This is an EXCELLENT GAME to get to know if anything WRONG is going on in your child’s life outside your knowledge. This game also brings a lot of closeness and bonding amongst family members and helps you discover things about each other you probably did not know. #mustplay #GAMES#family #parenting
Dhreya was very excited and eager for her turn to open the chit. Every chit had a special surprise question to which each of us have to answer. At first I thought this game may hold her attention for long but then I realized she loved it! Kids can surprise us with how well they can respond to ‘new learnings’, after all they are naturally curious and playful.
I have been fortunate to have a Masters in Psychology. Even though I have not specialized in Child Psychology, it has helped me a great deal to extend that knowledge to my upbringing and guidance of her and other kids. I am proud of the way she is growing up and the games we play as a family are pure ‘treasure’. This is a game that I have invented just a week ago. My mind bursts with creative ideas in my pursuit to give her the best upbringing that I can. Bonding with others and staying connected to our inner-self, our emotions is the most important element of existence. Today I am sharing this game with you, it is going to give you a huge amount of information about your family members and about yourself which you probably never knew!
AIM OF THE GAME: Finish all the chits or as many chits as you wish and have each one answer every question. Have fun!
HOW TO: All players sit in a circle. Players must know each other well like family members or very close friends because chits involve some personal questions too. Players must be 5 years + and must include at least one mature adult.
One person draws a chit from a bowl of chits. The chit is opened and question is read out aloud. The person holding the chit answers the question first and then the other players take turns giving their answers. Everyone must give an answer to each question, each chit.
WHAT YOU NEED: Chits made for each of the question I write below, water and some fun snacks if you wish
DURATION: You can decide how long you wish to play. To get through all the chits it may take a good 40 minutes but you can divide the game in 2 parts to play over 2 times.
WHERE: You can play this game anywhere where you have privacy. It is a great game to play when you are on a vacation or travelling but if you play in public, make sure you leave out some of the personal questions.
OTHER IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS: Let the participants know that there is no right or wrong answer. All answers are accepted gracefully and that there is no judgment and also that none of their answers will be shared with anyone else if they don’t want to. Ensure confidentiality for any sensitive information shared. Also let each individual know that – If some questions feel uncomfortable, pay close attention to those feelings. Why are they uncomfortable, what are the triggers there?
DISCLAIMERS and REMINDERS
It is important to not avoid difficult questions esp. with children because that discomfort will give you very important clues about what is happening in your child’s life that you may not be aware of but remember to play it only when EVERYONE FEELS COMFORTABLE WITH EVERYONE ELSE IN THE GROUP and to stop when anyone asks to stop or if anyone is way too disturbed to answer or continue. Ask everyone, even small and older children if they are okay sharing their personal likes and stories with everyone in the group. Stop if anyone requests to stop at any point.
QUESTIONS: Note that you can add on your own. When I made up the game, I had 15 minutes before it was our family game time and I quickly thought of the questions I could.
- The sport I always wanted to learn is ____ and that sport that seems least fun is _____
- The one thing I love at school or work is _____ and the one thing I dislike at school/work is ___
- MY favorite person at school/work is _____ and my least favorite person at school/work is ____
- If I could change one thing about myself it would be _______ and if I could gift one thing about myself ____
- If I had a million dollars _______ and If I had very little money _______
- If I could change one thing about my life _______ and the one thing I love about my life _______
- I feel happy when ________ and I feel sad when _________
- I feel confident when ________ and I feel inferior when _________
- I feel comfortable with ________- and I feel uncomfortable with or when ____
- My favorite body part is _______ and the least favorite body part is ________
- I love the touch of _______ and I don’t like when _____ touches me
- My most memorable trip so far is _____and the least memorable trip is _______
- The best moment of my life _______ and the worst moment of my life________
- I felt proud of myself when ______ and I felt ashamed or embarrassed when _________
- I feel loved when ________ and I feel rejected when ____________
As you notice the questions can go on and you can add your own questions as long as they feel ‘safe’ to answer to a child and adult. If there are deep emotions that emerge or discomfort, please be supportive of the person without any judgments or advice. Just hear the person out and say that you understand or that you will like to understand more. PLEASE DO NOT FORCE ANYONE TO ANSWER IF THERE IS CONSIDERABLE DISCOMFORT. Esp. with teenagers or around negative event memories, the aim of the game is to help not hurt more.
When we played this game, I was able to validate some answers like my daughter confirmed with me that she has hated the hugs and touch of her uncle which she remembers from 4 years of age. He used to force hug her tight and after several messages to them, he would not stop. Dhreya would come back home and talk about the hug in a fleeting way but I knew as a mom and a psychologist that it was bothersome to her. I finally wrote a stern message involving all concerned family members and ensured that he stopped touching her. Today after 3 years she still remembers that negative feeling! ON the other hand, I never knew that her least favorite body part was her nose!
This game is excellent to also teach your child that negative and positive emotions are normal part of life and that it is very important to be aware of what disturbs us and that it is okay to share it with people we trust! I played part of this game at a temple workshop that I did recently and received many positive reviews for the game.
Please feel free to share your views and how your experience was. Also, I would like you to honor this exercise as a reference to this article and my efforts if you happen to use it professionally or for any group or individual work. Any similarity found with any other similar creation is merely a coincidence.
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