Self-Awareness

FROM 181 lbs to 137 lbs

Life is a journey they say, for me it was a journey from being born ‘FAT’ to staying ‘FAT’ no matter how hard I tried. Whatever I had lost, I had gained it back and even more within a few months or years. My family was super happy to have a chubby 9 lbs baby with white cheeks dangling around as ‘fun’ toy for everyone. L-O-L but did I know then that the weight would become the ‘horror’ of my life, my self-esteem and existence!

s

RIMA

Being ‘fat’ in the Indian culture (India, Asia) is totally unacceptable. When we meet family, friends – current, old or new, the first greeting starts with a ‘weight tag’. If you have lost weight you get all the ‘wah-wahs’ (thumbs up), if you have maintained it, you get happily surprised faces gleaming half with praise and burning half with jealousy. But if you are anything like me, all you get is JUDGMENT! Major JUDGMENT, COMMENTS about your hips, thighs, stomach and lots of FREE, UNASKED for A-D-V-I-C-E!  If you think this judgement came only from other women, you are so wrong. It would start with my Father, be extended to uncles, aunts, friends, siblings, everyone. Growing up I began avoiding family and people in my mind just because I was scared of the comment they had to make about my ‘body’, even my TEACHERS!!!!

Honestly, growing up without a mother was anything but fun. I had nobody to guide me to be honest. My aunts would come home, eat food and leave. Some of them were very kind, but no one was there to guide me toward HEALTHY eating, exercising, let alone help me with my DEPRESSION and GAD – Anxiety! While I was praised for my skin color, my sister was praised for her thin body. I was developing an inferiority complex that was only growing with age. My friends and cousins were thin but I could not seem to get over my ‘sugar cravings’. I DID NOT KNOW I was depressed, we could not afford money for FRUITS, I had no idea was an ACTUAL SALAD was. I was busy figuring out how to ‘survive’ amidst major financial situations, emotional starvation, pressure of school grades, lack of friends, major loneliness and a body that felt HORRIBLE. By 5th grade (10 years) I was already 57kgs!!! I had bouts of being slimmer (not slim just slimmer) and being outright ‘fat’ over the years.

I can go on with that story but at some point in 2005 I discovered how much I enjoyed exercising. I was always in to sports and was a tom boy but never had I been to the gym. I had a huge home to show the world but we did not have money anything close to spending on a basic monthly gym membership, buying any exclusive fruits, shoes or gym clothes! I started nevertheless, with some SHAME, some CURIOSITY. I was so lucky to have found an amazing instructor – Imran Sir who showed me how to use weights to tone my body and I became confidence like never before. I dropped from 61 kgs to 56 kgs, looked ravishing and soon got engaged. Life seemed just fine! …

20160323_201632

RIMA 2006

… fast forward couple months. Married in a traditional family in East Africa, I was expected to do all house chores morning to evening and keep exercising or gyming the ‘last’ priority which wasn’t allowed to be checked marked most of the days. Eating sweets was a daily routine and choosing to eat anything beyond what was cooked was almost not an option. That is how most traditional Indian families are or were after all. I began gaining weight quickly. Fast forward… I slowly began to take charge of my life after the unexpected demise of my mother in law. I joined the gym, found another great instructor – JENNI. She was my angel in disguise. I shaped back to 59 kgs. Alas, that was temporary too!

I got pregnant and within a year, post my delivery I was 84 kgs!!! I was back to receiving comments, feeling ashamed, wanting to avoid social situations, unable to stop my sugar cravings no matter how much I tried. Being the person my dad and I have been, we eat more and binge more when depressed. I surely had it in my genes, all my parental aunts and my dad were heavy in their body and turned to sugar for busting stress but I wondered how did so many other Indian girls remain thin even after a baby and I didn’t!

5 years passed and I continued to range from 178 lbs to 181 lbs. I had moved from Africa to USA by then. Then one day, I had a wake-up call, I would say my Twin soul activated that within me. I was done being fat, feeling ashamed, socially awkward, rejected and outcast. For once, I started a weight shedding journey which was ‘SHEDDING’ not ‘LOSS’.

When we seek to ‘lose’ weight, we will ‘find’ it again at some point. When we seek to get done with it, shed it off, it’s gone forever. But what we need to know about that shedding is that more than the physical weight, what needs to go with it is the SHAME, FEELING OF REJECTION, GUILT OF EATING, VOICES OF OTHER PEOPLE, CULTURAL CONDITIONING and all the EMOTIONAL NON-SENSE that was built up and stored in our cells, bone marrow, aura, spirit and more. That was hence, the turning point in my body-weight journey.

By then I had been diagnosed with hypothyroid, the condition where weight shedding is very hard. But I was determined. I gradually cut down on and eventually gave up DAIRY PRODUCTS, DAIRY (except chocolate cravings that I had then), starting JUICING in my regular blender with ANY veggie combinations, re-began exercise becoming my own instructor (I could not afford paying one in USA). I also gave up the need to look good when I enter the gym but more than anything I BEGAN SERIOUS, INTENSE EMOTIONAL WORK. I began taking Guided Meditations, Hypnotherapy, Life-Coaching sessions to work through my FEARS, my SELF-IMAGE, how I related to my body, how I felt about myself and cried out many tears of the PAST NEGATIVE MENTAL SCRIPTS that I had internalized from the voice of other people and cultural expectations.

rima wt change.jpg

That internal, emotional work brought a huge transformation in the way I felt about myself, other women and about my life. I began relating better to my daughter, enjoyed my time with her, dropped my sugar cravings and found more ‘fun’ in life. All of this happened in 2015. Since then, even with major stress in my personal life with major life-changing very stressful events and having an even more complicated thyroid condition, I have managed to maintain that weight +/- 3 lbs.  From 2016, I have stalled in shedding more weight simply because I suddenly had the stress and need to urgently start earning and supporting myself financially but what’s amazing is that despite working very long hours daily, major life-demands I have maintained my weight. The reason I have been able to do so is because I changed my EMOTIONAL STORY. I changed how much I would want to please the world and how much I would want to allow my fears to define my body.

rima (1)

RIMA DESAI 2017 JAN

I  no more want or wanted to shed weight to ‘FIT INTO’ the world, I wanted to shed what made me feel good about my body. I wanted to do it at my own terms, pace and for myself. It has changed everything for me. I am not burning inside now looking at other women lose weight quickly. I am not wanting to starve myself or tell myself horrible statements for eating a couple chocolate squares. I love myself like never before.

I do have lot more weight to shed off and there is scope for me to do more EMOTIONAL WORK and PHYSICAL WORK on my body and spirit, yet it is not coming from a place of SHAME, GUILT or SELF-HATRED like before. My body does not define my emotions, life or self-acceptance. I accept my body and am okay if I don’t ‘fit’ into the society as per their expectations.

  THIS IS ME 2 WEEKS AGO :)

r3

RIMA DESAI DEC 2017

Do you relate to this story? Does it move you or inspire you to DISCOVER YOURSELF, YOUR POWER and RECLAIM YOUR LIFE? Allow me to show you the GUIDED MEDITATIONS that you can do to shed that weight off your SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. You can never maintain your weight if you have a negative emotional story attached to yourself, your past or your body. BOOK YOUR FREE PHONE SESSION WITH ME HERE

Standard
Self-Awareness

Top 12 Ways to Beat Your Sugar Cravings

Umm, sugar is so yum. How can anyone have coffee or tea without ‘S-U-G-A-R’!! But it is also the most contagious ingredient and the biggest enemy of the heart! So let’s ‘manage’ it. Bring a balance.

sygar.jpg

 

1. DIAGNOSE IT CORRECTLY: sugar cravings are a lot more about something else and a lot less about ‘sugar’. We crave sugar for a reason other than the sugar. The sugar has a potential to give our brain ‘happy signals’ so what else is your brain missing which could bring the ‘Happy Feeling’? Love? Nutrition? Food when hungry? Relaxation?

2. EAT MORE DARLING: S-T-O-P starving!! It never helps, not in the short term and it 100% harms in the long-term. You rather eat 6 small meals a day every 2.5 to 3 hours than have 3 large plate-fulls.

3. PLAN AHEAD: What are you eating at the next meal? Decide before you wrap up this one. That way you are not scrambling for food when your stomach is screaming ‘Hunger’. What choices to make at the party / travel? E.g. eat ahead and then leave, pack health food, plan to visit places that give you healthy food options, etc.

4. SEEING IS BELIEVING: Our brain is so programmed to ‘see’ things before interacting with them. So let your brain interact with the healthy stuff more and you have won your battle half way through. Right now check what your pantry and snack drawer shows you when you open it? Do you see more sugar or more health? Also, keep your meals READY in See Through containers right at your vision.

5. ATTRACTION IS THE KEY: You are building a RELATIONSHIP with your food, so better make it attractive!!! While you decide on MORE salads, soups, oats and juices, add some nuts, seeds, cilantro, dates, raisins, strawberries or whatever your require to make your body CRAVE for the healthy food in the same way as it craves for the sugary foods.

6. RAKE THE FAKE: Rake out or throw away all your fake sugars – sugar free, diet cokes, Splenda, etc. are very harmful to our brain since they are more processed and contain essences or ingredients that are chemically harmful. You rather have a whole bar of chocolate with sugar in it than have one piece of sugar free chocolate. Your body can fight out the former much more easily since it is much less complex food!

7. CUT THE BRANCH: Stop ‘Hanging Out with your Guilt’ forever. You ate it, that moment is gone forever! You criticizing yourself, thinking about it a 1000 times, beating yourself up will not help one bit. Rather take a pen-paper, write your next goal, stick it on the wall

8. WHO ARE YOUR REALLY?: Ask the Sugar – “Who are you really?” Is the sugar your hurt from past relationships, resentment and bitterness towards your parents, partner or friends? Is it your habit from childhood to protect yourself or to make yourself feel better? Is it your way to relive your happy moments that you miss or just the lack of enough sleep?

9. SLEEP EARLY: Do this for 30 days in a row, sleep before 10.45pm and a 100% you will see a dip in your addiction, weight, stress and a growth in your health. Now, I am in the challenge too, I need to be accountable as well.

10. FOOD JOURNAL: My Dietician Anuvi taught me this in 2006 and it has been my savior whenever I put my mind to it. Note down every little thing you ate, in each of its amount and time of the day and run back on your notes each week. You will surprised how many times you told you mind – “I am only having a little bit” Food Journals have great ‘mirroring’ power, use it to your benefit.

11. KNOW YOUR FOOD: Carbs is also sugar. The chapatti and grapes are sweet tasting because they have carbs which convert into sugar in our body. Do your best to include more proteins, fiber and less sugary veggies in your diet.

12. BUNK THE CALORIES: In the 18 kgs I shed in a year, not once have I looked at calories. Eat clean carbs, more protein and some fats.

Article Credit: Inspired by Kathy – my once upon a time, Fitness Trainer Friend

Image Credit: Flickr found on Google images.

Standard