Money Secrets

Making BIG Money – ‘The Secret’

Big Money! The green notes, “paisa duniya ko gumati hai” (money runs the world – in Hindi). “Sahi kaha” (as in rightly said).

But it is the dark truth that we need money and we need more. The daily demands of living are increasing and so are our debts. Why don’t our pay cheques then catch up as well? What really is the secret to making more money quickly and easily?

My money awareness started about a year ago, when I realized I had really nothing much to ‘bank’ on. For ten years I had no work permit, I was living off my husband’s hard earned money with little, almost no savings. My self-esteem had obviously no ropes for staying at home, I was given little value and I myself felt like I wasn’t contributing enough.

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I find it weird that in U.S.A. so many thousands, (no exaggeration) of men and women blindly plunged into I.T. as their new career in this new land simply because it promises jobs and a great income to start with. I have seen many people totally oblivion to I.T., get a starter in big companies. They do so by submitting ‘fake’ certificates acquired from India and by doing short, quick courses to get important prior knowledge to start off. Firms in USA hire us Indians/Asians because not only are the certificates convincing but also was the fact that Asians are extremely smart and hard working. No lies. We are intelligent, we know how to sweep our way through the tunnels of success no matter what!

My struggle has been the choice between doing what I love and doing the ‘smart’ thing as others call it. They all say, it is smart to get into I.T. as the pay cheques start anywhere from $4000 a month! But I.T. is not anything close to what I love doing. I am an all in and out people person and love Psychology to the core. However, in USA my degree is considered as good as useless because for one, I studied from a developing, 3rd world country and for two I do not have a Ph.D. required for practising as a Psychologist. Even to teach, I would have to go through a whole process to get my teaching certification, learn the latest Psychology terms, pass exams and more. Studying another Masters of Psychology from USA even for one year, would cost me up to $28,000.

Here was what my thought process was 3 years ago: “I studied Masters in Psychology from Mumbai, India. Studied thick books, tough terms, as good as law and toiled all those years for nothing?! To stay  home for an entire decade and rot in my brain and life with no success?” I was going through a major identity crisis alike many other immigrants. I felt outcasted career wise, there was no place for me to set foot.

Life had swept my career off my sweep in a jiffy and held me captive for 10 years. After being released from 10 years of that prison, not only was my mind blank, my heart was blank too. The clouds of confusion had gotten under the thick boots of determination.

Don’t get me wrong, I am the typical Type A, go getter personality. So, I could not possibly sit there allow life to consume me. It sure did but while it was demolishing the empire of dreams I once had, I began to write a new story. I was building a mini castle of faith and joy for myself.

I was enrolled as a student in Transformational Life-Coaching Certification from SWIHA, I started holding camps for children from home, I was writing and publishing articles in well-known networks and yet I was earning close to NOTHING. Fast forward a few years, I received my Green Card in 2016 and started working in a day-care. In no time, I was working in a Montessori and now in USA’s largest Charter School working with Special Needs’ Children as a one-on-one Para. I typically get to work with low functioning, high autism, ADD/ADHD or other special needs’ children. Finally, my passion and talents from psychology were beginning to come together.

I am also Life-Coaching Women one-on-one now, helping them realize their passions and follow their dreams, making tons of inspiring Facebook Videos for women and holding side classes for preschool children from home. I am sure not making a whole lot of money YET, but my heart is fulfilled with how I am giving back my gifts and talents to the world and doing what I desire. No regrets if I die tomorrow!

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It impacted my self-esteem deeply and to know that we were going deeper into the debts we held in USA was even more stressful. In other words, no money to invest, no starter support, no educational support, no work experience to show for a decade, only my WILL-POWER, MY SPIRIT. But what if God offered me all the other things at the cost of not having WILL-POWER, not having a STRONG DRIVE? What would I chose?

I would chose my internal drive at the expense of giving up all other resources and that is exactly what my career path has proven to me, I have proven it to life.

I have proven that I won’t compromise my passion for a paycheck, my will power for support, my internal drive for outside resources. If I have a choice of either, I will always chose the former. I have now, after 10 years, set myself on a tough journey of building my career by myself, as a Single Mom, in a foreign country, with lack of capital or other important resources but I know that I can CREATE my own network, my own resources and the Universe will have my back for living a life where I am TRUE to my TALENTS and my PASSION.

Do you relate to my story? Do you have a similar strong drive to share your gifts with the world? Everyone who tells you – “It won’t happen” is your ultimate RESOURCE to make it happen. Because they said it to you, now you can do it even more, even better~ Go for it Wonderful Woman ~ Follow your passions!! Watch my VIDEO HERE

What if we were to use our intelligence to enrich our lives over and beyond the money factor? For sure, some of us are made for IT and have that carved deeply in our ‘passion’ book. But for scores of others, it is just a ‘job’ that starts with another ‘draggy’ day and ends with another pay cheque. Do you really enjoy the feeling of working 9 to 5 or rather 7pm to 9 pm for that pay cheque, pension plan or bill that gets paid? Or would you rather have MORE MONEY THAN YOU CAN SPEND and enjoy every bit of earning that money, love your life for it and not feel half as stressed or weighed down by the challenges that the work presents.

I want you to hear my video above, hear my inspiring story, see what life has in store for you!

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Self-Awareness

FROM 181 lbs to 137 lbs

Life is a journey they say, for me it was a journey from being born ‘FAT’ to staying ‘FAT’ no matter how hard I tried. Whatever I had lost, I had gained it back and even more within a few months or years. My family was super happy to have a chubby 9 lbs baby with white cheeks dangling around as ‘fun’ toy for everyone. L-O-L but did I know then that the weight would become the ‘horror’ of my life, my self-esteem and existence!

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RIMA

Being ‘fat’ in the Indian culture (India, Asia) is totally unacceptable. When we meet family, friends – current, old or new, the first greeting starts with a ‘weight tag’. If you have lost weight you get all the ‘wah-wahs’ (thumbs up), if you have maintained it, you get happily surprised faces gleaming half with praise and burning half with jealousy. But if you are anything like me, all you get is JUDGMENT! Major JUDGMENT, COMMENTS about your hips, thighs, stomach and lots of FREE, UNASKED for A-D-V-I-C-E!  If you think this judgement came only from other women, you are so wrong. It would start with my Father, be extended to uncles, aunts, friends, siblings, everyone. Growing up I began avoiding family and people in my mind just because I was scared of the comment they had to make about my ‘body’, even my TEACHERS!!!!

Honestly, growing up without a mother was anything but fun. I had nobody to guide me to be honest. My aunts would come home, eat food and leave. Some of them were very kind, but no one was there to guide me toward HEALTHY eating, exercising, let alone help me with my DEPRESSION and GAD – Anxiety! While I was praised for my skin color, my sister was praised for her thin body. I was developing an inferiority complex that was only growing with age. My friends and cousins were thin but I could not seem to get over my ‘sugar cravings’. I DID NOT KNOW I was depressed, we could not afford money for FRUITS, I had no idea was an ACTUAL SALAD was. I was busy figuring out how to ‘survive’ amidst major financial situations, emotional starvation, pressure of school grades, lack of friends, major loneliness and a body that felt HORRIBLE. By 5th grade (10 years) I was already 57kgs!!! I had bouts of being slimmer (not slim just slimmer) and being outright ‘fat’ over the years.

I can go on with that story but at some point in 2005 I discovered how much I enjoyed exercising. I was always in to sports and was a tom boy but never had I been to the gym. I had a huge home to show the world but we did not have money anything close to spending on a basic monthly gym membership, buying any exclusive fruits, shoes or gym clothes! I started nevertheless, with some SHAME, some CURIOSITY. I was so lucky to have found an amazing instructor – Imran Sir who showed me how to use weights to tone my body and I became confidence like never before. I dropped from 61 kgs to 56 kgs, looked ravishing and soon got engaged. Life seemed just fine! …

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RIMA 2006

… fast forward couple months. Married in a traditional family in East Africa, I was expected to do all house chores morning to evening and keep exercising or gyming the ‘last’ priority which wasn’t allowed to be checked marked most of the days. Eating sweets was a daily routine and choosing to eat anything beyond what was cooked was almost not an option. That is how most traditional Indian families are or were after all. I began gaining weight quickly. Fast forward… I slowly began to take charge of my life after the unexpected demise of my mother in law. I joined the gym, found another great instructor – JENNI. She was my angel in disguise. I shaped back to 59 kgs. Alas, that was temporary too!

I got pregnant and within a year, post my delivery I was 84 kgs!!! I was back to receiving comments, feeling ashamed, wanting to avoid social situations, unable to stop my sugar cravings no matter how much I tried. Being the person my dad and I have been, we eat more and binge more when depressed. I surely had it in my genes, all my parental aunts and my dad were heavy in their body and turned to sugar for busting stress but I wondered how did so many other Indian girls remain thin even after a baby and I didn’t!

5 years passed and I continued to range from 178 lbs to 181 lbs. I had moved from Africa to USA by then. Then one day, I had a wake-up call, I would say my Twin soul activated that within me. I was done being fat, feeling ashamed, socially awkward, rejected and outcast. For once, I started a weight shedding journey which was ‘SHEDDING’ not ‘LOSS’.

When we seek to ‘lose’ weight, we will ‘find’ it again at some point. When we seek to get done with it, shed it off, it’s gone forever. But what we need to know about that shedding is that more than the physical weight, what needs to go with it is the SHAME, FEELING OF REJECTION, GUILT OF EATING, VOICES OF OTHER PEOPLE, CULTURAL CONDITIONING and all the EMOTIONAL NON-SENSE that was built up and stored in our cells, bone marrow, aura, spirit and more. That was hence, the turning point in my body-weight journey.

By then I had been diagnosed with hypothyroid, the condition where weight shedding is very hard. But I was determined. I gradually cut down on and eventually gave up DAIRY PRODUCTS, DAIRY (except chocolate cravings that I had then), starting JUICING in my regular blender with ANY veggie combinations, re-began exercise becoming my own instructor (I could not afford paying one in USA). I also gave up the need to look good when I enter the gym but more than anything I BEGAN SERIOUS, INTENSE EMOTIONAL WORK. I began taking Guided Meditations, Hypnotherapy, Life-Coaching sessions to work through my FEARS, my SELF-IMAGE, how I related to my body, how I felt about myself and cried out many tears of the PAST NEGATIVE MENTAL SCRIPTS that I had internalized from the voice of other people and cultural expectations.

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That internal, emotional work brought a huge transformation in the way I felt about myself, other women and about my life. I began relating better to my daughter, enjoyed my time with her, dropped my sugar cravings and found more ‘fun’ in life. All of this happened in 2015. Since then, even with major stress in my personal life with major life-changing very stressful events and having an even more complicated thyroid condition, I have managed to maintain that weight +/- 3 lbs.  From 2016, I have stalled in shedding more weight simply because I suddenly had the stress and need to urgently start earning and supporting myself financially but what’s amazing is that despite working very long hours daily, major life-demands I have maintained my weight. The reason I have been able to do so is because I changed my EMOTIONAL STORY. I changed how much I would want to please the world and how much I would want to allow my fears to define my body.

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RIMA DESAI 2017 JAN

I  no more want or wanted to shed weight to ‘FIT INTO’ the world, I wanted to shed what made me feel good about my body. I wanted to do it at my own terms, pace and for myself. It has changed everything for me. I am not burning inside now looking at other women lose weight quickly. I am not wanting to starve myself or tell myself horrible statements for eating a couple chocolate squares. I love myself like never before.

I do have lot more weight to shed off and there is scope for me to do more EMOTIONAL WORK and PHYSICAL WORK on my body and spirit, yet it is not coming from a place of SHAME, GUILT or SELF-HATRED like before. My body does not define my emotions, life or self-acceptance. I accept my body and am okay if I don’t ‘fit’ into the society as per their expectations.

  THIS IS ME 2 WEEKS AGO :)

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RIMA DESAI DEC 2017

Do you relate to this story? Does it move you or inspire you to DISCOVER YOURSELF, YOUR POWER and RECLAIM YOUR LIFE? Allow me to show you the GUIDED MEDITATIONS that you can do to shed that weight off your SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. You can never maintain your weight if you have a negative emotional story attached to yourself, your past or your body. BOOK YOUR FREE PHONE SESSION WITH ME HERE

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PARENTING

IS TIME RUNNING OUT OR ME?

This article is for moms who feel OVERWHELMED by the vast demands of their roles as wife, mom, daughter in law, employee where there is no room for self-care. I have been there, done that and have emerged with healthy solutions and BOUNDARIES for myself. I share those practical, super cool tips from my practice as a LIFE-COACH that work a 100% at improving the quality of your life, give you more time, more energy and much less ‘stress’ in your day to day living.

I CAN SPEAK FROM BOTH ENDS –STAY AT HOME AND WORKING FULL TIME. FOR 4 YEARS I WAS A STAY AT HOME MOM, completely dedicated to my daughter but the ‘expectations’ of the husband and family from a stay at home mom are ENORMOUS! The most common response – “Sara din karti kya ho”. Initially the tigress within me would roar with anger but eventually with time I realized it is useless, men think in one gear, one direction only. So I then I knew with time, how to humor it out like in my mind I would be saying something so inappropriately funny to him like “balcony ki deewar par zhadu leke dance kar rahi thi” but we know that we work at home is endless.

A YEAR AGO I STARTED FULL TIME WORK, she was going to be in 1st Grade then aND THE USA LIFE IS HORRENDOUS IN ITS DEMANDS because I am not the mother who cooks food for 7 days in advance and cleans home once a week. I like cleaning the home every 3 days, car every week and cook at least a fresh dinner. Having to exercise, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, prepare lunch for next day, help daughter with 1.5 hour of H.W., drive her to classes, do daily religious prayers, write articles and build a business on the side. There are no helpers to help whether we are sick, have overtime work, guests or not.

SO GIVEN THAT THERE IS SO MUCH TO MANAGE AS A MOM HERE ARE SOME PRACTICAL TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS:

Majority people don’t realize that we spend 3 – 5 HOURS in a day on Facebook NewsFeed and WhatsApp groups, brooding over other people’s lives, unnecessary videos and forwards.

  • S-T-O-P LOOKING INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S NEWS FEED, display pics and family pics. When you look at someone else’s life their life is taking away time from your life!!! (UNLESS it teaches you something valuable). You can spend time either honing your life such that everyone will want to keep looking at yours or waste your time looking at how ‘cool’ someone else’s life is.

 

I use Facebook primarily to share my articles, grow my skills or my business. I spend no more than 10 mins. a week on Fb newsfeed mainly for death, new born or important announcements.

  • CHOOSE TOP 5-7 PEOPLE WHOSE NOTIFICIATIONS YOU WANT TO FOLLOW, unfollow all others. That way your NewsFeed is filled with news of people you VALUE the most.

 

  • STOP SHARING LINKS, ARTICLES, FORWARDS. You spend up to 20 mins. a day doing that, use that energy to hug your child, assimilate photographs or finish a quick workout!

 

  • PULL OUT OF UNPRODUCTIVE WHATSAPP GROUPS that don’t add to your lifeline, health and peace of mind. Some people read and forward quotes and health messages daily. How much of it do we actually practice and implement?

 

  • LIST 12-20 VALUABLE PEOPLE OF YOUR LIFE. That way you are not spending time writing HBD and HA to tons of other people on Fb and WhatsApp every month, people that won’t influence your life in any way. Remember that people who love you, will love you no matter whether your wish them or not.

 

  • FIND OUT WHAT KEEPS YOU SO HOOKED ON FACEBOOK OR CALLS? Take a moment of silence with yourself and ask yourself if you feel LONELY, EMPTY or feel you have a MEANGINGLESS LIFE. Do you feel jealous when you look at other people’s progress or wonder how everyone’s happy and you are not? These are indicators of ‘emotional wounds’. A Life-Coach can show you with fun games and exercises many ways to heal your hurt and create a life that makes you feel fulfilled.

 

  • START YOUR DAY WITH PRANAYAM, YOGA, AUM MEDIATION, not with text messages to people back in India, friends and family. A few minutes of silence goes a long way for great physical and emotional health.

 

  • KEEP ONE DAY OF A WEEK OR 2 HOURS IN A WEEK TO CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABROAD – the people who dearly miss and wish to connect with. That way you know how much time you are utilizing and where. Remember that the amount of time you spend talking over the phone or texting daily, that time you could spend to hone your skills to build a million-dollar life, million-dollar health or invaluable family time.
  • The amount of time you spend writing super emotional and heroic posts to wish your husband and kids on Facebook, IS WORTH ACTUALLY SPENDING WITH THEM IN PERSON.

 

  • ORGANIZING YOUR DAY IS SUPER IMPORTANT ESPECIALLY FOR STAY-AT-HOME PARENTS. It is easy to get swept away by laziness, “I’ll do it later” thinking. Set your day with cooking, exercising, other routines with specified time lines like ‘finish all cooking by 10am. Exercise 11am – 12pm, etc.’ Check Facebook once a day at bed time or a fixed time so that your day and thoughts are not CONTROLLED BY FACEBOOK!

 

  • SET PRIORITIES OF YOUR LIFE. On a paper make 3 columns: Most Urgent Needs, Immediate Needs, Needs that can wait and list them down. Check how your day to day actions are helping you fulfill these needs. You will be surprised at how much time is taken away by Needs that can wait while your urgent needs are being ignored.

 

  • MARK APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES. What does that mean? IT MEANS STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER. Most of the ‘gyan’ I blurted about Facebook and WhatsApp in the above pointers is all about creating BOUNDARIES around your life and you such that other people do not take over your time and energy so that you feel more in CONTROL of your choices and life. -Say NO to a friend when you know that you need that time to exercise.-Attend 2 instead of 3 events on a weekend so that you can finish groceries and house chores. -Split with your husband in attending events for your kids so that you can turn takes doing work and having fun. -Balance out the amount of fun and work that is taking over your time. -Sometimes people are unable to say “I need to hang up” or feel guilty for NOT calling a friend.-Know that your life needs your attention before anyone else’s life does. Guilt has no place there. -REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT, even if you don’t call them as much, don’t go out with them or can’t help them to the extent they need.BE NICE, HELPFUL AND KIND FOR SURE BUT THERE IS NO NEED TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF, YOUR WORK AND PEACE OF MIND FOR IT. Do what’s within your reach, not beyond it.

    PRIORITIZING, ORGANIZING AND MARKING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES IS THE KEY TO MASTERING TIME MANAGEMENT AND MULTI-TASKING, USEFUL IN BOTH BUSINESS / WORK AND HOME LIFE. IF YOU CAN DO THAT, YOU HAVE GOTTEN THE RECIPE OF SOME OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.

 

 

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