up in Katunguru but the lack of finances refrained his education. With a stone on his heart, he began traveling to Mwanza daily to fetch money through work. Later he moved there permanently. At the age where other teens were talking fun and style, Mr. Unadkat had started full time work and with his blood and sweat, he built his business.

Wishing you many more years of great health and happiness from Parenting Booth

A message from his son: Vineet Unadkat

My mother fell ill when we were very young. I was 8 years and my sister was 4 when she passed away. It was the darkest phase of our lives. Only someone who has lost a life-partner and a mother that early can understand the pain we all went through. Now that I am a parent, I can understand with more depth how dad must have endured the situation. I still remember the things he would do to make us happy. He did everything to ensure we don’t miss mom.

In fact, dad wanted to remain single but he realized that we both needed the love and care of a mother. Hence, for us, he remarried. This was very helpful to us because mom helped us learn moral values, be well mannered and she gave us the strength to fight against all odds. I can’t imagine growing up without her! Both Chandni and me are here today with mom’s unconditional love and support for all of us. Thank You dad for taking that step for us!

Dad also had to go through considerable financial hardships. Several nights he stayed up late to complete his work so that he could get his share of money to send us to school. It was only through his dedicated hard work that we completed our studies.

To fetch me a brighter future, he had to send me to another city for school and college studies. I was 15. This was the toughest decision on dad. Having lost his first wife, and then sending me away for studies was like another hollow at home but dad was tough as a rock. He knew he had to do whatever was needed for my progress. I lived with my uncle. It was only later that I realized dad and my mom had a play in large part to keeping up with my studies. For years, dad and mom sent several items to Uncle, including Pickles they made and Papad (thin, crispy lentil tortillas), in a way to repay what they owe.

If you know the Indian culture, pickles and papad are a very important part of our daily meals and hence considered a good trade. Making either of them is a tedious task.

Special Qualities of Dad:

Dad is the most helpful and generous person I know. He has dedicated his life to helping and serving others. He has helped several people in small and big ways. Mwanza is a closely-knit Indian community. Dad is one of the strongest pillars for others during their personal and during community’s cultural events. He attends to the guests, helps in serving food, and is also there to volunteer during medical trips or emergencies. Several times dad has left behind his work to help and serve others.
Even though dad’s position was not financially strong to get my sister and me through our studies, he worked a lot more and ensured we complete our education. No words can express my gratitude for it.
Dad is extremely forgiving by nature. Even if someone was mean, rude or did something very wrong, yet he would forget, forgive, and be helpful to that person.

“Dad from you I have learnt to be Patient. You have taught me that we will always get what we deserve and that everyone has to pay the price of his or her Karmas. Hence, I learnt from you to do good to others no matter what they do to me and as a result, ‘goodness’ will come back to me. I have applied this principle in my life and seen it work. You are amazing dad. I love you and I am proud to be your son! I am thankful to You and Mom for everything that you’ll have done for us.”

A message from his daughter: Chandni Unadkat

When I was done with my school, I wanted to work but during those times, in my family girls weren’t allowed to work. Unlike other dads, my dad stood up for me, against the social norm and allowed me to work. He gave me the strength and became the biggest support of my life. In fact, due to dad’s support, I was able to contribute to the family in times of need, esp. when my brother was still struggling and trying to settle in USA. Every step of the way, my Dad has supported me, whether in my job or with the choice of my life partner. I was 4 when my mum passed away of cancer. These were the darkest days of dad’s life. Dad’s decision to remarry was tough for him but he did it selflessly, just for us. Being a girl and so young, he did not want me to be without a mother and because of that I feel my dad is a Hero. “I love you Dad. You are my Hero, my best friend and God’s gift to me! I am blessed to have such wonderful parents in my life. Mom and You make our lives complete.”

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/biographyofadedicatedparent/

PARENTING

~Simple but highly powerful ways to show love~

Tip of the Day:

Show your children how much you love your spouse in ways other than just words and physical touch. Teach them how to serve each other by doing something that you may not like but yet do to give comfort or show love to your partner. Life is not all rosy and romantic, show love in your day to day routines.

What do children learn by observing such actions?

The importance of sometimes putting others’ need before theirs
Teaches them practical / realistic ways to show love which will help their relationships later in life
Gives them a sense of security and love in the family
Teaches them to share responsibility
Teaches them to respect others and others’ needs

Real life Example:

Lately my husband has been cooking some difficult dishes. Those that typically ONLY women cook and which are totally out of his comfort zone like Dudhi (lauki or bottle gourd) vegetable, cabbage curry. More so, he has been rolling and roasting chapatis (Indian flat bread) which is not only tough for any newbie but also highly uncommon for men to do. Maybe 1% of Indian men (non-chefs) do it.

Yet, he does it with a lot of joy. His purpose is to give me my extra free fun time or my own time. Other ways we show love and our union to each other is by playing silly games like running around tagging each other, making funny faces, water splash challenges, giving massages, making food of each others’ liking, giving each other a day or evening to utilize the way we individually want, sharing daughter’s responsibilities like brushing teeth, pick and drop, meal care, and so on.

More than anything, the joy my daughter gets to see us do these things for each other is phenomenal. The energy eventually spreads.. Now at 4 years, she wants to make Tea and Sandwiches for dad 3 times a week and that too from step 1st to end.

Please do not use this post as a WEAPON against your husband. lol but by all means Share it with them! :D Do not demand or command what they SHOULD do. There are several options in cooking or besides cooking, there are many things around the home that can be done together. The whole idea is to work together for fun. It could be doing groceries together, shopping, cleaning at home together, setting the table together… anything within each one’s comfort zone.

~Working together in one great way to bond a family, experience love and produce lots of joyful energy at home~

Also read: https://mystyrimz.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/marriageastrology/
* Note – all my articles are originally written by me. Find lots more info on my Facebook Page – Parenting Booth: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-Booth/838254032904102

Astrology

Great Myths & Misconceptions of Astrology. Things you probably never knew!

Last week, when I created my Astrology Study Group on facebook, 27 people wrote to me, asking me to look at their or their kids’ or husbands’ charts. I have been that person who has always been attracted to Astrology even though my family never depicted that. In terms of Astrology, my passion is to help people understand the TRUE MEANING AND PURPOSE OF ASTROLOGY. We are highly MISGUIDED in our knowledge and use of Astrology. There is so much I can say about this. Truly! and some of it, I have explained in my video at the end of this article. Do hear the video, there is lots of great information on Astrology in it. Below are some MISCONCEPTIONS we have on Astrology.

When predictions fail, we doubt astrology

If you have a bad experience with a doctor, do you stop believing in the field of medicine or do you simply change your doctor?Astrology is a very accurate and ancient science. It is also a highly complicated subject to understand. It is said that one can never learn astrology in one birth, there are so many complex calculations to be done that only 1% of the world’s population could ‘Master’ this skill. In fact, Astrology is more the work of a Spiritual Soul than that of someone who has learnt it. Hence, when predictions fail, when astrologers tell you things that do not come true, it does not mean that Astrology is wrong. It only means that the Astrologer is not well-equipped.

Astrology is all about Predictions

False! Predictions are possible in Astrology, but Astrology is so much more about diagnosing the problem areas of one’s life, analyzing the client’s strengths and empowering clients to focus their energies on their strengths. Unfortunately, today’s astrologers have made this subject very ‘fancy’ and ‘commercial’ by projecting it as a Science of Prediction. Hear my video to understand this better.

Astrology can help change your future

There are no real remedies to change our luck. As described in astrology, luck is nothing but accumulated karma – both good and bad and there are only 2 ways around it: face it with pain or face it in a spiritual manner. Gem stones are one of the biggest myths. Astrologers direct clients to gemstones mostly for commercial reasons OR due to the lack of true knowledge. Take a logical approach to this – if gemstones could truly dissolve your problems or make them easier, then all of the world’s problems could easily be solved or reduced. The truth is that there is a big psychological ‘trick’ here. We start BELIEVING that gemstones will help which increases our mental strength and start to attract better things. Gemstones, havans, pujas, etc., are not mentioned in ancient astrology as ‘problem-solvers’. To improve our luck, we must face our probems and by live a ‘satvik’ life: serve the needy, be kind by thought and deed, stop eating animals, work on our anger, greed and pride, meditate, use techniques like reiki and life-coaching to emotionally heal yourselves and so on.

Forecasts are true

There is no such thing as the forecasts you read in newspapers. It was created by someone and sustained by other astrologers to ‘hook’ us to their readings and services. Again, apply some logic here: there are BILLIONS of people on this earth, how can 12 zodiac signs and forecasts based on them apply to billions of people?! Trust that original astrology has no place for or description of daily / monthly forecasts like the way it has been projected to us for so many years. For once, read the forecast of another sun sign and find it to be true for yourself! Again, there is a psychological element here: we want to hear something ‘good’ or ‘fear based predictions’ attract us and no matter what is said, our mind finds a way to apply it to our life.

Sun Signs describe your personality

No two people are alike on this planet and hence, no two horoscopes! 12 sun signs cannot describe the personality of billions of people. Astrology analyzes our personality from so many factors: The rising sign in our horoscope, our moon and sun sign, the constellations and so on. It is a long list! Describing personality based on sun signs is just a ‘fancy’ thing.

Mangal Dosh(a) or Manglik is the worst thing to have in a chart

In reality, Mangal Dosh means only this: This person is highly ambitious and has an insatiable drive to contribute to the world. Hence, this person focuses less on family life, has more problems in personal family life but is going to be an achiever, a very successful person in society. This also shows a strong athletic drive, angry or impulsive nature in earlier years of life especially before 35 years. It is good for a Manglik to marry a Manglik for they can understand each other’s passionate nature easily but it is a myth that when a non-Manglik marries a Manglik, it threatens their life. A person with Saturn placed in or influencing the 7th house may also marry a manglik as Saturn is opposite of Mars and so helps to tone down the impulsive, angry nature of mars.Mangal dosh is considered when Mars in placed in certain houses like 2nd, 4th, 7th, 8th, 12th and is a ‘hot’ concept in India. Many people reject marriage proposals to those who have manglik dosh. Many astrologers believe this too.

Saturn is the worst planet and Sade Sati the worst time period

Contrary, Saturn is the best for polishing out our loose ends into a wise, successful person. Yes, it teaches lessons harshly but it always IMPROVES us in some way. Sade Sati does bring hardships and the extent of hardships depends on Saturn’s position in one’s chart and on the overall horoscope of a person. That period of life can make someone go from rags to riches or riches to rags. The toughest time of Sade Sati is the 2.5 years when Saturn sustains itself on the moon. Don’t fear Saturn, be happy that it strikes to teach and polish us.

Astrology works only if you believe in it

False! The planets or combinations in our chart continue to influence our life even if we reject the notion of astrology. However, this influence lasts only as long as our focus is a lot on the material side of life. The moment we start meditating and what I call ‘spiritualizing’ regularly, we start breaking the bonds of our karma. Remember religion is following a certain faith while spirituality is working towards self-realization and reaching the purest state of the soul.

We are doomed to the life written in our chart

Nope! Astrology clearly states that we write our destiny by our thoughts, beliefs and actions and since we create it, we have full control to ‘change’ it as well.

Kaal Sarp Yog is true

In astrology, yog means ‘combination’. There is no such thing as kaal sarp yog. If an astrologer says that you have this yog, change the astrologer.

Gun Milan is great to test compatibility.

In Indian astrology, 2 charts are matched to test on 36 points. It is assumed that the more the points meet, the better the compatibility. This is a great myth! Gun milan can tell you very little of how well you will settle with your partner in the marriage. There are other very important methods to test compatibility.

All Astrology is the same. Astrology is just one large subject with no branches

False! Linda Goodman is a classic example of Western Astrology which is very different from Indian, Vedic Astrology. China and Korea have their own astrology as well. It seems that each culture has some form of astrology which validates the truth in it but astrology notes in India date back to as early as 9th Century B.C. or even before!

Kundlis or Horoscopes can tell only certain broad things about us

False. Except for when you wake up, gargle and drink tea, your chart can sketch every minute crease on your skin. This means that your chart can tell your likes, dislikes, relationship with siblings, hidden desires, secrets, about your parents, friend circle, no. of spouses, nature of the spouses, directions you are likely to live in, passions and careers, school studies and so on.. Hence, be wary of sharing your birth chart the way in which you share news about your shopping.

A good astrologer will tell me about my life-span and warn me about accidents / all negative events in my life

False! A good, genuine, knowledgeable astrologer will NEVER mention these life-events to any client. Astrology has not given the RIGHTS to an astrologer to tell a person when they will die or something horrible will happen. Never!

It is hurtful to read posts of people who said the astrologer told them that they will no good or that they will meet a horrible accident in a few years, etc. Well, astrology was made to EMPOWER people, to give them true direction and hope and to believe that there is GOOD in every person and in everyone’s life. Ethically, astrologers are supposed to focus only on the GOOD and even if some negative news were to be shared it for the good of the client, it must be put in a way that the person feels POSITIVE and HOPEFUL.

Please share this information with others. Hear my videos. My website www.rimadesai.org

Self-Awareness

Life’s Lessons – a poem by Rima

This is an insightful poem that I wrote in my tweens.

Life’s Lessons

I was curious to know how deep the ocean was, but my hand couldn’t reach the ground;

I was curious to know how tall the sky was but my hand couldn’t ladder up

I was eager to know how far the horizon was, but my hand couldn’t stretch enough

I was waiting to discover how huge the earth was, but my eyes couldn’t gather it up

I was wanting to prove how strong I was, but my body couldn’t lift the weight

I was fighting to prove how right I was, but nobody ever listened to me

I was flaunting my beautiful body but somebody was always more beautiful..

One day a street child smiled at me and I smiled back. At this moment I wasn’t eager, I wasn’t curious, I wasn’t waiting, I wasn’t proving and nor was I flaunting! I was emoting; sharing one moment of happiness right from my soul! I was being myself without conditions and expectations.

That’s when I learnt –

The ocean is not deeper than my thought,

The sky is not higher than my will,

The horizon is not further to my foresight,

The earth is not larger than my kindness,

My limbs are not stronger than my tolerance,

My word is not stronger than my humble action,

My body is not better than my soul!

– Rima Desai

We have wasted a lot of time in proving, arguing, fighting, hurting, earning, back biting and in enjoying. And yet we have not changed this world to a better place!

Have we continued to complain but failed to act, to help, to take responsibility?

There is only a one letter difference between Better & Bitter. Which one do we bend towards often & why? The complaining team or the accomplishing team?

You may also want to read: https://theguidingstar.org/category/twin-flames/

Rima Desai's: Scuba Diving into the Mind's Pool

Rima is a Kids' & Women Empowerment Coach and a Spiritual Guide

Tag Archives: love

Mayur Chheda ~ September 2015

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When can astrology help?

The Biography of a Fearless Parent

The Biography of a Gracious Mother

Biography of an Incredible Mother

The Biography of a Devoted Father

~Simple but highly powerful ways to show love~

Great Myths & Misconceptions of Astrology. Things you probably never knew!

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When can astrology help?

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Life’s Lessons

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