Who am I? – I am Rima Desai: A determined, ambitious, highly motivated individual who is passionate about life: it’s sunshine as well as sunsets. In my career, I am a practicing LIFE-COACH, ASTROLOGER, CHILDCARE PROFESSIONAL (many domains), PARENTING EXPERT & ORACLE/PSYCHIC READER. But once upon a time, I was a mess, an emotionally broken person. Read on to be inspired with my 360 degree transformation. It came with much effort, pains of several breakthroughs and the sunshines I never anticipated! ~
Once upon a time in a crowded, busy city lived a girl who loved fairies – Me: ‘Rima’. The city never belonged to me. It seemed screeching with people that were very individualistic, greedy, selfish or just too busy. At age 6 trauma hit with the sudden death of my mom. Lucky enough to have a huge home to live in granted by my grandfather, 3 souls started our journey with empty pockets and sorrow filled hearts – My dad, my elder sister and I. The coming years were nothing like a fairy-tale, they were the perfect chapters of a drama thriller book with massive twists and turns. For my family and people outside all seemed well but the darkness we felt in our hearts, lives and home, only we knew!
While my dad worked hard to make ends meet, my sister and I worked hard to simply live life. Single parent family, major financial troubles and many difficult people around made it hard for an innocent child to believe that life can be fun. I felt deprived of love and burdened with responsibility from a tender age. After school, my sister and I would be cooking, cleaning drawers, cleaning the home, serving guests, walking miles in the sun carrying heavy grocery bags (back then in India groceries were sold by vendors on the roads at specific spots in the city). When puberty arrived, I knew not what it means to be a woman except shame. I was sexually harassed by men in my family who I would trust the most. A secret that stayed in my heart as shame, darkness, confusion for a very long time. Not only was I growing up in a city where men openly eve teased and even touched women in public travels but even my religion demanded separate treatment of men and women. Men seemed to have a much more superior place and ‘privileges’ than women. I wondered what was life truly about…
Life was hard. I had 1 friend only until age 14. She had several restrictions at home as well and did not quite have the understanding or empathy that my dying soul demanded then. In 9th grade, life finally sent me my Best Friend, my Soul mate who played a large part in keeping me alive! (Now, after 25 years, we are still Best Friends :)) My depression was deep and dark as coming home often felt like coming back to a prison dungeon. I was the ‘weird’, so called stubborn, loveless child of the family, easier to be rejected than to be understood.
Adults in the family who one could typically trust, seemed very judgmental, controlling and biased. It felt like feeling rejection, shame, embarrassment, negativity, low self-worth and a sense of meaninglessness was all life had to offer. There were times when I could not understand my father’s immense anger outbursts, frustration and harsh boundaries, or why other adults seemed to be so greedy, selfish or apathetic? I remember when after much searching, we found a new, talented helper at home. Within a few days my neighbor aunt had paid her more money and taken her away from us, we were little kids not even teenagers, cooking, studying, going to bed without a hug or a story. There were times I hid the shame I felt in wearing old clothes and used bags, many times I wished I had more than just ONE friend and amongst it all, my lonely heart missed my mom’s hug. She wondered – what does it feel like to have a mom? I cried long nights in literal darkness craving for just some unconditional love. In my hatred to myself (feeling deeply unloved, worthless and hopeless of life), I had hoped, even attempted to die a few times. Today, I am glad my attempts hadn’t worked!
Life went on with its good and bad experiences. With time, great wisdom, strength and talents found me. By my mid 20s I began to realize what a blessing life had been to me. Owing to all difficult times, I now knew how to easily gauge people and their characters, I knew how to earn and save money very early in life, I had the courage to stand up against men who acted wrong, my will-power surfed high with courage and strength. Because I felt alone in the darkest times, I had unshakable rapport with God. By age 18, my inner calling was true and clear – “My life-purpose is to help thousands of women and children find their internal power and rise above the atrocities put towards them.” Clearly, my life had a purpose that was led by God. Over all the tears, pain, sorrow and loneliness, I had learnt one very important lesson rather early in life – BE KIND and COMPASSIONATE, BE FIRM against INJUSTICE yet HUMBLE no matter what!
That took me to Masters in Psychology from Mumbai. My passion for Psychology reflected in my performance – an Ace Student! With the help of my teachers, therapists and guides, I also thoroughly worked on myself for 2.5 non-stop years. I confronted my deep seated insecurities and childhood perceptions. What blossomed was a new spirit, filled with wisdom and maturity.
Life moved in its own direction over the years and having moved continents post marriage, I did not get to pursue Psychology due to its lack of prevalence in Africa. My career came crashing down but eventually that helped me grow one step stronger into finding new opportunities by fighting all odds in a seemingly primitive city of Tanzania. Married in a Traditional, Indian family, I was expected to stay home, cook, clean, keep my ambitions and voice low, not ‘worry’ about going to the gym or nurturing desires that refused ‘acceptance’ from society. In other words, building a career with my dreams and passions should not have mattered to me according to the traditions. But I was persistent, I had to express who I was, why I was, the passion for growth that was bursting out of me! There began the journey of a Writer in 2009… from the leading newspaper – The Citizen to blog posts and even Auric Air Inflight Magazine. I further involved myself in Social work with NGO (Non-profit) Kivulini and Lions International.
Meanwhile, the news of being a mother soon were thrilling, even though I did not know the severe post-partum depression and health problems that were to follow. My last trimester and child’s birth was emotionally very daunting. I pleaded to my husband then literally on my knees with my hands folded, begging him to not send me to India because I needed his support for the last trimester. But alas, an Indian wife, is supposed to follow the husband’s word and the man of the house gets to make all decisions for her life! Fast forward, my ayurvedic doctor came to my rescue, saving me from taking my life in my severe Post-Partum Depression which was a combination of lack of emotional support from family and a very traumatic and rather miraculous birth.
Not having known how to raise a child, not having a mother or mother in law, I fought an inner battle daily and found ways to raise my daughter while caring for my father in law, husband, in a poor, developing city Mwanza and country Tanzania. I wasn’t allowed to continue pursuing some wonderful career opportunities even though they were very part time (Teaching 6 hours in a week!) because being a ‘good’ mother, a ‘good wife’ and a ‘good daughter-in-law’ were the stamps my in-laws cared about more.
…Then all of a sudden life had a surprise. I was shipped to USA for a 5 month tour that would never end! Yes, I did not know that my tour bags to USA in 2011 Summer was the launch of a new fate; I would never return to Africa! With hopes as high as New York sky scrapers, I slowly came to realize that all that glitters is not Gold. On my dependent H4 visa, I wasn’t allowed to work. This was my career’s 2nd death! The severe culture shock combined with the shock that I could no more utilize my Masters in Psychology degree in USA led me to depression once again. We were bankrupt, starting life from the very basics with not even $10 to buy a toy for my daughter. How could I then imagine paying $40,000 to restudy Masters in USA?!
One day google became my God and life’s curious steps drew her to SWIHA. The one door which had the key to many others! By Aug. 2014 I had graduated as a Transformational Life-Coach with a wonderful transformation within myself, all well within reach of $2000! And Yet, I had no official, legal work permit to go out and seek work or start my business…
…Even though I still awaited my work visa, I felt like a TREE had grown in my backyard overnight! Two years later, in Dec 2016, my green card arrived! I set out one step at a time, some with fear, some with confidence to work after 10 long years! Alongside I found a wonderful Life-Coach who helped me gain much personal freedom and self-worth! I transformed my body from 181 lbs to 137 lbs within a year and began realizing how in my marriage I had only ‘submitted’ to another man! After 1.5 years of intensive self-work, I began to slowly find my voice in the world and in my personal life. I started setting healthy boundaries in my marriage and personal relationships and started to feel great sense of self-expression, freedom and self-acceptance.
Life continued with its opportunities of growth and the soon I found myself in the flow of Earth’s ascension with a very special experience. My clairvoyance and empathic abilities began to blow out of proportion and found myself more and more eager to support ‘moms’ that felt overwhelmed, underappreciated and undervalued. Life spiraled calling me to look deeper within myself, my truth. I realized how much pretense filled my loveless marriage and how deeply I felt suppressed.
As I finally received my work permit, the Universe began weaving out it’s puzzle pieces to me. I moved out to live on my own in a foreign country, all by myself and started showing my 7 year daughter what it means to live with confidence and joy! Later, ex-husband and in laws turned around with more support than I had imagined or expected. Eventually, we mutually moved out of our marriage.
By 2018, I had re-visited my Transformational Life-Coaching Certification, gifted myself lots of self-healing from SRP, Family Constellations, Past Life Regression, Hypnotherapy and Personal Coaching and felt re-born with a new identity and sense of meaning in life. Now, I am inspiring many other women with my 1-1 coaching sessions and Live Facebook Videos on self-awareness and personal empowerment. I find joy in helping other women find their voice in their marriage, love, career, health and in their parenting journeys.
My women clients are typically those who are looking for emotional independence, higher self-worth, healing from depression or anxiety, have marital problems, seeking health related help, eager to find more meaning in life or needing more prosperity in life. WWW.RIMADESAI.ORG
Besides supporting conscious living in moms, I work as a paraprofessional aiding Special Needs Kids (Autism, ADD, etc.) in their emotional, behavioral and academic growth and runs Character Building & Skill Training Classes for children of all ages, I offer Vedic Astrology, Oracle and Psychic reading sessions both in person and virtually. I also coach children on MINDFULNESS, LIFE-SKILLS and ACADEMIC SKILLS.
Rima is an inborn Empath, Telepath and is growing her Clairvoyance. She channels naturally when she gives Angel Card Readings. Rima is on her journey of Ascension with her Twin Soul and has a lot to offer who are on the same path as her or to anyone who seeks more from life than just the mundane, day to day routines.
I am grateful to all the people who have supported me through love and through trials as both have played a huge part in helping me move towards my truth, my soul progression.